Worlds Apart

Chapter 8 // Without You

Kara slowly sat up and looked around, something was wrong. She rubbed her eyes and that is when she knew what. Her eyes snapped to the empty spot on the bed beside her and with that Kara glanced to the clock, 2:23. She sighed and stood up, for some reason her mind told her that Kara was with Lexie or something... and when she looked at the baby monitor she was right, but she needed to see it herself. She needed to see Lena, her wife, with their child.

So she slowly walked to Lexie's room and sighed internally in relief when she saw the door opened. She leaned against the door post and looked at Lena and Lexie. Lena was changing Lexie's diaper while the little girl was giggling and making weird sounds.

Kara smiled and looked around the room for the first time. She could clearly see it was made with no time since the walls were still plain old grey, just like Lena's bedroom, but there were some shelves filled with stuffed animals. There was one door in the room and an opening, she assumed the door went to the bathroom and the opening to the walk-in closet. But she didn't want to be spotted. Kara looked back at Lena who now was holding Lexie in her arms. 

Lexie was wearing this cute Supergirl romper, something that almost made Kara laugh, but she held it in and saw Lena's mouth moving. So she focused her hearing from Alex' calm but steady heartbeat to Lena's, receiving the whole package deal "-little girl, what do you think of Ieiu?"

Lexie made a weird sound and giggled quite loudly, Lena just chuckled and said "Yeah, she is pretty great, isn't she? I kissed her today. It was just," Lena paused, and Kara got nervous because she hoped Lena thought the same about it. "It was magic. The feeling of a breakthrough. The first time I saw you two... The same feeling I had when I saw her in my office for the first time."

Lena sighed "But I messed everything up, didn't I? It's- it's just pathetic. I am talking to a baby about how I trapped the woman I like- Heck I have always loved her- in a marriage she doesn't even want- but-"

Before Kara could stop herself she spoke up "No!" Lena turned abruptly around, facing Kara. Her face was a mix between shock and full terror. So Kara quickly continued a bit more hushed "I- I am not trapped. No-I-I might not be able to call it love what I feel like, because I don't know what it is yet," Kara sighed and looked down. She took a deep breath before looking up again "It is love- I lied. I have never felt it like this. Like I want to kiss you every time. Just because I kissed you once. But you- You are my wife now. And not because we are married. But because I want you to be. If these feelings- how scary they might be- is real love I will do whatever I need to keep them."

Lena looked at Kara open mouthed and stupidly nodded. "Did I break you?" Another nod. That made Kara chuckle and walk forward. She slowly grabbed Lexie from Lena, while the other woman just stared at her. Kara placed Lexie in her crib and walked back to Lena, who was looking down. So Kara lifted her head and said "Hello, wife. I think you should give me a morning kiss."

It's was like Lena unfroze. She still looked confused and shook her head "What- What is happening to you Kara- Why- Why are you lying?"

A crinkle appeared between Kara's eyes as she took a step back. She tilted her head and absolutely looked confused "Lena- Are- Are you alright?" 

Lena shook her head, and a bit too coldly asked "Why are you lying?"

Kara took another step back, since she got spooked by the coldness in Lena's voice. She shook her head after a couple of seconds of doing nothing "But I-I was declaring my love for you. What- Why should I be lying?"

The coldness in Lena's voice didn't leave "Why do you need to be lying?"

Kara's crinkle only grew deeper "Why do you think I am lying?"

"Because everybody was who said those words!" She practically yelled. Kara quickly looked at Lexie, who luckily was sleeping again. And with that she pulled Lena out of the room, with much counteraction from Lena.

When Kara closed the door she turned to Lena behind her and calmly said "Do you know the motto of our family? The El's?" Lena shook her head "El Mayarah meaning: Stronger Together," Kara looked directly in Lena's cold green eyes and said "That means I stay here because you are my family. The one I choose to have, understood? You aren't my blood. But I love you. And I won't go anywhere-"

Lena interrupted her "You will, they all do."

"But I am not normal. I never fall in that group. I won't leave you, okay?" Lena's gaze softened and the first thing Kara heard from her was a whimper as her whole body broke down. So Kara quickly rushed to her and held her. While Lena cried Kara whispered "I-I know you have lost so much, I have too. But- I will always be here. Always. I will be here tomorrow morning, the evening after that, the week after that and even seventy years from now. I won't go away. And no- I won't stay here because I need to, no I will stay here because I choose to. So my beautiful Lena, I won't leave. I won't go. You are the owner of my heart, the owner of my everything."

Some time later, when the cries suddenly died down Kara carried the sleeping Lena, since she fell asleep, to their room and laid her on the bed. Kara laid beside her and held her in her arms, while she slowly fell asleep.