Twisted immortality

XXXI - Twisted

The fabric of a jacket was between his fingers for only one second. As he lifted his head and looked at the person almost running away in this crowded street, he knew he saw a lock of hair from the person hunting him all this time, then again a turned hoodie that hid him from Songkarn's gaze... What was he to do now? Even though he didn't see his face clearly and Songkarn didn't dare to call out his name. But then it was already too late.

One last time he got a glimpse of the back of the hoodie and into the crowd, it disappeared.

When Songkarn sat on the terrace and watched over the city, the only thing he saw was a scene from the dream world. One, where Henry took a hold of his hand in the marketplace and not for the reason of helping, but just for the feeling of comfort of being together. It felt amazing, they're first really long, feeling of togetherness. And after all these years of being together with Henry in his dream life. There was no hesitation. He knew every part of him. Every touch of his. So this person on the road, helping him, had been Henry. But why and how? How the hell could he exist in this confusing, new, mixed-up world?

Why did he even remember all this? What was the meaning of this? Was there something missing from his life right now with Anurak? No. That would be the answer. Then why did such things occur at all? Why all these dreams, why all this? Why confuse his mind like this?

Songkarn couldn't think of it. He could not understand. So he went to sleep and welcomed the wondering, loving hands of Anurak hours later. He made love to his lover and felt that one thing in this life had not changed and he could be contented. However confusing the dream life was, it had not taken away or shaken his feelings or his mind in the way one could fear.

Two days later, when he wanted to step into the hospital he was startled by someone. Before he could think of anything else, he saw his therapist's face. It was Lucas.

"I was thinking of making this session a little bit different. Let's walk and talk." Songkarn couldn't find a reason to deny it, so they walked to a coffee shop, ordered their drinks and walked on to the park. Talking all the time. Songkarn described to Lucas the encounter after their last session and everything he had thought by himself. Lucas was quiet for a while, before saying something, that made Songkarn slow his steps until he was really standing still.

"I think there is something coming. I absolutely believe this life is not the only one we live through. Why should people have just one? Well, my beliefs are irrelevant, but let's look at the facts." Lucas didn't look exactly nervous saying this, but still, he was fazed, talking about something, that most rational people would call insanity.

"Your past life, whichever. Is running through your current life as if it has a reason to meld into it. Why? Because one or many of its characters are appearing in this life. When did it start? Recently. How soon did you start confusing two lives? Almost immediately. And now there is, not sure yet, but a possibility. That there are two Anurak's? Doesn't make a difference. They look the same, and as much as I understood, Henry had hundreds of names in the other life." He took a deep breath.

"What I think is, that there is something to wait for or something to fear. And I'm one hundred per cent sure that your life will be constructed absolutely anew. I think you will feel more often than not, that everything moves toward emerging your life into the way you lived it in your past life. The most important question is still, why? And what? What is going to happen in your life, that you need such a dramatic, drastic change in your life for? How bad can it be, that it changes your whole life?"

"I need? Why would I need it?" Songkarn was standing still and watched Lucas's thoughtful and gentle face with the barest amount of interest. He didn't want to know, what this supposed life-altering thing, that was going to happen, was. For which he needed to be sucked into this double reality.