Letting Go

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Letting Go

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"Hindi mo naman na ito kailangan Cassandra! Its just there, laying in the attic. Ibigay mo na sa iba", yawyaw ni mama.

"But mom, may sentimental value yan saakin! I can't just donate it to others", maktol ko. There's no way i would be able to give away something that is a part of my childhood.

"Look, you used this. And you were happy using this years ago. Hayaan mo nang mapunta sa kamay ng iba. Napakanibanagan mo na eh."

"Let go of it, let others benefit from these toys", should i really? I mean Mom has a point.

****

"Cassandra, congratulations, you are Top 2 in your class!", a cheerful Maam Jessica greeted me the moment i go in.

Top 2? Why?... Wasn't i the highest honor in this class?

"Cass! Okay lang yan. Bawi nalang tayo next grading! But still you're top 2!", of course my supportive friend did not waste her time to uplift my mood. But nevertheless, i still feel disappointed.

Top 2? That's where all my efforts went?

I slumped down in my seat. Way to ruin my morning. Its not that im anything against these rankings, however i tried my best this grading. And i really expect myself to be consistent in the top 1 place. I should have secured my position well.

Sigh, now what will i say to my parents?

"Hey, there's nothing bad in going below down a rank. That's fine! There's still next time", no matter how Maam Jessica or even my classmates comfort me. Im still very sad of the outcome of this quarter.

"Just let it go Cass, this just means we both have to challenge ourselves next grading to achieve our goal!"

...

Yeah i should just let it go. Wala namang magagawa pa diba?

I'll do better next time.

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"Cass, im so sorry. I swear i didnt mean to. Its not my plan to betray you!", three weeks and 2 days of begging. She didnt gave up yet.

I gave her a cold shoulder, sobrang laki ng tiwala ko sa kanya. Itinuring ko siyang pinakamatalik na kaibigan for 7 years. Pero nababasag din lahat ng tiwala na iyong binibigay.

Di ko alam paano ko siya papatawarin sa ginawa niya, and she doesnt know how to make me forgive her too.

I said to her, na kailanman ay di ko hahayaang masira pagkakaibigan namin. Pero i can take words back too.

Pero ano pa nga ba magagawa?

"Leah,... I dont know what to do anymore. I just wanna let this go. Whatever happened... Lets just forget it. Its breaking the both of us, lets forget about this, shall we?"

Minsan, wala ka na ring magawa...

Hayaan mo na.

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"Chris, sabihin mo saakin. Kung nahulog ka na sa iba? May magagawa pa ba ako?", broken. I was broken infront of him.

He cheated. For months, he fooled me. Letting me believe he loves me. And at the same time, he's fooling himself.

He fell out of love. And he fell in love with another lady.

" Don't ask for forgiveness Chris, kasayahan mo yun eh. Hayaan na naten. Let go of this relationship. Di mo ginusto mahulog sa kanya? Di mo ginusto na i cheat ako? But your heart did chris. Kung di mo ginusto, bakit mo nagawa?

Iba ang takbo ng puso sa iyong isipan. Pero at the end of the day, kailangan mong pagisahin ang desisyon nilang dalawa.

"Let's not fool ourselves anymore, we're not meant for each other Christian. Pinagtagpo lang tayo, pero hindi tayo itinadhana"

To let go, is to accept not all things are meant for you.

" Cass, akala mo ba mahal mo ako? Please lets fix this. Please. Please Cass, i beg you", im sorry love. Buo na desisyon ko.

"I did say i love you, and i really do. Pero i can take my words back. Chris, di mo ba naiintindihan? Wala ng destino ang relasyon naten. Hinding hindi mo mababago kung anong nilalaman ng puso mo. Chris, I beg you. Go back to her!"

To let go, is to take back words. Leave them in the past.

"To her? But i dont want to Cass! You gave me happiness for the last 3 years of our relationship! You're the only reason my life became happy! Cass, what if thats just infatuation to her? What if thats just a short period of time of admiration? I know please, i know i love you. That's just a mistake!"

Dont make this hard for me love please. We both know that's not a mistake. That was meant to happen.

" Chris please, just treat her better than you did to me. Love her better than you ever did to me. Do better as a man for her more than how you became a man for me"

To let go, is to pass it on to others. Let others benefit from someone/something that you will no longer be happy with.

"Love, can't you see? You'll be genuinely happy with her. Its time to let another woman receive love from you. A woman who'll be happy with your presence. Im letting you go, for the both of your happiness and benefit."

To let go, is to wish him well.

" Are you really just gonna disregard all of our memories? Remember our promises? The wishes? Remember the memorable trips? Cassandra, are you really willing to forget all of those? Cause im not Cass, di ko pa kayang bitawan ang mga iyon."

"Alam mo Chris, minsan may mga bagay talaga na dapat iwanan sa nakaraan. Thats enough of that. Tama na, look at your future. Lets just leave all of those kung nasaan man yun please. Tama na."

Kahit anong pilit ko, he wont let go.

But to let go, is to not stay in the past. But instead to look forward.

" Goodbye, Christian. Be happy without me, my love"

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Letting go; it scars you to leave memories in the past doesn't it? Pero are you really letting go for good? O sadyang gusto mo lang iwanan na ang lahat at hayaan ang mga ito dahil sobrang sakit na?

Letting go means to not forget but leave everything behind. Let it be. Letting go is to accept that things may not be the same forever. Letting go, is to get hurt, but to promise yourself, it does better for what the future had set for you.

-END-

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