Hebetudinous | Mob Psycho 100 X Reader

3. Not So Sweaty Exorcising

 Hold up. Are those the cheese crackers laying on his spot? Bruh sound effect #2.

I don't want these, and I don't want these $1.50 crackers to go to waste either. Time to hunt down Mob.

I ran out the door so fast, Keemstar couldn't even try with me.

Here I come, Mob. I'm coming with these gross ass cheese crackers. I'm such a nice person.

. . . . .

I ran my ass out the door, searching far and wide for Mob. Each esper-mon to understand, the power that's inside.

It wasn't so hard to find him actually. His bowl cut really sticks out in the crowd. I sprinted up to him and grabbed his shoulder.

"Mob!"

"Oh. Hi (Y/N)."

I placed my one hand on my hip. "You forgot these cheese crackers, that really messed me up, this was a sign of our friendship, a start of something fresh, a delicious sweet treat, our baby, our life-"

"Ah. I'm sorry. They must have slipped out of my pocket."

"DID YOU JUST IGNORE THE OTHER THINGS I SAID?!"

"You weren't joking?"

HOW IS HE SO CASUAL ABOUT EVERYTHING? DOES THIS HAPPEN TO HIM ALL THE TIME? Gasp, is there someone like me? A clone? Bruh, that's some X-Games shit right there.

"Whatever, just keep those crackers with you. So you're meeting with your master?" I asked him, walking at a steady pace now.

"Yes, it's a job for me. Do you exorcise evil spirits too?"

I raised a brow. Evil spirits? Exorcise? I do keep myself quite fit. I never knew Mob was the type to work at a gym.

"Nah, I'm already so strong, no need for that. I also don't like sweaty people."

He gave me a somewhat confused look, well he kinda kept his same face, just his eyebrow is a bit raised.

"There aren't really sweaty people when I work though."

No sweaty people? At a gym? What kind of gym is this? I COULD GET BUFF WITHOUT ALL OF THAT DISGUSTING ASS SWEATING?! SIGN ME UP!

"Hey Mob, can I come with you? It sounds legit." I smiled. Soon I'll be able to take over the world, have people bow down at my feet. I'll make them erase cheese crackers and Starbucks off the Earth.

"Sure. Master will probably be interested in you since you're another esper."

I nodded. "Great, I'm so ready for this!" I pumped my fists up in the air. Mob gave me a slight smile.

. . . . .

"This is it." He said, pointing to some weird office. Is this like some Zumba class type of thing?

We stepped inside to only be greeted by some weird ass middle aged man. I got into my fighting stance.

"Stay back Mob, this could be a child predator! You stay away from us, I know 3 A.M rituals!" I swung my fists all over the place.

The guy looked generally confused. "(Y/N). This is my master. He isn't a child predator."

Oh.

"Is this a friend of yours, Mob? She seems kinda extra..." he mumbled the last part.

BRUH DID I JUST GET CALLED EXTRA?! WHERE THE HELL IS THE GYM ANYWAYS?! AM I BEING SCAMMED?

"I think she's my friend... she's an esper too."

Think? I mean, am I his friend? I did try to knock his ass out an hour ago. Maybe he is a bit dense. Unlike me of course.

"A-AH YES! I sensed her when she walked into the room!" he sweated a bit.

"You can sense me too? That's hella cool! Say, where is the gym here? Like when and where can I start benching without sweating?"

They both had very confused looks on while looking at me.

"(Y/N), this isn't a gym. I told you that we exorcise evil spirits."

Oh. I get it now.

"So you're telling me I have to be dead to exorcise my body? Bruh, you guys must make pennies if that's the business here. I just wanted to flex my cool ass muscles to beat ass wimps." I crossed my arms, pouting.

The man scratched his head a little. Does he got lice or something?

"Mob, is your friend.. a little uh.. d-e-n-s-e?"

He spelled out that word way too quickly. The fuck he just say about me? Probably spelled out dominant, I heard that D.

Mob shrugged a bit, watching me try to figure out what his master spelled.

"Look, we don't really have time for this, (Y/N), is it?"

"Yeah bro, what's it to you?"

He rolled his eyes a bit. "Reigen Arataka. I have to borrow Mob to go exorcise this very evil spirit, there is no gym here, I think you're meaning exERcise. Since you're an esper, just like Mob, and mighty me, would you want to come with us?" he asked.

What the hell does he mean it's not the same as the gym exercise? Wait a holy damn second. Exorcise... LIKE THE EXORCIST! BRUH SHE A REAL BIG UGLY! I WANNA SEE HER AND GET HER AUTOGRAPH!

"Count me in, chief." I saluted in front of him. Mob looked happy. Well I would assume he looked happy. He looks the same-

"Great!" Reigen grinned.