Polaroids by HYUMILK
Review by exodaddykokobop
IMPRESSION BEFORE READING
title- parallels well with the story presented and is interested in catching the attention of the audience easily.
cover- simplistic and very pleasing to behold.
description- not bad but not too intriguing either. add a quote maybe to interest the reader.
AFTER READING
it was a quick and simple read. the chapters didn't stretch, so naturally, this was one of the factors that intrigued me immensely. the flow was well kept, so was the structure of sentences and chapters. your usage of vocabulary was very basic, and honestly, it was what made the story more comfortable to read and effectively picture the scenes, given the nature of the whole plot- well done!
however, there was one thing that was irritating to me, and when i say this, i noticed this into different places constantly- i'll highlight it on the advice section.
FOCUSES
characters- adorable. oh, how full of life and how drunk in love they were portrayed to be! it was mesmerizing, truly. they seemed well in touch with themselves and with each other, for that matter. it was a very impressive representation.
grammar- on point. honestly, nothing stuck out to be out of place, so it's all good.
ADVICE
now, for the section that i've been meaning to point. though it's nothing major, however, it still was unavoidable.
in every chapter, and in almost every paragraph you mentioned "her boyfriend" or "his girlfriend"- it seemed, i dare add, a bit irrelevant. so, instead of using the same terms on repeat, try an alternative approach. you could simply opt for "the lad/lass" or just write their names. repetition is boring.
also, just attempt to use a more innovative technique in introducing new vocals. this'll only be beneficial for your future storytelling, and make your readers picture the scenes portrayed in a more practical way.
ENDING NOTE
it was an amazing story and i would most certainly wait for future chapters to see their progression. all the best for your works!
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