Chapter 18- The After Math

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Patrice's POV

The tears stream down my face as I run to my house. Everything he said to me was a lie. he was just waiting for the right moment to hook up with Maya. I feel so sorry for him. He was stuck with the hobbit loser girl so once Maya came he finally realized he had a chance to find someone better. That thought made the tears come down more. As soon as I reach my house I collapse on my bed. I'm so glad my mom went on another business trip because I'm not in the mood to talk to someone right now. Yet I'm so alone. After a while about thinking about how worthless I am, and how Evan was just using me just like everyone else, and now Maya obviously gets everything, I get up. I grab a red sharpie, and go into my bathroom and close the door, even though no one else is there. I write his name on my wrist and stare at in disgust. when I get what I need out of the cabinet I sit down and lift the razor to my wrist and slowly penetrate it into my skin. The pain hurts yet it feels so good. It's easy to ignore when I think about Evan. soon my whole right wrist is bleeding and I begin to cry again. After a while it dries and I wash away dry blood so the cuts are the only thing there, Evans name still clearly visible. I take a deep breath and crawl in bed crying.

Evans POV

I slide against my door of my bedroom. I shouldn't be the one sobbing. I'm the one at fault I shouldn't be crying. But I can't. I possibly could have just maybe a little kinda ruined my relationship with the girl I love. No I messed up big time. This could be really hard but I can't stop. I have to fight for what I love.

••••••••••••••••••••••••

(Next day before school)

Patrice's POV

I can barely get out of bed, but I have to go to school. I just throw on some black leggings and a white and blue Aeropostale hoodie. I put on grey uggs and brush my hair. I walk out the door, dragging my feet. Im on the verge of tears when I pass the maple tree, but I'm not sure why. Okay yes I am. He's not there. I trudge on to school. Alone.

••••••••••••

Evans POV

Patrice trudges into first hour. A smile lights up my face but then it quickly disappears. Then her eyes go wide. She looks down as she sits beside me. she grabs a book and turns the opposite direction. It breaks my heart. I look to my right and Brett is glaring at me. I ignore him.

••••••••••••••

Still evan.

I watch at the end of the hall as Patrice is silently crying while putting books away. She starts taking down pictures from her locker and puts them on the top shelf. I start walking towards her and when I'm 2 feet away I'm pushed against the opposite lockers. "What the hell is wrong with you!" Brett says. "What?" "You heard me and you know exactly what I mean!" he sad angrily. "How could you cheat on a girl as amazing as her! You knew I liked her, I would have owned her by now if I would have known you would treat her this way!" he says. "Shes not an item! No one owns her!" I say. "I swear you stay away from her or else!" "Why do you care so much!" I yell. "Oh don't play dumb with me! you know what I'm talking about and if I have to say it I will." he says. I glare at him. "Fine then! I like her! okay I like her! I haven't stopped since the 5th grade. there." I say. he walks away. and I look at Patrice who's standing there in shock. she locks eyes with me and then speeds off sniffling.

Patrice's POV

I avoid Evan The rest of the day. I sit alone at lunch and at rehearsals I be as fake as I can and ignore him. But i also have to avoid Brett. I can't look at him now that I know how he feels. I walk home from school and I hear foot steps behind me. It's obviously him. at first I'm kinda hopeful he'll say something, but then I remember he lives next door. I walk up my front steps. "Patrice." I hear his hoarse voice say. I stop in my tracks, and turn around to face him. His face resembles mine, Sorrowful, Red, splotchy, and there are dark circles under his eyes. "Can we talk?"he says, his voice barely audible. I nod. "but if were gonna talk, I'm talking, you're listening." I say.

We step inside. "Why did you do it?" I say. "Because I was forced into iT.' he says. "Why was she even at your house!" I say. "Because she had to tell me something really important!" "what was so important." then he tells me the unbelievable. "Shes your ex-girlfriend! why didn't you say anything!" i say. "You didn't tell me about Brett!" he retorts. "That's different!" "You're right! because he still likes you!" He says. "You know I don't actually mind it! Do you know how long people have hated me? it's nice to see someone actually caring! and that's not lying about how they actually feel about me!" I say. "are you saying you like him?" he says. "Alright you know what! Here we go: this breakup totally sucks! I don't like Brett but I'm not real fond of you at the moment! And I'm going to admit to you I really really liked having this special thing we have! And I'm losing that. I'm losing your trust and you're losing mine! I'm losing you comforting me at scary movies, which are actually my favorite because of that very reason. Or when I lock eyes with you and it makes me feel like we're the only 2 people in the world. I'm also losing the fact that someone genuinely cared for me. And now I'm back on my own. Maya's probably told Archie something horrible about me that will make him hate me forever. And I'm losing you. And you wanna know what the worst part of all this is?" I say. He's got tears streaming down his face and he doesn't say anything. "The worst part is that I was- wait no not was still am-" I stop. I don't know if I should say this. But I do " the worst part of losing all of this is that I'm in love with you." I say. I can't believe I actually said it out loud finally. The tears stream down my face. I sit down and bury my head in between my knees. "Patrice" he says softly. he grabs my right wrist since my hands are in between my knees. I scream out in pain. Uh oh. "Patrice what did I do? are you okay?"he says in terror. He grabs my right hand. and looks at my wrist. I look away. "Oh my god!" he says quietly. then he says it repeatedly louder and louder until he's screaming. He looks again. "Why would you do this to yourself! and what-" he looks up at me and a single tears falls down his cheek. "Is that my name?"he asks his voice hoarse. I look down. He drops my hand. He starts screaming. He bangs his head against the wall the falls to his knees and hysterically sobs. I tap his shoulder."Evan?" I say softly. he looks up at me and sobs more. it makes me start to cry. "No I have to get out of here! I can't cause you any more pain!" he says. "No stay!" I say grabbing his shoulders. he just sobs more. " I can't ever forgive my self for doing this to you! What if it could of led to something worse? what if-" he stops himself and sobs more. "Please never do this again! I can hardly live with myself knowing I caused you this much pain!" he says sobbing. I put his arm around my shoulder and carry him upstairs. I lay him in my bed. "Evan why don't you rest." I say. He doesn't complain and lies down and silently cries himself to sleep which makes me cry to. "I love you." I whisper but he doesn't hear. I sit on the foot of my bed and watch him and I know that what I say is true.

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