From The Start

Chapter Thirty One ~ My Problems

Chapter Thirty One ~ My Problems

" Jenny: ..........You won't make that mistake anymore and no one will have to miss you and EXO won't have to lose a member. Be smart Sehun, there's other ways to look at it, you only gain experience and learn from your mistakes."

...Continued~~~

Sehun: Do you not understand that I caused a big problem?

Jenny: It's not your fault, it's (YourName)'s fault, it's her fault that she couldn't forget JaeHyuk..

Sehun: Yah! You can't blame her..

Jenny: for once, it's the girls fault, mostly it's the guys fault, it's all happened before, she has every right to be blamed..

Sehun: what are you talking about?

Jenny: i've been through so much, girls always like to pretend to be good but they're bad.. if it wasn't for this girl to lie to my boyfriend, I would have married him by now, we were in a perfect relationship but that girl made up false evidence that I was cheating on him. Girls aren't always the ones who are good.. why should you worry for her if it's her problem over JaeHyuk? Why are you putting yourself in so much pain?

Sehun: Her problem? if I love her, I'd help her with her problem. I love her so much that I'd put myself through it. You don't know the problems between me and (YourName). You haven't known me for your life, only part, and I get you understand part of me, but you don't know what really happened back then. I'm the one who left back then to China and left her alone. That's how we separated. Because of me.

Jenny: And you said she knew you liked her, if she liked you back, why wouldn't she tell you? If you knew she liked you already, you would know that you don't need to be famous or anything to get her attention or for her to like you. You would know that she likes you for you not because you're famous and population.

Sehun: stop blaming her, it's none of her fault, why are you blaming her all of a sudden, why are you taking all your wrath on her? If you have your own problems, take care of them before you can take on other people's problems.

Jenny: I'm trying to help you find the truth.

Sehun: more like trying take your revenge on girls.. okay if you're really going to do that, leave. I don't want to see you anymore. Actually no, I will leave.

Jenny: Why will you leave? Why don't you let her leave? It's her fault!

Sehun: ....Jenny.. get out of my sight now.

Chanyeol: Okay Jenny get out, I thought you were really there to help.

Jenny: If I'm leaving you're coming with me!

Sehun: you're crazy!

Jenny: I go is basically you going as well!

~ Sehun's Point of View~

Jenny took my hands and pulled me with her. We were just at the edge, she pulled me with her, down into the water, before Chanyeol can catch us from falling. Jenny dragged me down, even though she knew how to swim, she dragged me down, making sure I wasn't able to swim back up and save the two of us, but she was crazy, that's one thing I know for sure. Crazy. I panic but i feel at ease when I hear (YourName)'s voice. Is she there to save me? I do miss her, but I can't wonder how I'd leave her now. I don't want to die.. but I thought.. woudln't dying and living without (YourName) be the same? What am I thinking. Should I let myself die? This would only hurt (YourName) more, I don't want to see her cry every night in bed. But I don't want to see myself hurt her one time after another as she forgives me. What am I suppose to do? Even if we love each other, why is there so much problems between us? I only wish I didn't cause her so much pain, I wish I was better, to make her feel even happier than when she was with JaeHyuk. My job is to love her more, and show her how much better I am than JaeHyuk and make her realize how much she doesn't need that type of guy in her life, that she doesn't have to feel sad that she can't be with him anymore. I should make her feel proud that she is with me and make her happier than ever. I guess I failed that, I guess it was my fault. Am I going to break down now again? And let Jenny's thoughts get to me? To make me feel insecure? I really want to stop trying now and let Jenny pull me down till I die, till I won't feel anymore pain. Instead of swimming back up I swim down, with Jenny. Suiciding together but suddenly I feel a pull on my ankle, I see Jenny look back. I look back as well, I see (YourName). The love of my life who just came out from the hospital and not even fully recovered, trying to save the two of us from doing something silly. It struck me, why am I letting this get to me? Why am I letting go of my life when I still have the chance to change it? It was too late to realize it, too late to realize that (YourName) was more important than giving up my life, but now I had to breathe but I had no access to it. Now I had went to sleep.

~My Point of View~

My body becomes weaker and weaker, although I use to be like the best and always the first place winner in holding my breathe the longest under water. It's only been a minute when the longest I've done without a problem was about two to three minutes. It hasn't even been a minute yet, but I'm not yearning for air, more like yearning for Sehun to be fine and also yearning for the pain in my head to stop hurting. The pain is causing me to go dissy and for my sight to be unclear, but I try harder to focus to reach Sehun and Jenny, ignoring the pain, I take a good grip on the two of them and try to swim up but as I'm halfway there, my brain seems like it just shuts down. The water against my skin becomes warm not cold. It must mean that my body temperature is decreasing. Something is wrong, but i won't let it get the best of me, I continue to swim. I tried my best to just swim to the point Chanyeol's face was completely clear to me, where I was able to see the color of his eyes, where I was able to see him smile or frown. I finally saw Chanyeol's face, and I knew he saw Jenny, Sehun, and I. He jumped in the water, ignoring what I told him before.

~FlashBack, Happens right before (YourName) jumps in the water to save them~

Me: Yah! Oppa.. you can't go, you can't jump in okay? Promise me? I will go myself, I will save them, promise me

Chanyeol: but you're hurt! You're not fully recovered!

Me: Don't worry about me, I will be fine, remember I'm like the best swimmer ever? Don't forget that the best swimmer is your sister.

Chanyeol: but..

Me: Just this once. I don't want to see you go in there to save them from a problem I caused.

Chanyeol: Why do you keep thinking it's your problem? Jenny is just stupid..

Me: You can't blame her because she's my best friend, and it's only because it's true. Let me handle these things, I promise you I'll be safe for you.

Chanyeol: if anything happens, I'm blaming you. Do you even know how worried I am about you? Do..

I jump in the water, not allowing Chanyeol to finish his sentence but I knew what he was going to say, I knew what he wanted to say. Of course I knew he cares and worries about me, I did too. That's why I didn't want him to go in the water, I rather risk my life for him. He is the best brother I can ever ask for. So I won't let you down Chanyeol Oppa. I won't, I promise. I just need to take care of my problems I caused.

~Back to Current Time, End of Flashback~

Chanyeol grabs me in his arms, there I was mad that Chanyeol ignored what I said but also relief that he was there to save me, I knew he'd save Jenny and Sehun too but he didn't have like six arms to save them. Although I knew he couldn't, I gave up. I didn't fight back against the pain in my head and the coldness in my hands and feet. I let them take over me. As Chanyeol freaks out and calls my name several times, my eyes close. Now I, too, like Sehun, fell asleep.

...To Be Cotinued~~~

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