the one that got away

5

"you still want to come in for a drink?" Natasha offered after she had taken a step back from James, his face was flushed red but Natasha's wasn't any different. they shared the same feelings and they knew. but neither of them would speak up about it. 

"I, uh, sure," he nodded, stunned, "you got something strong?"

"Definitely," Natasha smirked at him and turned her face back to the elevator door, softly touching her lips with her finger. Smiling to herself. neither Natasha nor James were able to handle what just happened a moment ago. "I've got something strong," she smirked, and as the elevator doors opened, Natasha could feel a force sweeping her off her feet. she let out a squeal of excitement, feeling James' strong arms around her. "James put me down!"

"I'm sorry but no would have to do for now,"

"wha-" she cut herself off, she didn't think he would go in against her. but he did, it surprised her but it warmed her heart, she didn't want to feel the way she felt. but at the same time, it felt more and more lovely, almost even familiar.

James carried her to her front door where he was forced to put her back onto her feet, she wouldn't be able to open the door any other way. as Natasha opened her door she could feel James his eyes all over her, it made her nervous, yet feel so much more excited. she slowly opened the door but James helped her out for a moment, he pushed her inside and kicked the door shut, grabbing Natasha by the waist and spinning her around to press her up against the door. kissing her hard, it took Natasha by surprise, her hands were hanging mid-air. unknowing of where to place them. after she let James his lips sink into hers for a good moment, she finally felt more comfortable. resting her hands on James his cheeks.
The tension was high, the heat in the air between them rose rapidly. everything was moving much quicker than it did before. James was a strong guy, Natasha knew that one wrong move and she was still tied up to him. He grabbed her firmly and lifted her again. Natasha let out a breathless gasp as he carried her over to the couch, her heart started racing like crazy. this was not what she wanted, she didn't want this. It was just a matter of seconds before she saw the images flash before her eyes as James sat himself down, with Natasha simply straddling over her. her breathing became heavier, she felt his fingers tickle her sides. it gave her a strange, but comfortable feeling. even though she tried to fight whatever she was seeing and feeling she pulled away.

"i- I can't James, I-" her head hung low as she spoke, her red locks falling over her face but soon she felt a warm hand rising her chin.

"I saw what happened, I felt what happened." he softly spoke, but how did he know? "You may seem like you're a complex, closed-off woman Natasha. But believe me you're an open book, I saw how scared you got when I picked you up, and I am sorry for making you feel that way, that wasn't my intention, not in a million years." Natasha could only nod at what he said. 

"It's stupid..." James shook his head at her comment, he thought it was more than normal to feel like this. "I'm so sorry, James, I didn't mean to scare you off,"

"You didn't scare me, you told me a piece of yourself without having to tell me, I want to get to know the real Natasha and if this is how I get to know you, then this is how." he softly smiled at her, and it warmed her heart, she just leaned in and pressed her head against his chest, "It might sound silly and all, but I don't think it's actually silly, Nat." he paused for a second, stroking her hair. "Nothing is when it comes to you," 

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Later that evening, the alcohol wasn't going to leave anytime soon. the pair had ordered a pizza and just had a fun night in. all that happened a few hours ago was still tormenting Natasha's mind. she couldn't quite help it, she was confused as to why James understood her and why he did what he did. but she couldn't think about it for long. James noticed her thoughtful face and he pulled her off the couch, making her spill her wine all over herself. "JAMES!"

he laughed but then he saw the look on her face and he froze in his spot, "I sorry, kayo?" he had some drinks, and it made him feel a little fuzzy. which made Natasha crack up, his plan worked. "It's just a little wine, right? I mean I don't mind if you took it off?"

"I am not taking this off, understood. This," she circled around her body, "Is not for you to see, it belongs to me, not to you." she glared at him before walking off to her bedroom, taking off her wet dress.

"One day it will be! Mark my words!" 

Natasha laughed and shrugged it off, she let James dance in her living room as she changed. Trying to get the worst stains out of the dress before it could be too late. she put on some sweatpants and walked off to the bathroom, watching James for a moment as he was feeling himself and the music. it made her giggle, and for a moment she saw something there. even though, she shouldn't. she couldn't fall in love with James, she would forbid herself from letting that happen. it would be her worst mistake if she did fall in love with him. she just couldn't, it would hurt her, and him in the end. she wasn't someone to be loved.
natasha left her dress in a bucket of water with a little bit of washing-soda and she walked back to her bedroom, it has just been a few minutes and she noticed there wasn't anyone jumping around anymore and the music had stopped. "James?" She walked to the couch and laughed, "Oh don't you look peaceful now," she smiled. speeding off to her bedroom to get a pillow and a blanket, stuffing the pillow under his head and the blanket over him. carefully sliding off his shoes so he would at least sleep comfortably. "Sleep tight, sleeping beauty," she smiled and kissed his cheek. she looked at him again and her heart melted. "You do things to me you can't possibly understand, Barnes." 

Oh, I need you more than words can say......