Liquid Courage

Night 012

I love seeing the city lights. I feel very refreshed because of the air I inhale everytime I’m on the rooftop. And it’s not because I spent half of my life there, no, that is not the case. I’ve only started going up there like six months ago.

So I am quite confused with myself right now. Why the hell am I feeling uncomfortable to be here again on my usual scene before everything turned upside down?

Maybe I have really changed. A lot.
If it is for the better, I am not really sure. Or for the worst, let us hope not.

Ten minutes have already passed (based on my calculation), and I am still here near the entrance gate of the university. Standing still. Thinking if I should just head home.

The greens are gone. And I believe that if you would look from above, you won’t see a lot of empty spaces. I am aware there were a lot of students in our university, but compared to the past year I’ve never seen it this packed.

Various stalls, booths and mini stages took over the field. Everything is just colorful and bright. Simple has no place in this fair, almost everyone went a little extra with their outfits.

Well, I really can’t blame my schoolmates. It’s the most awaited and once a year Christmas fair commonly known as “Paskuhan”.  It’s the time of the year where we can all vent out our stress in academics and even in our personal lives. We have lots of events in our university but this one’s the grandest, I know ‘cause I used to be in council and I have organized this for years.

For the nth time, I sighed.

Looking at the small board paper in my hand, I am comtemplating if I should just tear it into pieces. Fuck whoever invented Trigo, because of you I have to suffer all night. Why the hell did I fail half of my quizzes in that damn subject?

It’s the beer’s fault. Sometimes too much alcohol intake leads me to hours of sleep and no time for reviewing.

Okay, I know I shall be thankful because my prof was kind enough to give us extra points if we would just support Paskuhan. I am thankful, but I don’t know if I can do this.

Staring at the dart booth, the karaoke stage, the cotton candy machine and the grand Ferris wheel…everything just makes me feel so scared. Every single thing of them brings back memories to me. They were good memories but I’m so afraid to try them out alone for the first time. Without my best friend.

I know. I’m such a coward.

If it’s just one booth or ride I have to try, I think I’ll live. But the heck I have to try at least 10 activities in this fair! Or else I won’t get the plus points. And damn, I need them to pass that subject.

I exhaled. And exhaled again. Deep breaths will save me in this lifetime, as weird as it may sound. Deep breaths helps boost my courage bars.

So as much as I wanted to just run towards the exit gate, I stopped myself from doing so. With fake courage, I held my head high and headed on the nearest booth I could find.

Well, it’s not really the nearest. But it’s the least crowded one. Ring toss booth—it’s where you’re given plastic rings/hoops and you have to toss them and if you managed to shoot on one of the bottles, you will get a prize.

“Do you want to play?” asked the guy in-charge of the booth.

I simply nodded while looking at the prizes. I like the fact that all prizes here are food—either chips or some drinks. I even saw some alcoholic beverage. I wonder how the council managed to get a permit for it.

“You get three chances for only Php 30, the prize will vary depending on the color of the bottle where your ring lands into. The amazing prizes are on the red bottles, while the simple ones fall on the yellow ones,” he explained.