Love Bites SugaKooki_14x & Xnishx_ot7x
Review by exodaddykokobop
IMPRESSION BEFORE READING
cover- not really appealing. try using a different type of picture maybe.
title- could be better? i mean, this one would draw much attention, but surely lacks originality.
description- gives an insight on what you're serving, so that's a good start.
AFTER READING
i was in awe with the way you write. for instance, the prologue was too good with the perfect mixture of anticipation and thrill- this was the only aspect that made me want to actually read your book.
then came the first chapter. i'll be very bold on this- it was all that typical high school drama type- your plot. i don't know what i was expecting, but most verily, not this. the flow and the areas of arrangement were good with humorous touch, but that was all. it just didn't click well with me.
FOCUSES
plot- too common a story plot for this site- straight As student, supportive friend circle, overprotective boyfriend, then comes the male protagonist who kinda has that charm on the female mc, thus courting her. it's a big no-no.
grammar- good. nothing stuck out of place, so we good.
writing style- your style of writing is beautiful and simple. it is perhaps the way you write that keeps the story flowing at a smooth pace. your choice of vocabulary is quite impressive too; though simple, it fits perfectly. your word placement is also good.
ADVICE
don't make things too easy going, you know. try to work out a different plot from the rest. give your story a voice to speak with a different perspective. there is no way you present the story that has flaws, it's just the component that you are talking about. be unique in your approach.
now, we all love clichè stories and stuff. but there is also a fine line between an overused plot and the regular ones. since you have one plot in mind and not much could be done, try altering a few scenes to make it look less like a copy-paste material.
give your characters flaws. now, no one really enjoys reading about Mary sue(s). they are more likely to feel one with them one they are given a chance to relate to them in levels of imperfection.
also, in places i saw you using hangul (romanization)- it looks really unprofessional. if you have chosen to write in english, stick with it throughout. do not switch lanes. sometimes, it's alright to use the basic terms such as "hyung", "noona", but try refraining from using other terms that could heavily influence your way of writing. also, many people may also not know the meaning of it.
ENDING NOTE
all the best for your future works. i'm assured with a little time and patience you'll get where you want to be. good luck!
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