Tear Me Apart

Chapter One

"All the child support that poor man pays and she can't even afford to buy them a decent pair of shoes" whispers the white-blond women in the next aisle. I just roll my eyes and keep my head down and pretend I don't hear them all whispering. They all just repeat the same thing over and over.

" She got knocked up at the age of 14"
" The black bastard just brought more of her kind to our neighborhood by one of us"
" She's a junkie and doesn't care for the kids at all"

It's all the same thing every day, same rumor just a different face. But today this one rumor was new. Who the hell was "that poor man" and where the hell is all that " child support he paid" cause it sure is needed. Maybe they were talking about my dad he hasn't made his monthly appearance lately, but then again he is darker then I am, these white people would never refer to him as that "poor man".

God, I hate white people. Let me rephrase that, Gosh I hate these white snobby people in this whitewashed neighborhood. I could never truly hate white people I have raised myself with good morals. Although that might be a result of my little brothers being half white. I've honestly never been around other white people other then my brothers and the people in this neighborhood, I might react negatively to all white people, hell I haven't had good encounters with the little black people that live here either my dad being a HUGE example.

Grabbing the baby wipes and a small pair of shoes for the boys cause sadly I'm human and care about what people think a little I start heading to the front counter. There's a skinny little white guy at the register, it's just me and him up here and its kinda calming cause now I don't have a bunch of eyes following me and judging me all at once. I begin setting all my items on the counter making sure he sees me grab everything, last time a woman tried to say I was stealing.

"Hi," he says. shocked by the sound I turn around and see him smiling at me. I flinch a bit at him smiling at me, I'm not used to this kind of treatment in this neighborhood.

"Hi," I say back while bringing my hand up for a little wave. Although this is very weird and off I let a little smile slip out, sometimes it is nice to be treated like a human and not some animal.
 
" You're are very beautiful" I hear him say after a few awkward moments pass. And now I'm scared things like this don't happen to me and frankly, I don't want them to start now. I pull my boy's stroller closer a protective instinct I have developed and give the boy a fake tight smile trying to bag all my items while he scans all the food. Looking down at the boys his smile widens a bit.

" So you're the girl that got knocked up at 14. You wanna get some more action in I can pay you, even more then your baby daddy does." I look up to see him biting his lip while staring me up and down.

"Can I have my total sir?" I ask trying to get out of here as fast as I can. This guy was a clear creep and I should have known better by now.

"$30.25 sweety but hey it can be on the house if you can come to my house later," he says while sliding a piece of paper towards me with I'm guessing his number on it. I quickly hand him exact change and tell give him a quick "No thanks" and run out the doors with the boys sleeping, before leaving I hear a

" Fucking Bitch,"  I don't care though. This was my life and hell I'm use to it by now.
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Home. A House. Shelter, that's what I would call this place. I have no clue how my dad could afford this house especially on this side of town. These were big houses with even bigger known business people living in them. I hated it. I hated everything about my life other then Joesph and Micheal I can 100% tell everyone that they are the reason that I haven't offed myself yet. They need me at the moment and until the day they don't, I can't see myself leaving them in this cruel world especially with our father.

Finally reaching the house my body shivered in fear at the black old Jeep parked in the front. My life was hard enough and whenever my father came here it got more complicated. Running to the backyard I set the boys in the shed while they slept and ran to the front of the house I tried to be quiet as possible while opening the front door I peeked my head inside and looked around the living room. There laying on the worn-down brown coach was the man I called father and quickly turned into my abuser. I let out a silent cry as I knew exactly what I had to do for me to sneak the twins inside the house. Running back to the shed I set up a bundle to set the twins in by the small basement window and I set the food down by it, carefully while trying not to wake the twins up I lay them inside the bundle by the small basement window.

"Okay Peanuts I'll be gone just for a little bit I want you guys to stay asleep and don't make a sound. I'll be quick and I promise to try and not scream." I said to their peaceful sleeping bodies. I honestly didn't know what was going to happen that man was unpredictable and he scared the life out of me I just hoped I make it alive.

Running to the front door I knocked on it. This was the safest way for me to get in while he's in there, I remember one day when I tried sneaking into the house he had caught me and with the twins too, they were only a good 5 months at the time and I had to quickly set them under the dining room table. He beat me so hard that day for trying to sneak back in I wasn't allowed out of the house unless during school hours but I still needed money so I had to get a job to provide for myself and the twins. He had grabbed one of the kitchen knives and sliced down my spine his words still haunt me to this day.

"This is your punishment for being such a whore now you won't be able to sneak around" he snarled at me. I had awoken with the sound of the twins crying and no sign of him whatsoever like he never existed. I later came to find out I was passed out for two days and the twins starved for 2 days so from that day on I refused to sneak again. But I found a new way to get them in.

When the door opened I was already prepared when I felt him pull my hair. I didn't scream when my head came in contact with the hard marble floor. I didn't scream when his large hand wrapped around my throat and started choking me. I didn't let any tears fall when I felt the three punches to my gut. When he was done beating me he always without fails threw me down the basement steps and that's how  I would sneak the twins in ,through the small basement window and, that's also how I would get out of the house while he was here. But today was different. Today he didn't have beer cans lying around him as he beat me, Today he didn't cuss at me nor did he tell me how worthless I am and today for the first time he beat while he was sober he beat me knowing well enough what he was doing and after beating me, he threw me down the steps of the front door. He kicked me out the house.

"Don't come back here you little bitch or next time I'll kill you the same way I did your mother" I was so shocked by him kicking me out his words only caught up to me just now. I finally flinched when I heard the front door slam shut, I was just going to lay there till I heard the faint sound of sobs. The twins, standing up I ignored the buzzing in my head. I had to get to the twins before he heard them crying. So I ran, more like limped running to them when I reached them I quietly sushed them and sat down till they were sleep again. I set them back in their strollers with only a few groceries that were needed and started heading North down the street. I was tired of course but I had two little boys depending on me and until I knew my brothers didn't need me anymore I was always going to continue. I didn't know what to do next but this was my life, I was used to being confused.

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IDK If I should keep going