I'M IN LOVE WITH MY MOTHER'S BOYFRIEND

Judgmental Chapter Two

 When I woke laying on my bedroom floor I grabbed my purse under the floor bored of my bed packing two shirts and two pares of jeans. Slipping my wallet into I hidden pocket of my purse with my phone and other necessity’s that I want to take with me I left my room and quietly went out of the front door of my house and drove my truck back to the lake. Well that’s where was planning to calm myself down until I realize I made myself back at the centre for disorder people that I ran out of just earlier today.
I sat in front of the building my brushed face buried into my hands as I try and hide drips of teats escaping my eye’s.

What did I do to make her hate me so much? And why doesn’t she love me anymore? I think to myself leaning my back against the wall of the building while rocking my body back and forth to calm myself down from wailing and bursting into teats making a complete ass of myself.

“Jenna? What are you doing here I thought you were at home?” a vice that sounds like Jordan my mom’s boyfriend asks.

“that’s not my home, at least not anymore” I say quietly while clutching my purse, sinking my head further into my lap and my face now completely buried into my face. I could feel my body shake like I was having a stroke or something.

“what do you mean ‘not you home anymore’ what happened?” he asks in a concern voice. Sniffing I then say
“like you care, what are you even doing here anyway!” I yelled the last part as I jester to the build I was leaning against.

“I’m the new leader of this place. The other one left saying he was in able to help out a patient here that got everyone to believe something quite true” he says with honesty in his voice.

“yea, and what’s that?” I asked curiosity getting the better of me.

“ there disorder was no illness but themselves, in this case there emotions” he said with admiration in his voice. What he says kind of reminds me of what I said today before I stormed out of the building. I wonder if he knows it’s me. Or maybe he really is talking about someone else.
I used to tell mom all the time when I was younger as we used to pass people with a shopping disorder that it wasn’t an illness like mom put it out to be, but it was a way to help cope with there emotion (A/N that’s where the mom learned it from making her boyfriend believed that it was Jenna mother that stood up for these people with disorder when it was actually Jenna all along) Jordan offers his hand for me to take and I gladly take it.

“so what is it that I hear that you no longer have a home?” Jordan asks. I could see his shock in his eye’s as he sees my cheek bruised. “Jesus what happened to you? Who did this to you?” he says gritting his teeth.

Should I tell him? No I shouldn’t because it may seem like I’m trying to take him away from mom and that would bite me in the ass. Would he even believe me? No you no what it doesn’t even matter I’m just not going to tell him “Nothing, no one I just tripped I better get going” I say while running to my truck and drive to the lame that I will now be staying at until I have enough money to afford my own house.
Should have I told him? Should I have asked him for help? No what I’m doing is the right thing it’s better to be independent so I don’t have to worry if anyone will screw things up for me, I only have myself to blame

(Jordan Pov)
I went into the building to talk to my boss about the employee who just quite his job earlier today because some girl said that the people in this building didn’t have any illness it was there emotions every human has. I was shocked at what I heard, maybe that theory was true in some cases. Instead of shoving pills down your child’s throat why not try to be a better parent? See that exactly why I like Lora  (A/N if you didn’t know Lora is Jenna mom) she at least try to figure out her child and unlike others think that instead of the child taking medicine the parent she step up there part and figure out why there child is the way there are without stepping on any boundaries. Which is hard I know but if they can’t do it why become a parent in the first place? Being a parent wither being a father, mother, aunt, uncle, or whatever relative you must always be prepared for the challenges ahead when raising a child. What confused me about Lora was that even though Lora before I had ment her drank how is her personality so charming? I had to get her to stop drinking once I found out she had a child named Jenna. When I first seen Jenna I knew something must of happened to her on the past either it had something to do with her mom drinking or the disorder groups previous leader. But whatever it is I’m about to find out and with in all my power help Jenna become her true self. I’m not fixing her no anything but that, I’m just trying to help Jenna heal bit by bit. Isn’t that what any sane human would do?

Anyway the first time I had ever truly meant Jenna was this very day early in the morning while I just got a call from my boss saying a patient ran out of the disorder clinic and the leader quite. I knew right then an there that Jenna was one of the patients and i want to find out truthfully why? Jenna ran into me and I started up a conversation with her. Everything was going smoothly that is until I mentioned her mother, the very girls mother who I am dating who I had thought would at least tell her daughter that we were a couple but I guess not. Why didn’t her mother tell of our relationship, why did Jenna asked like I was one of her mothers ex boyfriends out for revenge? And lastly why was Jenna so sceptical of talking about her mother and even said and I quote ‘just consider me not as her daughter’? Later on in that day after Jenna ran off and I was at there come snuggled up with my girlfriend Lora.  Jenna came home, her mother was still on my lap but kindly offers her daughter to sit next to me but for some reason she anxiously declined. I had asked Lora a few questions about her daughter, why her daughter acted the way she did, why she was one of the patients at the disorder clinic, and lastly what happened to Jenna to make her not want to be around her? But Lora said nothing and instead blew up at me saying that I was thinking of her as a bad mother an she is trying the best thing she can for her daughter. She then kicked me out of the house slammed the front door. I decided to let her calm down for the day and go stop by the clinic that’s when I heard sobbing noise coming from the side of the building. And there she was non other then Jenna her hands covering her tearful face, and her head resting her her lap that is pulled against her chest, clutching onto her purse.

When I had asked her what she was doing back here and not a home she said something that shocked me severally that I still can’t get out of my head. ‘what home?’ when I helped her back up i seen her cheek covered in bruises her neck, and I assume her while body must be covered in bruises. When I tried to ask her who did this to her she didn’t answer and instead adorable ran to her quiet truck and drove to who knows where, I knew from the direction she was driving off to she was going anywhere but home. What happened to Jenna and will she come back to the disorder clinic tomorrow? She is one of my parents now and I can’t just forget about her weather if she is my girlfriend Lora daughter or not. I’m going to find out what happened to Jenna no matter how long it takes.

(Jenna pov)
I have no choice but to go back to the addiction centre. If I don’t I’d be abandoning all thoughs people and besides I do not trust Jordan if anything go’s wrong I know that the people emotions would go over the roof.
Getting into my truck and driving off to the addiction centre a lot of thought cross my mind. Would he be able to help all thoughs people? Would I be able to stop him if anything go’s wrong? How will the people take to having a new leader? How will they cope with there emotions? And lastly how would I be able to cope with the change. When I stepped into the building the air conditioning hit me in the face and my long blue lock’s flew into my face. Lifting my hair with my hand and pushing my bangs back I continue to step into the build, and open the door to the disorder gathering. ‘No one was here yet well that’s the first’ flopping into my chair I dig into my purse and go on one of my favourite reading apps watt pad. There are a lot of really good authors on this app and I’m totally obsessed with there books. Because of reading I have learned new things and it is one of the things that help calm me down from my anxiety, just reading the happy or entertaining part if the book shuts down my depression and makes me all giddily.  But as quickly as thoughs feelings left the quicker they came, Jordan is now in the room sitting in the leaders chair and looking right at me. I pretended I didn’t see him and continue reading however all my alerts of his presence stopped me from reading and further. I turned off the app and instead put my earphones in my ears, plugged them into my phone and listen to ‘breath me—Sia after the song is finished people came poring into the room sitting in there assigned chairs all of them looking at me as if I were the leader and not Jordan who sits in the leader chair who apparently was still looking at me. Does he ever stop staring?  It’s not that I mind but he might give me the wrong signals and I don’t want to go through that all mom’s boyfriend wants to make her jalousie by flirting with her own daughter thing. Maybe that was one of the reasons mom grew to hate me? But its not like I wanted to evolve myself in her mess it’s just that I was forced into it without even doing anything. Taking out my earphones after pausing my music that was playing another song called ‘this is what a broken heart feel like—Marina Lin’ Jordan clears his throat and the people’s gaze left me to him.

“Hello I’m your new leader today, I know it’s a sudden change but I can assure you all I’m way more competent then the last. My name is Jordan Matthews and I’m a construction worker, just like you guys I have a disorder as will. Can anyone of you guess what it is?” says Jordan while he pointed his index finger at a man in the far back of the circle.

“I’m Kentwood Crawford, a employee at Stair trucks that sells trucks to people who are just starting out with learning how to drive. And I’m guessing your disorder is an attention disorder” when Kentwood says this the whole room hurts into laughter including me, and I never used to laugh before. Kentwood Is one of my friends I know very well who actually understands me. Because of him I got the truck that is now my temporary home until I can afford a real house. He is kind, funny, smart, and carastic. But he also is very protective, mess with him and you’d be lucky if you make it out if his grasp with your life. Kentwood has brown messy hair he is eighteen years old, smocked blue eyes, and his muscle fescue complements his trucking attitude which is very serious, quite and besides friendly he can be quite intimidating if needs to be. Kentwood and the whole room goes quit once Jordan starts talking once again
“very funny Kentwood but not quite. You see my disorder is called OCD, which means I like things to be tidy my way and I fidget with items in my hands. OCD isn’t just based off that stuff there are more saviour cases of OCD but in my case it’s just being a clean freak and a fidgeter” everyone didn’t speak a single word because most of us knew people with that horrid case of OCD. We may consider Jordan lucky to only have a mild disorder but in his case he was not. There is more to his disorder that he is letting on and I know for a fact that it’s not just me who discovered that fact. One all of the people in the circle introduced themselves and there disorder there eyes fell onto me.
“Hi I’m Jenna Hazel, and like my dear friend Kentwood first claim of Mr. Jordan having an attention disorder which I’m glad he does not, because I Jenna Hazel have this disorder. It’s nothing to make fun of because there are different cases of this disorder. The one Kentwood was referring to was not actually a disorder just a person who wants all eyes on him or her. I will not dwelve further into my disorder because it is not something I’d like to involve you all in. Especially since these are my feelings and I’m not very brave to share my pain” I say in a calming voice and the whole room claps.
“Jenna this place is for naming your disorder so I *cough* we could help you heal” interrupts Jordan.

“and why would I do that to people I do not trust? Don’t you remember everyone that our disorder is our own feelings, and should not be taken lightly. I’m glad all of you are brave enough to announce yours unlike me. But this is my choice and until I’m proven wrong about not being able to trust then I’m sorry Mr. Jordan but I will not be going around an spreading all my emotions around. This is not some interrogation or some hospital that asks you ‘dose this hurt?’ well news flash we all have messed up lives and yeah it hurts like hell and besides you still kept some stuff from us about your disorder so why should any of us tell someone who doesn’t even trust us. In order to trust someone trust yourself first. But when you make someone trust you when you don’t trust them isn’t right” I said with a huff and Kentwood sensing my rant got up from his seat lifting me off my chair while caring me out of the room as I continue to talk complete nonsense.