Stardew Valley Sebastian x Reader

The Crush Chronicles - 21

Summer 10, Year 1

Sebastian's POV

I didn't want anyone to know I have a crush on Y/N because I plan on getting over it. It's obvious she doesn't like me. I'm not even saying that sadly anymore, it's just a fact I've accepted. But even if I know she doesn't like me and we cant be together, that doesn't mean the crush isn't there. Because it is. And it's there with all the things accompanying it.

I haven't had many crushes in the past, if that's not painfully obvious, so that means I haven't really experienced all the things a crush entails. Apparently, having a crush kinda really sucks.

The first thing I noticed is that I can't get her off my mind.

One minute I'm buying groceries at Pierre's because I was told to 'go outside every once in a while', (which, side note, I've actually been doing a lot more lately), and the next minute I'm thinking about if she would like that cool thing I saw on the shelf a minute ago as a gift.

When I'm at band practice with Sam, at first I'm going over those few measures of notes I keep getting wrong in the new song we wrote. Then, I start thinking about if Y/N would like the song. Then I'm thinking about what kind of music she likes, and suggesting to Sam writing a new song that I secretly think she might like better. Then, I'm wondering if she thinks a guy being in a band is nerdy or stupid and if she has higher standards than to be with a guy like that.

Or when I'm laying in bed, I imagine her arms wrapped around me... her hands running through my hair... then, she sits up and leans over, her kind eyes look down at me, her soft lips press to mine and... uh, yeah, I usually just stop that one there.

The second thing I noticed is that I'm... acting different? Or at least, I think I am. It feels like I am.

If I happen to be in a situation where I'm talking to her, I try to be cooler than I am to impress her. Of course, I don't know how to do that, so my mind goes blank or I completely embarrass myself with stupid words that I can't formulate ever. It even happens with texting! I end up coming up with some one-word response an hour after she texts me because I get nervous about what to say, writing and re-writing an answer.

I'm going out more yet staying in more at the same time. I go out to smoke more on the off chance that I might see her. I take Sam up on more offers to rehearse songs in case she's hanging out there, because I know she and Sam are friends. I let Maru drag me around, fetching supplies for experiments because I know that Y/N's been showing interest in Maru's experiments lately, and maybe I can strike up a conversation with her about that. But then again, I'm staying in more. When the doubt sets in, as it always does, I stay inside to avoid her. I cry into my pillow (pathetic) to comfort the knowledge that she doesn't like me and never will. I sit in front of the toilet after spending time with her, feeling like I'm going to barf after talking to her because of all the... the... what's the phrase? Worms in my throat? No, butterflies in my stomach!

The third thing I noticed is that I get jealous for no reason at all.

____

"You walk very slow, you know." Maru turns around and faces me, walking backwards.
I've just gotten a text from Y/N, and I'm trying to figure out how to respond.  The text says 'Hey, will you guys be holing another Solarian Chronicles game soon?'

I could respond with 'Hey Y/N, yeah, we will be. Do you want to come play again? Sam and I had a fun time with you.'

I could respond with 'Hi! Our next session is on Saturday. You should totally come again.'

But with the pressure of Maru pushing me to tell her what I'm doing on my phone, giving a good response, and giving a fast response, the only thing I can muster is 'yeah'. No capitalization, no punctuation.