FADED DREAMS

Get It Together!

"You what?" Quintus shouted.

"I couldn't help myself, Quin. I couldn't walk away with her believing our time together was only a dream," Bash replied.

"No! Of course, not! You simply leave the poor girl, not only to discover she's been in a relationship she didn't know really existed, but also, to learn the existence of vampires with no one there to help her through the shock!"

"Well, when you put it that way—" Perhaps Bash hadn't considered it all the way through, but it was too late to go back.

"I'd hoped I taught you more respect for humans!" Quin ran his hands through his short blond hair in frustration.

"I respect humans!"

"What you've done shows little respect and even less self-control, Bash. Act your fucking age!"

There were few that could talk to Bash the way Quin did and live to tell the tale. Bash was ancient, but Quin was even older. Quin and Bash had gone through the ages together. While they were the best of friends, their relationship was more than that.

Quin had taken Bash under his wing when the newly made vampire was abandoned by his two-bit sire. He became his acting sire in Sebastian's sire's place.

"Humans are our food and without them, we'd starve. Respect is the least they deserve. You know I don't approve of your hunting humans to begin with. We're past that. There are humans aware of our existence and they volunteer to let us feed. If you'd listened to me and fed off a donor, you wouldn't be in this mess!" Quin continued to rant.

"We can't all feed without excitement like you do, Quin. Do you think I meant to fall in love with her?" Bash asked rhetorically.

"I warned you to walk away sooner, Bash! I knew the moment you stopped having an interest in feeding on other sources, that you were in over your head. But did you listen? No!"

Bash rolled his eyes and threw himself onto a plush chair in their sitting room as Quin paced in front of him. He sighed in defeat.

"You're right! Is that what you want to hear? You don't understand what it is to fall in love. You've never been in love. It makes you a bloody idiot!"

Quin stopped pacing. "You were aware the pact we made would never allow you to continue seeing her. So why did you risk it? Why did you risk falling for her?" His tone softened, and he took a seat on the couch next to Bash.

"I don't know. My emotions for her developed too quickly. I've never been in love before. The feeling is more intoxicating than anything I've ever experienced. I realize I should have stopped, but I've never felt such a lack of control. I watched her nightly. On nights I didn't visit her, I'd track her until she got home. And even then, I'd stay near her apartment and listen until she fell asleep. She's the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on." Bash's resolve visibly weakened as he reflected on Gaia.

Quin was right, of course. Bash had left her in a horrifyingly vulnerable place. But he had to stay away. Margaret had taught him what happens when a vampire grows too attached to a human that they don't intend to turn. Bash hadn't even been "in love" with Margaret. He loved her as family, like a sister or a daughter. To watch her age and die was sheer agony.

Bash perceived he would never be a good sire, and he resented being turned for a long time. He could never condemn someone as his sire condemned him, even less someone he loved. Margaret had asked, begged even, for Bash to turn her. He couldn't do it. Not when their kind was in constant danger.

"I see you think I don't understand, Bash, but I do." Quin sighed. "We both have our reasons for not siring, but I expect we both recognize the biggest reason is the immense responsibility that comes along with it. I understand it's difficult to put aside your instincts and desires and consider what's best for the human. How do you plan on fixing this?"