You Take My Silences and Make Them Less Alone // Gawsten

Chapter 18

2:40

5 more minutes. 

Ever since Awsten said he wanted to meet up, that has been the only thing on my mind. I needed  to talk to him again. I needed to set this right. 

"Mr. Wigington!", my teacher says getting me out of my daze. I quickly advert my head to the direction where the voice came from. I saw my teacher with an unimpressed look on his face. "Would you care to put any input in?"

"Uh - yes?", I say a little unsure.

"So what's your input?", he questions. 

"Yes.", I respond and he sighs and moves onto another person with their hand up. I went to check the clock again and groaned when only one minute had passed. 

I hope this fixes everything because I do not want to keep up this façade that we don't know each other. I want to know each other. I want to hold him and make him feel like everything is okay. 

I impatiently started moving my leg up and down nervous for what is to come. I was about to scream, but then the bell rung and I quickly sprinted out of my seat collecting my things. I ran out of the room crashing into people, but I didn't care. I needed  to see him. I ran outside and turned to where the bleachers were and that's where I saw him. He was sitting in the grass picking at it. I slowly jogged over to him and sat right in front of him like we usually did. He was still picking at the grass so I decided to speak up first.  

"Hey. I um - I really like your hair. Purple suits you.", I say nervously. 

God,why am I so nervous?!

He mumbled a small thanks and kept picking at the grass for a while. I didn't want to make him feel like he had to talk so I just watched. He was so concentrated and I smiled when he accidently got some dirt on his shoes. 

"I wanted to talk to you and say I'm sorry.", he said leaving me confused. 

"No, what the heck. I'm sorry. You did nothing wrong. This was all my fault.", I say. Why would he even think this was his fault?

"We both did wrong. I kinda had an opinion on you from the start and it wasn't a really ... good one. I wanted to apologize for jumping  to conclusions.", he said finally looking at me. 

"No. You had every right to. Plus those were probably true.", I let out a small laugh which he returned. 

Hearing him laugh was everything. I never wanted him to be sad again. 

"Lowkey they were, but", he teased making he playfully gasp. He smiled even bigger and to my surprise he reached for my hand. I was always the one grabbing his so this caught me off guard, but nonetheless I accepted it. 

"I want to be with you, but I just don't know.", Awsten said quietly adverting his eyes down back to the grass. 

"Hey,", I squeeze his hand making him look back up at me, "I want to be with you too. I want to make you smile. I want to make you feel appreciated. I want to make you happy.I want to hold you. I want you. Please, I will never make you feel like that again. You're not just a bet. You're much more than that.", I finished searching for something in his eyes. 

After a couple seconds Awsten broke the silence.

"Kiss me?"

I was taken back. I wanted to kiss him, but I don't want him doing this just for me. 

"Awsten, you don't have to. This is your decision. You - ", he cut me off.

"Geoff, I do want to be with you. These past few weeks have been hell without you. I wouldn't just kiss anyone and you know that. I want to try again.", he said letting go of my hand and standing up. I quickly followed his actions standing in front of him. 

"Really?", I ask smiling. He smiled and nodded. I brought him closer to me by grabbing his waist and he put his arms around my neck. I put my forehead against his and just took in the moment. I slowly leaned in, "is this okay?". He blushed and nodded. I took it as a sign to close the gap and let my lips touch his. 

It was slow and gentle. It was perfect. 

I've been craving this since our first kiss. He was everything I wanted. I never wanted to crush this boy again. 

We slowly pulled apart from each other keeping our foreheads against one another just smiling. 

"So does this mean we're trying again?", I ask wanting to make sure we were both on the same page. He giggled and nodded making my heart flutter. 

"Good. And for the record I really do like you. No lies. No bets. No nothing. I like you and nothing will change that.", I say pecking his nose making him blush and giggle even more, "I'll never hurt you again, I swear. You deserve everything, princess." 

THE END.