Can You Hear Me?

Can You Hear Me? Pt.4

You're fairly certain by now Johnny can hear how loudly your heart is beating. This boy just confessed to you. Confessed! And not like the typical boy, the "I think I like you " confession. He went straight for the l-word. The BIG l-word. 

On the other end of the bond, Johnny was currently having a mental breakdown. "Omg omg I'm so stupid. It's too early. She can't possibly be in love with me right now. She's only really known me for a few days. Even though I've known her for months, I shouldn't have said that...I shouldn't have put that pressure on her..." He aggressively scrubs his hands across his face and into his hair, making it stick up in all angles. 

In midst of his freak out, you got waves of anxiety and fear coming down the bond and pieces of his thoughts, "so stupid" and "shouldn't have put that pressure on her." Your heart aches for him and to give him a hug to calm him down. Finally you speak. 

"Johnny, you aren't pressuring me at all and that wasn't stupid. You were brave. That was so incredibly brave."  You tell him, hoping to lighten his heart. Your voice grows softer with your next set of words. "A-and I think I love you too. I-I mean I don't really know what love feels like but I think I'm feeling it for you. J-johnny... I love you too." 

Your heart feels as though it could burst out of your chest at any moment but you also feel so light and bubbly after saying those words. I love you. They just felt right. They rolled off your tongue so easily you realized. Like you were meant to say them to him. 

"Y-you do? Y/N, you don't have to say it just because I said it. Also I'm sorry if you heard my freak out and-" Johnny goes on talking nervously and you cut him off again to derail his bad thinking. 

"Johnny shut up,"  You say in the nicest way possible. "I love you. I love you Johnny Suh. I'm not saying it because I felt pressured, I'm saying it because I realized I do love you.. I also didn't hear your freak out, only pieces and some feelings." You tell him gaining more confidence in your feelings. You smile brightly in this feeling.

Johnny smiles equally bright, making his cheeks and eyes scrunch up all cute like. "She said she loves me. She loves me!" He says out loud, breathless and not quite believing it. His heart pounds loudly and skips a beat when he keeps replaying your confession in his head. Ugh how badly he wanted to kiss your face. Your cheeks, your forehead, your temples, your lips. God he wanted to just see you and tell you in person. To hear it off your lips in person.

After that day, those three words started and ended each day... and basically every other moment too. Soon the days turned into months and you and Johnny became even closer. You would consider him one of your best friends and him the same about you. Despite being fated to be together, Johnny was the type of guy you could see yourself dating if there weren't such a thing as soulmates. He was everything you ever wanted in someone and more. He was just all around an amazing human being. You got along so well with him and it never felt forced. It was as easy as breathing. You couldn't wait until the day you could tell him that in person. 

Soon the air turned colder with the middle of winter approaching. Which also meant finals but also finally the chance to see your soulmate. But it was hard to focus when in the back of your mind all you could think of was how you would finally see Johnny soon. The excitement made you giddy and you could hardly stay seated for very long. 

"Y/N, aren't finals soon?" Johnny asked one day when you were trying to study but were failing miserably so instead you were watching more of his YouTube videos to see his handsome face to distract you. 

"Yeah like I have one tomorrow and some in a few days. But I just can't focus since I get to see you soon and I'm so worried for my test tomorrow. So to distract myself, I'm watching some of your videos." You reply back. 

Johnny makes an unapproving humming noise. "Umm... baby as much as I love that you're watching my videos, I care more about you focusing on your finals. You're so close to being done and I don't want anything to happen to your grades. I would be crushed if I was the reason why you didn't do as good as you should have on them. I'm not going anywhere so you just focus on your finals, ace them, and before you know it we'll be together. Or else I'll stop speaking to you until finals are over." He threatens with a light laugh. 

You pause the video. "You wouldn't dare." 

Johnny clicks his tongue, "Oh watch me baby. Your education is far more important to me than the views on my videos or talking to you for hours when you should be studying. We have forever together. We can talk then." 

Sighing, you close your laptop with a soft click and push it away from you. You know he's right. "You're right, you're right. I'm just so jittery, I can't sit still to study. I'm so worried for it tomorrow."   Putting your computer away, you reach for your notes to study. 

"Who said you have to study sitting down? Some people that may work for. Since you're jittery, walk around while you study or put up sticky notes on the walls and walk around reading them. That's what Taeyong does because he always has to be moving. He cannot sit still or stand still. Not for the life of him. Sometimes when he's forced to be still, he looks like he's malfunctioning because then he jerks around all weird." Johnny says laughing a little at the vision he got of Taeyong malfunctioning. 

You also chuckle at the thought of Taeyong "malfunctioning". He always seemed like a quirky, funny guy in Johnny's videos. You were excited to meet them too, if they were going to be around for Christmas break. 

"That's a good idea. I've never thought about that. I do always get a ton of anxiety and nervous energy before tests..."  You pick up your notebook and flip it open. Getting up, you begin to walk around your room in circles as you read over your notes. Johnny must know what he's talking about because you feel better once expelling some energy. 

"I'm gonna let you study. I'll be here if you need me. Don't forget to take breaks! Oh and I love you Y/N." He says before leaving. 

You smile at his mothery concern. You still couldn't believe how good you have it. "He's the best." You sigh softly in contentment before diving back into your studying. 

Hours later you're still studying, despite Johnny's warning to take breaks. You had every intention to stop but you just kept going, telling yourself after this next unit you'll take a break. That was like 7 units and a 3 subjects ago. 

You hear a heavy sigh resounding in your head. "Baby, you didn't listen to me. I didn't want to bother you but you've been studying for like 16 hours without a break. Please go get some food or something, I'm concerned about you. Go take a break. Please." Johnny gently scolds. You feel a small mental push. 

Putting your notebook down, you rub your eyes, seeing spots for a few seconds. "Alright, alright. I will."  

"Thank you." He says softly. "I'll check up on you in a little bit. You better have eaten and rested a bit by then. Study hard but not too hard." You nod at his words while reaching for your phone to text Maeve if she wanted dinner. "I love you." 

"I love you too." You say to him before he leaves once again. 

Maeve responds back to your text and the two of you go eat. All throughout dinner though the anxiety of your test tomorrow eats at you. It was the subject you struggled in the most and you wanted to do well. It was crucial you did well if you wanted to get into medical school. Good grades mattered so much and you worked hard to keep your GPA and grades up to the absolute best they could be. But you still feel like you needed to study more. "I'll study more after dinner." You tell yourself. 

Back in your room full from dinner, you pick up your notebook and get back to it. 

Johnny sits up in bed and rubs his eyes. Your thoughts were rushing through his head, making him unable to sleep. He glanced at his phone, the artificial light almost blinding him. It was 2:34 am. "Babe..." His husky sleepy voice was soft and deep in your ears. "You've studied enough. You'll do wonderful but you need to sleep. So please go to bed."

Comfort washed over you, making your heavy eyes even heavier. "Okay," you murmured, walking over to your bed and throwing the comforter over you. 

"I love you." He tells you as your close your eyes. 

"I love you more." You respond back softly before exhaustion takes you.