the one that got away

2

"Look, Natasha. Please just listen to me for a moment," James sighed when she cut him off like that. He knew she was having a hard time, and true he never did anything about the bullying. But the fact was, he did like her. But it never seemed right to him, to like her, to stand up for her. That's why he never did. And he regrets it. "I never honestly meant for you to feel this way, this downgraded and whatever more they made you feel like."

"Can't you just bugger off? It's not like you're really going to help me feel better with your amazing sob story," she shrugged him off like a bullet hitting her skin, sharp and blunt. As if he wasn't there. "I am not in the mood for your sassy apologies and your 'not meant' fake stories." She rolls her eyes at him, in the distance spotting Wanda running towards them. Who was also wondering why James was here.

"Nat, why did you go?" Wanda asked as if she didn't hear the yelling and boo-ing. But she did, she very well did and she didn't care. She never really did. "And what are you doing here James? Can't you finally realize that Natasha doesn't like you?"

When Wanda started arguing with James, Natasha took this as a perfect opportunity to leave. Getting up from her spot by the fountain, walking away slowly. There was a small park right across the street, and with her graduation cap and outfit, she made her way over there. Watching how people enjoyed the early April sun, getting the vitamins running. Natasha wondered what people did in their everyday lives because now she had to find a purpose for her everyday life. Like, a job, and maybe even a higher study. Another degree, maybe uni? She wouldn't know. She didn't know. Didn't want to know.

As she wandered around the park, she had her mind running miles on thoughts and feelings. Clutching her diploma in her hand tightly, it was the one thing no one could steal from her. There wasn't another Natalia Alianovna Romanova in this world. It was just her. She had to make the difference like everyone else was doing in their lives. But she didn't have a purpose, she didn't have a place in the world.
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Meanwhile, James and Wanda were still arguing, only to finally realize that Natasha had again run away. "Oh great, look what you've done, you scared Nat away." Wanda snorted.

"Says the best friend who didn't even know her bestie was being bullied for her origin and religion," James rolled his eyes, "If you don't mind, I have a Russian to find." Wanda snorted at him, but she wasn't going to find her friend. Because in real life, they weren't such great friends as people thought them to be. James hurried off, not quite knowing where Nat went, but he knew the park. It was his best shot. 

As he reached the other side of the arena, where the park was at, the students ran all over the street. The ceremony has ended. James watched them all dance over the street as the arena emptied, it was going to be harder than he thought to find a certain red-head. 
Children started screaming all around him as he made his way through the massive crowd, he pushed them all away to make his way to the park. 

He was wondering what was going on in Natasha's head, what was she thinking? Why was she thinking like this? She's more than just worth it. At least to him, she was. He may have never shown it, not towards her or even himself. But he knew he cared about her in some way. Even though he was in a way the reason her life has been so immensely sucking right here in college. And this was the least he could do to make things better, to make her feel different at least. She graduated, it should be a time of joy, that's the last thing she could and should feel right now. He was going to turn his mistakes around and show her right there and then what he was really made of. 

As he walked into the park, it didn't take him too long to actually find Natasha. She was almost the only one in the park, and she was the only one wearing a graduation outfit. That hung loosely over her shoulders, he watched her heaving a deep sigh before he walked over to her, carefully laying a hand on her shoulder. She turned to look who it was but shrugged his hand off when she saw it was him, and turned away. "Please, go away James," she almost sighed.