Beyond Return

The End

I can't take it anymore. I am beyond return from sanity. These thoughts are too much too handle!

   My brain no longer thinks about simple things, like goals for my life, or when I should visit family again. They were replaced with whispers about bloodlust and murder. Each life I took, the more I wanted to take from others. I have realized this too late, but I have created a solution. Now all I need is to get Damien and Jack into the living room.

“Jack, Damien, can you come into the living room!” I yelled throughout the house.

 The pair waltzed in and Jack cheerfully asked,”What’s up lass?”

“Could I ask why you turned me into an emotionless murderer?"

“We were trying to save you from the prison of your conscience.” Anger boiled up inside of me, and after thinking for so long about what I have become, I snapped.

“My mind is not a prison. I do not belong in society, I have become a cold blooded murderer. I've never wanted to become one of you. The endless whispers in the back of my head have thoughts of bloodlust. During every social interaction I made, there were always those terrible thoughts. My longing for authority brought me to this very moment. What about my family? If they figured out who I really was, or what I have become, they would disown me. Maybe even give me over to the authorities! Instead, I would be a feared human being. What would others say now. My hunger for power has driven me to insanity, and you both caused it. "

“Leilah, you are doing the world a favor. Since you are helping us get rid of all those terrible human beings, you are helping innocent people."

“No. You made me torture and kill that innocent girl. She didn't deserve what I did to her, I felt no remorse, no sorrow for what I had done. That girl had a family, a life worth living, but I cut it short. Some of the others who were killed could have changed their lives."

“You know that there was no hope for those people. They were practically asking for their lives to be ended. Their lives were wasting away, nothing could be done. You knew that those people didn't want to change, or fix their lives. They thought that after hitting rock bottom, there was no chance to recover.” Damien boldly said.

  I want to feel emotion or anything else. The only thing that I feel right now is emptiness. I know what I had done was wrong, but no emotions are associated with these events.

“I want to forget.”

“What?

“I want you to wipe my memory to when I never knew you two. I know that is a power of yours, so use it."

“Why would you want that?” Damien said confused by my request.

“Hurting myself won't solve my problem, and I could make a difference in the world if I try hard enough. My mental state would not allow me to live a regular life in society. I would be trapped with my thoughts, memories, and the whispers in my head. If you get rid of those memories, than I could live the rest of my life in peace. Yes, this is something that you probably don't want to do, but I think it's better than having me knowing about my horrible deeds that I committed in the past and then deciding to hurt myself. You have no way of changing my opinion, so if you want to say something, say it now."

“To be honest, you seemed alone and this was the only way we could help you. Our goal was to make you a killer, but I didn't expect you to realized what we actually changed about you."

“I never expected you would think of a solution like this. That is the reason why we chose you. Your very smart and you did do what we wanted, but I especially didn't expect such an adverse reaction from you."

“I wouldn't want to drag this any longer than it has too. How about we make a deal?” I exclaim, wanting to get this conversation over with.

Wow, I'm making a deal with a devil, something that I have always been told is a terrible thing to do. Oh well, here we go!

"In a few years, if I am still alone and I am in almost the exact lifestyle as before any of this happened, you can come back and restore my memories. Then we can live for however long a demon lives with each other.”

“You are just willing to do that almost right away? I think that seems like a pretty solid deal, right Damien. "

“Yeah, that sounds interesting.” Damien responds while running his hand through his hair. He looks over at Jack and nods. I didn't even say goodbye.

  A bright flash of white light fills my vision and I wake up in my bed.
 
  ‘That was some nightmare.’ I thought. The phrase,’beyond return’ was playing in a loop in my head. I remembered my dream and it seemed that I was beyond return from insanity, but I seemed just fine. I don't remember why.