Dear Cheating Husband, |✔️

Chapter Two

It has been approximately three months since that night. I keep repeating it in my head like a broken record. All the hurt and pain you caused me and me crying in front of you made it worse. Watching you sink onto your knees begging me for mercy. You asked for forgiveness and I gave you nothing. You cried and begged and I overlooked you.

I hate you so much Luca. I don't think I can ever forgive him. My heart hurts like it has been ripped out of my chest and stabbed a million times with broken glass shards. My whole body seems like it's giving up. I have been trying after I left you to be strong and be there for my boys but I can't I'm weak and pathetic. You made a fool out of me for what a little side piece or maybe you wanted to humiliate me to make me feel even worse about myself.

Humiliating someone isn't something that makes you strong it makes you weak and a coward. I have been trying but I have giving up slightly letting go with reality. Feeling this way is awful. My son can feel me being distant not being his mother hurts. I just need to be strong and get through this. I will I am strong. I hope I am.

This pain and depression is awful. I keep sayin I don't love you but here I am dreading what I did because I love you so much is hurts me. A man shouldn't have this emotional power over me I love you so much. Taking long hot showers and only eating one meal a day isn't good. It's awful. I need to snap of this I need to let go of all this pain and hurt and guilt.

I bet you don't even care about me. I bet the mistress is living in our home. But that shouldn't matter anymore to me you can start over and be a man. Reflect on what you did to me. As I lay in this empty bed with no warm body to love me and treat me with respect. You promised me and I believed you. I showed you love and respect. I made you the man but you made yourself a cheating bastard.

                      Lucas POV
It has been three dreadful months without you. I am a mess. I sit at home eating warm up meals and writhing in pain as I imagine your beautiful face staring into my soul as you say those words that hurt me. I deserve it. I deserve all of this that you are giving me.

I made a fool out of you and now you are doing the same. Our divorce hasn't been finished yet but it will be soon. I hope this is what you want because I sure as hell don't want this pain this hole in my chest that is eating me up. I shouldn't have never done this but I didn't stop or even care to think twice. I broke your heart and I broke out trust. I made you feel belittled and useless. You're not you are amazing and beautiful and so smart.

I am the stupid jackass who did this to you I made my bed now I have to lay in it. I wish I could take it back but I can't. We only move forward not backwards. I'm so stupid and pathetic. I'm not a man. I am nothing but the gum that's sticking to a bottom of a shoe. I am garbage. I am a awful man that hurt you and it's hurting me. I want to change so bad. I have to do instead of want. That's what I'll try to do.