colours // miyuki kazuya

avoidance [1]

This absolutely cannot continue!

You absolutely can't develop a feeling towards Miyuki Kazuya. At least not any further. There are so many stories about unrequited attraction you've read, and none of them ended well. It would be utterly gullible for you to dive into a conclusion that yours will turn out differently. Keep the heart locked away somewhere rather to put it out at the open.

"Damn you, Miyuki Kazuya." You closed your eyes, cursing under your breath, a quiet declaration of giving up, intended for you and yourself only. A firm resolution you needed to slap inside to your head, so that it didn't make strange scenarios with a certain catcher any longer.

Also a promise for your heart, that it will stay unscathed.

But that what's you thought.

You thought swallowing your feelings in, keeping it hidden on the top of the shelf will lead you to stop craving for the brown-haired guy's affection. But it's quite the opposite. Your desire just continues getting hungrier and hungrier.

Again, you absolutely cannot let that happen.

A flash of possibility visited for a second, telling you to confess based on a saying, "Do not fear failure, but rather fear for not trying" But then you proceeded to rule out every outcome of telling him the truth. And one of them was that it could ruin your friendship, you could easily lose Miyuki over your stupid, selfish not to mention, one-sided adoration.

And that, you think, is what you fear the most.

-

Day by day passed painfully, each day getting worse. The worst part about them was not even the part where you had to hold your feelings within, it was when you realize you've reached a point where your chest suffered from physical pain, and your stomach was constantly full by just a simple eye-contact.

It was no good at all, your feelings only become stronger with each day passed.

It was extremely no good at all, that you finally arrive at decision,
to avoid Miyuki Kazuya.

Morning came by.

You walked to your class, feeling rather under the weather. Sleep-deprived, people would guess, judging the bag under your eyes. It was the only result of thinking non-stop about Miyuki.

After what you felt like a long trip, you finally arrived at your class and went to your designated seat. You put your head on the table, looking to the side as you closed your eyes. It was rather relaxing, as the warm sunlight kissed your skin through the window. You stayed there, feeling comfortable.

A moment later, light tapping of someone's step seemed to approach. You did not make any effort to see who it was as you wished people would see the 'Don't bother' label above your head somewhere.

The step stopped right beside you.

"Ehh... sleeping so soundly this early in the morning, some nerve you got there," the awfully familiar voice said with a troubled tone, yet you still could hear his amused smile over that. The smile Miyuki often wear when mocking someone.

After that you felt a gentle caress on the side of your head, so gentle that if Miyuki didn't say anything before, you wouldn't have guessed his name until you knew there was a photographic evidence. You did not know Miyuki Kazuya kept hidden a gentle side of his.

That lit a warm candle inside your chest, knowing a new side of Miyuki, and an unexpected one at that.

"If you're sick then you should just stay home, idiot."

Though the choice of words were gruff, that it was just like him to say that, the sentence carried so much care, how he said it so subtly with his hand on your head and all.

You continued to close your eyes, pretending to doze off. He then drew back his hand, his steps growing further. To his own seat, you assumed as the class would start any time soon. You let out the breath you didn't know you've been holding.

Slowly, you brought a hand over your chest in attempt to calm down your raging heart, it beat so loud and so strongly that you felt like you memorized the rhythm it made on your hand. That you felt like if it beat any louder than that, the class would be able to hear it.

You recalled what was just happened.

What was that all about anyway?!

[a/n: have you liked someone so much that your chest hurt at the thought and the sight of them? I have.]