Ophelia and I stood on the second floor of the castle, watching Hamlet and Horatio leave. Who knew how long they would be gone? But now my life was only going to get harder. Now was the time to stop Claudius. And I had no one to protect me from his advances anymore, which might have been a good thing, if I wanted to stop him, but scared me even more. But it was time to be brave, not cower. I couldn't forget why I had come to Elsinore in the first place, though it was getting harder every day.
Now that Hamlet and Horatio were gone, Ophelia and I were with the other ladies more, and Ophelia was getting more attention from the queen. I started to think that perhaps she knew about Ophelia and Hamlet, but I had no proof, and honestly, it wasn't my biggest problem, not if she wasn't saying anything. Ophelia never said anything, so I decided to let it go, at least for the time being.
What else could I do? There was just too much on my plate. The queen gave me more duties, deciding she could trust me more, now that I had been there for two months. That meant fetching her bath water, my favorite chore (not). That meant lugging buckets of hot water from the kitchen to her room. And it had to be hot, because by the time I had brought enough buckets, it had cooled down. I had burnt myself several times before I got the hang of it all.
And then there was Claudius. I had no way of knowing how long he was going to wait before he would kill his brother, so watching him took up much of the rest of my time. And he mistook my watching for attraction, and cornered me again, except that there was no Horatio to come and save me.
"I noticed that you've been watching me." He had come up behind me. How that happened, I wasn't sure, since I thought I'd been keeping my eye on him. But there he was. He breathed on my neck, which made my skin crawl. "Now that your boyfriend is gone, have you decided you need someone with more... experience?" he breathed in my ear. I stiffened my back. What could I do here? I could say yes, which would shock us both. It would also be a way to get him to trust me. I could keep a better eye on him, and figure out a way to stop him.
Or I could say no and run away as soon as possible. That may earn me his anger, which was definitely not something I wanted, but the idea of saying yes to this man made me want to vomit. But it was all I could think of.
"Yes." I said weakly. I apologized profusely to Horatio in my mind. Claudius froze. I had been right. He had not expected that. Now I had the advantage. I had to think quickly.
I remembered history class, in college, talking about Henry the Eighth of England, and Anne Boleyn. In that moment, I made a decision. Anne Boleyn would be my inspiration, and I would use her tactics to get me through this. I just had to remember it all. I took a deep breath and turned to face the taller man. He looked slightly off balance, either from my response, or alcohol, or both, I wasn't sure.
"Well?" I asked.
He blinked a few times in silence before answering. "Really? I see you've come to your senses. A girl of your beauty shouldn't settle for someone so... poor." Yes, Horatio wasn't royalty, or a lord. He had to actually WORK for where he got in life. Right, don't say that out loud.
I faked a smirk. "Right. And if that's true, then I deserve... well, everything, yes?" I asked. He was still confused. I had to take advantage of this. Anne Boleyn held out, that was how she ended up married to a king. Promising to sleep with him, but not actually doing so. It was the chase that pulled Henry to her. The wanting. That's what I would have to do here, if I could do it without vomiting. Maybe that would be enough.
If I could keep him coming, keep him distracted for long enough, long enough for Hamlet to go to school and come back, maybe Claudius wouldn't still have the nerve to kill Hamlet the elder. He seemed like the type who wasn't very good at multi-tasking. My heart hurt a little thinking of Horatio, and what he would think when he came back, if this plan worked. It would almost certainly be over between us, which a part of me knew would be for the best, but that didn't mean I wanted it to happen.
Claudius looked me over, his eyes lingering on my hips, and then my breasts. "Right." That's right, Claudius. You want me, I thought.
He just had to want me enough to keep trying to get me. I had to be the virtuous girl here. Convince him I couldn't just sleep with him. Not that I would. I waited until his eyes made it back to mine, and put my hand on his arm, just so. "Well I'm glad to hear that," I murmured before pulling away. I left the shadows quickly, my heart pounding. I wasn't sure that was enough, but I hoped. I hurriedly joined a group of young courtiers, looking around for Claudius.
He came out of the shadows after another minute, and I saw him look around the room slowly. His eyes stopped on me and I offered him one more smirk. He raised his eyebrows and I knew I had made a good start. Now to see how long I could keep it all going. Oh god this was going to be hard. I already felt sick to my stomach. I turned away from him and to the group. At that ball, I danced with a different man for each dance. I felt his eyes on me each time.
I also felt that Ophelia was watching me, and I could tell she was confused. Why wouldn't she be? We had spent time together, her with Hamlet and me with Horatio, and not long after they left town, I was dancing with everyone. I would have to tell her... something. I just had no idea what. I couldn't tell her what was really going on, and I definitely didn't want her thinking I was after Claudius, although that was definitely what it looked like. But what could I say?
I really wished at that moment that I could tell someone the truth. Not just someone, I knew who I really wanted to tell, but he wasn't even in the same country. I wondered what the odds were that Ophelia WOULDN'T think I was crazy. I was never good at math, but the scales didn't seem tipped in my favor on that one. And if she thought I was crazy and told people... Oh boy. I was digging myself into a deeper hole with no real way out. What could I possibly do to fix this? Or at least keep the one good friend I had from hating me? This was really going to suck, unless I told her exactly what was happening. Her thinking I was insane was better than her thinking I was a whore.
Oh boy.
As the party started to break up, I hurried to catch up with Ophelia. Here went everything. "Ophelia."
She started to speed up down the empty hallway. Oh god, I hoped it wasn't too late to save or friendship. "Ophelia, wait!" I whisper yelled. She stopped and whirled around, and I barely stopped in time to not run into her.
"I misjudged you," she murmured, and I wished she was yelling at me instead of this cold voice. "I thought you were a good person. I thought we were friends. What, did you realize Horatio didn't have any money, and you decided to move on once he was out of town? God, you're worse than Cristiana. At least she doesn't pretend to be something that she isn't."
I teared up. "No, Ophelia, that's not what this is. It'll take a long time to explain it all, but I will, you just have to give me a chance to do it. Please," I pleaded.
She paused in her reply. She must've been about to steamroll on in her anger, but something in my voice stopped her. "What could possibly make you getting close to Claudius, and then every other available man in the room?"
I took a deep breath. "We should go somewhere to talk. Like I said, it's a long story."
