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     Casually fucking realizes that though I'm surrounded by friends and family I have no true support system because everyone I ever have tried to vent to ends up turning my feelings on my and telling me how I'm feeling makes them feel bad and therefore they deserve some sort of apology.

and also because I have no support system and don't know what someone being there for me really feels like
I don't know how to help others when they come to me for support so I further cement my place as a shitty person because, "why can't you express any sort of valid respond to this dude?? Your my friend I need your support here!"

But I don't know fucking HOW to comfort someone, I try but I don't even have a real group of people I can go to or anything because I'm too scared to share my problems with them because that gives them the complete power to fuckin destroy what little faith I have in myself left.

I literally do not know what do fucking do with this shitty relevation of mine but hey what else can I do other than accept it