The nanny• Kim Namjoon

Chapter 39

Diana slammed the front door of the mansion, startling taehee who was sitting on the floor, attempting to do her homework by herself, "are you okay?" taehee got up and rushed to her side.

Diana plopped herself down on the couch and threw her things elsewhere, she started crying silently as tears of anger and disappointment flowed out and her lips formed pout, if its one thing Diana disliked was when she clearly wasn't okay and someone asked if she was, but taehee was innocent.

"I'm-" she hiccupped "fine" she responded before she started to cry a little more, her shoulders dropped as they started to shake, her pout was still there preventing her from sobbing but it made her look pathetic, taehee sat there watching her nanny cry and she started crying too, not knowing what to do.

Namjoon walked into the mansion, briefcase in one hand while a phone to his ear in the other, having a heated conversation with the supervisor of his company. "I told you to hire a system analyst, a systems programmer and a system administrator not fucking janitors, fix this or you're fired by tomorrow" namjoon promised, his face red and the veins of his neck and temples coming out.

He began mumbling incoherent words, upset what the mess his supervisor did and the limited amount of time he had to complete the software for the iPhone 11 project. He was frustrated, tired and hungry, at times like this he wishes his wife would be home to massage his feet and make him something to eat and he wasn't on good terms with Diana.

Namjoon's mind was so clouded with work that he only just realized that they were on the couch crying, he pinched the bridge of his nose, not having the energy to deal with this right now.

Diana kisses taehee's forehead before going up to her room, "whys she crying? Why are you crying?" namjoon once Diana was gone, "I'm crying because she's crying, I don't like when she cries" taehee sniffled and namjoon acquiesced by nodding.

He took off his blazer and took off his tie, he was debating on going to her room or continuing his work.

Meanwhile Diana was having one of her episodes. The constant thought of the negative outcome of the exam she did today only triggered memories from her childhood, the memories of her father shouting at her, insulting her, telling her how much of a disappointment she was, hitting her while her mother just watched and her saviour, her older sister wasn't there for her.

She pulled the sheets off of her bed and started trashing the room, cursing at the wall and slapping herself, at times like these Jimin would usually be there for her since they couldn't afford therapy and even if they could, she wasn't going to do it because Diana didn't like people to know her struggles, she didn't like to be a burden, but Jimin wasn't here, no one was.

Her phone started ringing and Diana walked over to see who it was, it was her mother, she answered the phone, "hello baby how are you?" her mother's sweet voice became sickening, "how am I? I fucking hate you, you're the one who made me like this and you did nothing, you just stood there for so many years, I fucking hate you! Don't call me baby again! Don't call my phone ever again! I don't want anything to do with you!" she yelled into the phone then threw it at her door

Just then namjoon opened her door and had to duck immediately because the phone would've hit his head, "what is wrong with you?!" he shrilled then looked at the shattered phone at his feet. Diana looked at him dumbfoundedly before she started to cry.

"you wanna know what's wrong? I'm a waste of a good fuck, I'm the walking embodiment of disappointment, I'm broken, I'm not worth the dirt under my feet" Diana declared, her words matching a compilation of insults her father told her while her mother stood there, not objecting anything.

"that's not true" namjoon objected, his voice sounding dejected. "don't do that, don't say that, you know its true, you know I'm a failure, you know I dot deserve anything, look at me, I'm nothing" Diana slapped herself and namjoon widen his eyes in terror.

"don't say those negative things about yourself" namjoon gulped as he walked closer to her, he grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers, "you're not a failure, you're not a disappointment" namjoon comforted, his voice shaky.

"why didn't you wish me good luck? Your words mean so much to me, it hurts when you don't speak to me, I'm sorry, very sorry, don't hate me" she looked down at their intertwined fingers and her sight began to glitch, going from their fingers to her abusive fathers finger wrapped in a belt, Diana pulled away quickly and pushed namjoon away from her.

"why do you want to hurt me? What did I ever do to you? I never asked to be here!" Diana roars, pushing namjoon and scratching his face a bit, he stands there feeling paralyzed as he watches this stranger breakdown, this isn't Diana.

"I'm a monster, why are you still here?" she tilts her head, looking a bit psychotic and namjoon gulps refusing to leave her room, "you're not a monste-" namjoon gets cut off by a harsh slap from Diana and that's when he's had enough.

He grabs her wrist and starts to shake her, "look at me, you're not a monster" namjoon asserts, watching her intently as she started to cry, he pulls her closer and shoves her head in his chest while she mutters a series of I'm sorry, namjoon begins to cry as well, his tears making the scratches on his face sting.

Diana was battling with inner demons and they were catching up to her. Namjoon knew something was off about Diana's childhood but he didn't want to assume further, it wasn't his business but if it continues to affect her like this it would slowly but surely become his business.

He membered Jimin's words at the café, how her past was still harassing her and namjoon couldn't stand it, who would do anything to hurt Diana? She didn't deserve this and he hated to think of how vulnerable she was and how seojoon would be able to take advantage of it.

He walked her to the bed and laid with her on top of him. Her arms fell at his side and his arms wrapped around her body. Her head was stuffed between his neck and his shoulder while he pats her back as if she was baby in order to fall asleep. But he was slowly fall asleep as well.