my loathsome lover (cherik fanfic)

chapter 14

"I was once told that walking through
a doorway could cause someone to forget
Even the most precious memories they had
Memories of good
Memories of bad
Memories of love and of loss
All tucked away neatly..." (find me, forest blakk)

"May I ask you something?" the telepath said, breaking the silence and pulling both of them out of their thoughts. They were slowly learning to coexist again - Erik with the new-found selfish version of his former lover and Charles with the one he still considered his greatest enemy. The metal bender just nodded for him to go ahead.

"When exactly did it change for you, our dynamic I mean?" Regaining his memories gave him another look at their past, which was filled with hateful words and revengeful actions. None of it seemed to suggest any sort of romantic attraction between them.

"I don't know exactly," was his first, rather lazy and not revealing any emotions, response. But the disappointed look on Charles' face made him reconsider. Maybe this could help to get him back. "My parents loved me, but they died when I was very young. Ever since then I was on a mission to get revenge and I never put a stop to it in order to care about someone - and then you pulled me out of that damn water and you offered me a home, a partnership. You reminded me of the happiest moments in my life. And suddenly I had to fight the urge to settle down and build something meaningful with you."

"Then how come you didn't?" the man responded with a sarcastic laugh. They both knew peace was never an option with Erik.

"I still believed revenge would make it better, provide me with some kind of conclusion," he answered honestly. "But it didn't. I sacrificed our relationship to the point of no return and yet I was left with the same kind of hurt I had felt before."

"I'm not convinced you won't jump on another revenge train if the possibility presented itself," the telepath maintained. "Was our relationship just the next best thing? Did you... settle with me?"

"Charles, no," he uttered in frustration. How could he make him understand that he was misguided, that he was chasing a revenge fantasy out of habit and out of fear? He used to be afraid of losing the people he cared about, but now he realised the good moments were worth the risk. And he would care about Charles no matter what. "I just wasn't mature enough to realise it was you I needed back then. I wish I could have let things go sooner. I'm sorry I didn't."

---

Erik and - to both of their surprise - Hank went on a drink together. The furry man had offered it once he heard about the latest revelations, especially when the Professor had attempted to kick the metal bender out of the school. "I'm surprised you actually came," he said.

"I'd never say no to a drink," Erik responded with a charming smile, "even if I'm forced to listen to your drivel the entire night." In the meantime they ordered their drinks and both went for something strong. "I trust you're not that fond of me either, so what is this truly about, beastie?"

"The Professor is clearly out of his mind and the one responsible is all good and well," Hank reciprocated his serious tone and came straight to the point. "Why the hell are you sitting still, Lehnsherr?"

"Why do you care? Everyone knows you're back to being his right-hand man, golden boy, so perhaps you might want to thank me?" Erik asked in return, then he suddenly started to chuckle.

"You always assume everyone's out to get you," Hank stated, letting out a tired groan. In Erik's mind, everyone always had a secret motive- Hank to eventually eliminate the Professor, and Charles to become famous. "But I wouldn't be here if that were true."