WitchBite

Swimming

A/N: Not entirely sure, so to be on the safe side, I'm throwing a TRIGGER WARNING right here. So just be warned that some of the stuff in this chapter is pretty heavy... ENJOY ^_^

 Am I falling? I don't feel like I'm falling... And yet... There is definitely a downward feeling. A direction I am heading, but slowly. Like I am floating or falling through water. Yes... That's it... That must be it. I definitely feel a drag, thicker than air, a muted rushing around my ears and a strange moistness is ever present on my skin and tugging at my clothes. But I do not feel a sting at my eyes, and my lungs do not burn for air. I must be very deep down, for it is a black, shapeless void in my vision, yet I see myself just fine. My fingers lazily drifting against the drag of this... water? My clothes lift gently, anchored in place by my body and various limbs. I can feel the slight tickle of whatever this is, carding itself gently through my hair.

I consider trying to swim once or twice. An energy awakening in my legs and arms, itching for movement, itching to do... Something. But no... I am quite... contented, just to fall, or float, or sink. Whatever it is I am doing, I feel a blissful nothing here. Not quite total comfort, save for the ever present near-weightlessness that was quite relaxing, but I wasn't uncomfortable. I felt safe. Unburdened by my mind and whatever horrors it would usually conjure. In fact, I felt a slight confusion at the idea of thinking about anything really. It was like I could feel the energy powering the cogs of thought, raring to go, but also a distinct lack of motivation to do so, and I couldn't decide whether it was nice or not.

Pleasantly confused, I suppose is how I would describe it if I were to give it some thought. I was sinking, and okay with it. Which is a strange thing to think about. Which is also something I didn't think about. I didn't want to. It didn't matter.

That's a question isn't it? What does matter? What is matter? Physics would know. Science always know. No. I should know.

My arms twitch.

I do know. I know what matters, of course I do. It's... What was it again? Or was it who?

I find myself furrowing in confusion. Something new had entered my attention as I gently slipped down wherever I was, and I found myself questioning... Had that light always been there? Can I have it? It seems so far away, and I've done nothing but fall it seems, can I really be bothered to put in that effort?

My legs kick. Was I shaking the aches from my knees, or did I do that in an attempt of some kind of movement other than just... down?

My jaw clenched, in a rather alien streak of determination, or was it anger? I'd almost forgotten, but no matter. I wanted that light. I should have it, I've grown quite bored of this darkness, of this falling or sinking, or whatever it was I was doing.

I find myself kicking, my arms beginning to pump and grasp. Spreading my fingers in an attempt to get some form of traction, this place was so disorientating I wasn't sure if I was making progress or not, but I certainly wasn't falling as steadily as I was before. Why did this feel so familiar to fighting? I don't remember fighting or what it felt like, and yet that word seems right.

Suddenly I was angrily pushing myself towards this light. I could feel its warmth from here, and it was strange to feel such a thing for I didn't know I felt cold until I felt its light upon me.

Aramis... Aramis!

I'm reaching harder now, kicking faster. My lungs are starting to burn like the last of the breath I didn't know I had was squeezing from my body. A purpose was pulling me closer and harder, I had to get back to Aramis. He needed me. I needed him. It was strange that of all the things that were flooding back to me, this beautiful man; the sharp angle of his jaw, the sprinkling of facial hair stuck to his chin, that damn, light-bringing smile of his. I'm not sure why, but something resonated within me that I was fighting for this man. Was I a gladiator and he my Dominus? Or maybe I was a body guard protecting my charge? I don't know what I was fighting, but it felt as stubborn as gravity. Slowly, but sternly, burrowing and pulling at my joints, grinding at my limbs as they screamed in exhaustion.