Black Rose

Lesson learned.

My shoulders started hurting first. Almost immediately, the bonds and the way I was holding my body up put pressure on them. It started as a slight ache, a stiffness to warn me that if I kept going, it would get worse. I tried to ignore the pain, knowing that if I were to give up and fall, Blake would surely punish me.

My wrists came next. It felt as though my joints were straining against one another, violently protesting about having to hold my whole weight in the air. It felt as though I was being ripped apart, my arms stretched out and broken as I dangled there.

It very quickly became hard to breathe. Holding myself up by my hands, my head was slumped backwards, obscured by my bound arms. The physical strain was starting to get to me, and I struggled to focus on my breathing.

I tried to think of something else, to distract myself from my pain, but it was unavoidable.

It got worse.

My core started throbbing, and I could feel my body creaking in protest. My joints were burning, and the dull ache across my shoulders had grown to an intense burning sensation. I tried to scream to vent some of my frustration and pain, but all that came out was a dull yelp.

I felt my finger slipping, and used all my willpower to hoist myself back up, and cling to the bar. I wouldn't let myself fall.

The pain just got worse. My whole body felt on fire, from my wrists to my toes, and I groaned and cried, knowing that I had to hold on if I didn't want to be punished.

Be strong, I told myself.

I started shaking, my arms quivering above me, my fingers desperately wanting to let go and be done with this torture.

What would he do if I did? What would he do if I gave up? Would his next punishment be even worse?

I doubted it. I doubted anything could be worse than this torture.

I was losing strength and willpower, quickly. My body was screaming at me to let go and give in, but still, I held on. I tried to think of something else, of Jordan, and home, but the pain was too much.

My fingers started slipping again, but this time I didn't have the strength to pull myself up.

From there, I had no hope.

I let go.

I braced myself for the impact of falling onto the tiles, but it didn't come.

I fell into water.

Warm water. A pool. I was so surprised that I froze for a second, just trying to understand that I was submerged.

Then the relief kicked in. I didn't have to hold myself up anymore, and my joints were throbbing, but free. The pain was bearable.

It was then that I moved to push myself to the surface, and the panic set in.

Bound completely, unable to kick, or paddle, I had no way to pull myself to the surface.

I tried wriggling my arms, to pull myself up, and I tried kicking my legs together, but it was no use. With the blindfold across my eyes, I had no way of even knowing which direction was up.

I tried to scream, to attract the attention of my rescuer, but my screams were stifled by the layers of tape and the endless water.

I had the thought then, and it hit me like a tone of bricks, crashing down of me, filling me with existential dread

I was going to drown.

I thrashed, and screamed, and tried to get to the surface, but the pool was deep, and I couldn't feel anything. Not the surface, or the bottom, or the walls. It was as though I had been dropped in the middle of the ocean, with no way of getting to the surface.

The water was slowing my movements, and my lungs screamed for air. I stopped thrashing, and tried to focus on not drowning. If I stayed alive for long enough, my kidnapper would return, and fish me out of the water. He didn't want me to die, did he?

But the longer I waited, the more scared I got. My lungs felt tight, and I was losing my willpower to keep holding on. An overwhelming sense of panic was taking over. I started thrashing again, twisting and turning, trying to swim to the surface.

But there was nothing.

My movements grew more and more sluggish, my head started throbbing. I could feel myself fading. In those final moments I prayed to the god I had been taught to fear since I was a child, and I begged. I pleaded that he would save me. That he would get me out of here, let me see Jordan again, and my family. I begged.

Then, finally, my body let go.

I don't want to describe what it feels like to drown. To try breathe and have your lungs flooded with liquid.

The truth is, I can't describe it. The pain, the horror, it's impossible to put to words. I wish that I could say that I blacked out, or that I don't remember, but I can't.

I will always remember.

The next thing I knew, I was coughing up air, blinking at bright lights. Blake was standing over me, holding a lump of black tape and just watching as I gasped in the air around me.

I didn't die.

It felt like I had, but I hadn't. I was alive. My head was throbbing, and everything was blurry, but I was alive.

My voice hoarse and weak, whispered a quiet. "Thank you."

I was never much of a believer, and it was my captor that pulled me from the water finally, but somehow, I knew that someone was watching over me. Maybe the god my parents had taught me to fear was more than just someone to be scared of. Maybe there was something else.

"You're welcome, my rose." Blake said, and I realised he must have thought that I was talking to him. After a few moments, he spoke again, his voice a dark mutter. "You're weak. I expected more from you, my rose."

I lifted my head slightly so I could look at him, anger ripping through me. "I almost died."

He rolled his eyes. "And whose fault is that?"

"Yours!" I cried, a lump rising in my throat. "You tied me up, and hung me up there like a piece of meat, then just abandoned me to let me drown. You're sick."

I felt a wave of nausea wash over me and let my head fall back again, exhausted. Blake was silent for a few moments, before he knelt down beside my head, and brushed a damp tendril of hair out of my face. "It was a test my rose, and tests are created for you to learn something. So tell me, my rose. What have you learned?"

I clenched my eyes shut, and set my jaw, not wanting to speak. Finally, mustering up as much strength as I could, I answered.

"I learned that you don't care about me and that I hate you for putting me through that. I will always hate you."

His face fell for a moment before his cruel mask was replaced. He stood, looked me in the face me one last time, then turned and walked away. I couldn't even lift my head to see where he was going.

The weight of everything that had happened was crashing down on me all at once and I closed my eyes, letting it all slip away.

The last thing I heard was Blake's final parting words. "I'll see you tomorrow, my rose."

Then I fell into the comforting folds of sleep.