Twisted immortality

XX - Past life, this life...

Songkarn couldn't believe that it really happened. Just yesterday, he thought of never wallowing in sadness. In regret. In pain anymore. He couldn't make himself walk away. Was this really love? Did Henry truly love him? What was this curse really? If he did love him... What scared him to this extent that he would go to almost every absurd direction to get rid of the guy he loved.

"Songkarn?" Henry was looking for him.

Songkarn had stepped onto the rooftop which made one think that he was all alone in this world. Especially in the darkness of the night. No soul to feel, no other building to see in the pitch-black night. Songkarn stepped onto the landing of the roof. Was this fate? Will the fortunate really be favored this time? But for how long?

"I was afraid you had left. That it had all been a dream." Songkarn felt him. Henry put his arms around his waist and pressed himself tight against his back. The face that leaned onto his bare shoulder was damp. From sweat? From tears? How bad was this affecting Henry? Maybe if Songkarn looked closer, he would find some cracks in that perfect smooth stone facade of his.

"Did you mean it, Henry?"

"You can call me Anurak. It feels good when you call me that." he loosened his grip a bit. Songkarn turned around and looked at Anurak's face. "I did. I do love you."

"Why all this then? Did you know I would come to you? This project is your doing, isn't it? The feel was so right when I read it. Was it for a thrill? Or is it something more?"

"You are right. It is my brainchild. I might have been thought of you when I wrote it. No, I am always thinking of you so there's actually no doubt." Henry let go of him and stepped away. His eyes strayed into the darkness of the night. Songkarn could only sense where they were, but he could not see the intense regret and longing that were looming above Henry.

"I didn't know you would be the one reading it, or rather that you would come here. I never imagined it. If I would have known beforehand, I would have never shown myself... Though, I would have looked at you, from afar." Anurak stepped into the light and Songkarn could see the tears flowing down his face.

"It wasn't for the thrill. It's not easy for me!" Anurak stepped forward and held onto Songkarn's arms. "I know you have been through hell. But do you have any idea what I've been through? Do you have any idea what staying away from you has cost me? Songkarn this is as close as I can let you come." He wiped his tears and leaned his forehead onto Songkarn's shoulder. Songkarn had gone totally still. He was barely breathing. Will it come now. Another blow to his heart, to his life?

"Can you do one thing for me?"

Songkarn felt breathless. What now? He couldn't answer. He could only nod while Henry still didn't lift his head. Finally, Henry sighed and raised his head.

"You can never ask me about the curse again. Nothing. If you do, I will leave at that second and make it impossible for you to find me ever again. Can you agree to this?" Anurak's gaze was piercing. He absolutely needed Songkarn to agree and he was conveying his pleading soul through that one steady fixed look. Songkarn did not trust his voice. His wish was so close to fulfillment, so he nodded again. To his distraught Anurak shook his head.

"No, this won't do. You have to promise me. I have to be able to believe you. Please." He was so adamant and strong. Yet, his need betrayed his fear and uncertainty.

Songkarn swallowed once, twice. "I promise."

Anurak closed the short distance that separated them. Until his body, which was clad only in sweatpants, pressed against Songkarn's, no distance between them. The look of desperation gone from his eyes. It looked like they had been apart for too long and there was so much to cherish, to discover. He wrapped his hands around Songkarn and it felt like he breathed him in. It felt weird. It definitely wasn't a normal embrace. Anurak held him like he wasn't sure how to handle him like Songkarn was a precious artifact. One hand curled around the nape of his neck and the other on his back. He whispered something, but Songkarn could not catch everything he said.