the one that got away

9

For once, Summer felt endless. The break between school and a totally new life felt endless. An endless time Natasha was spending with someone she actually had a bond with, an actual friendship. And god knows even more than just a friendship. They have been messing around, but neither of them spilled the "i really like you," to one another. Simply because they were scared of what the future would look like for them. It was uncertain, nothing was planned, nothing was being sought after. They were simply, summer time lovers. And would forget about their existence when they would both get back to their normal lives, to working their asses of to make the best of their lives. To being who they were before they met. Back to the bitter beginning without each other.

It was an occurring thought in Natasha's mind, the feeling of losing him when she had just found him. Even though she wasn't ready to admit she had a soft spot for him, she didn't want to admit that she liked him. She was careful with what she said, and what she did. Because she still blamed him for what happened in school, the way he always made her feel. Like a nobody, and suddenly she was his everything. Or so she thought to be.

After James took her out to the lake after the hike to take a dive, she felt unwell. She couldn't quite say if it were the eggs she ate in the morning, or that her thoughts ended up giving her a stomach bug. She didn't try and show it to him, but it was pretty noticeable, because he caught on.

"Are you alright?" He asked as he approached her, she was sitting on a bed of rocks, taking small breaths. "You're pale.."

"I don't feel that well, but i'll be fine.." Natasha sighed, hating it. Hating every second of it. She didn't want to be this vulnerable, not with him. She tried to shut off her thoughts about him but nothing seemed to help, nothing seemed to be stopped. No matter how hard she actually tried.

"We should be heading back then, i have some painkillers and other stuff in the car, we should have you take some at least." Before she could answer he was already out the water and wrapping a towel around Natasha's body. "Come on," he pulled her up and wrapped an arm around her waist. It wasn't much but somehow made her feel safe, she didn't want it. But it did.

The hike back to the cabin made her feel more sick, but also felt like an eternity. An eternity in which James was worries sick. Natasha felt alright, it wasn't more than just period pains, or period nausea. But for a man, who's never really been involved with women, yes it might have looked like a whole lot. So, he didn't let go of her. He was keeping up with her pace, didn't go faster. He didn't push her, he was the only one that spoke during the hike, because Natasha felt as if her guts would come up if she spoke. And eventually, they did.

The moment they reached the cabin, and the door wasn't even half open, Natasha slipped from James' grasp and ran straight for the bathroom. She slipped to her knees, hanging over the toilet as her guts came rushing out. She hadn't thrown up like this in a long time, and she felt incredibly miserable because of it.
James was left stunned outside the cabin, the speed amazed him. But soon it snapped and he ran after her, kneeling besides her on the cold concrete floor. Brushing the hairs from her face and holding it up for her, "Oh poor baby..." he breathed as she retched again, and again, and again... it was like there wasn't a stop. He carefully placed his free hand on her lower back, running small circles with the tips of his fingers. Just ensuring her he wasn't going to leave her like this.
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Hours passed and Natasha was knocked out on the couch, she was able to change in some warmer clothes before the nausea knocked her out cold. James was watching over her, worriedly. Quite worried. He had never experienced something like this before, and he wished he never would.

He has placed a bucket at the end of the couch, 'just in case'. He also made her some soup, as he learned from his mother, 'it would cure all sicknesses'. Although he wasn't the best cook, his soup tasted pretty good,

The time Natasha was sleeping gave James some time to think. Seeing her like that on that couch made him realize one or two things. One, he wanted to wake up next to her every morning. She looked peaceful when she slept and he wanted to be the reason she smiled when she would wake up.
Two, he was starting to fall harder for her. He'd always have a crush on her in college, but he had a reputation to hold up. He couldn't go for her back then. He wished, wished upon any star that he could change what he had done. His reputation got him nowhere near her, when he wanted to be near her. All day, he wanted to just say hi. But he never did. He understood why she hated him, why she resented him and he'd be fine if she would reject him now. All that he was trying now was to at least show her he is a good guy at heart, and not just a stubborn Russian with no heart. Maybe he'd gone too far, maybe he'd done too little. He didn't know, but he was afraid to ask her.

The question circled his mind, as he heard a soft groan come from the couch. He shot up from his seat and almost rushed over to her. "Hey..."

"What's happened...?" She asked lazily. "Did you move me here?"

"You went out cold here, i just made sure you were at least a little comfortable." He said with a shy smile, she nodded. "Are you feeling okay?"

"My stomach is still a little... unwell. But i'm feeling, okay-ish." She said as she sat up slowly, "Thank you, James. Really.."

"It's okay, it's what every other person would do, right." He chuckled shyly, he didn't know what he was doing or if he was even doing it good.

"No I mean... thank you for this.. It hasn't gone down the way you and I probably planned it, but thank you. It's great to be out of the city for a while.." He nodded at her, "But I think it's best if we went back.. I don't know if this nausea is going to keep bothering me, but I don't want to ruin your retreat.."

"You're not bothering anything. Not me anyways," That got a little chuckle out of her, "Just take some meds, take some soup, and see how that goes down? Maybe it will make you feel a little better, if it does, we can stay a few days longer and enjoy the un-polluted for a tad bit more."

"Fine," She mumbled, but chuckled. He did make her feel a tiny bit better. And so did the soup.