You || Krii7y

15. Pain

The next morning John is up bright and early. By 9 a.m., he's gotten up, made his bed, showered, eaten breakfast and brushed his teeth. He's stunned by how early he is compared to normal and how good he feels.

He decides he wants to walk to Jaren's house, taking the slightly longer, more scenic route. He passes the park he went to with Jaren just a week ago. He remembers how much they'd laughed as they watched Octavia, how pretty Jaren had looked in the sun, eating ice cream. How close they'd gotten when he'd gotten some of it on his face.

He's so lost in his thoughts that he finds himself in front of Jaren's house and can't remember half of the journey here. He takes a deep breath and knocks. Seconds pass and he can hear shuffling on the other side before the door opens to Jaren, dressed in sweatpants and a baby blue hoodie. He looks surprised to see John, his expression faltering momentarily.

"Hi." John smiles.

"Hey," Jaren responds cautiously. "Do you want to come in?

"I'd love to."

John goes to the living room that is practically his own, from how often he's here, and sits down, putting his phone on the bottom shelf of Jaren's coffee table. Jaren stands awkwardly by the living room door.

'Um... can I get you a drink?"

"I'm alright, thanks." John frowns at the formality in Jaren's tone and question. He looks past Jaren when he hears the stairs creak and spies a man's legs as they descend down the stairs. They round the corner beside Jaren and John is met with the appearance of Kieran.

"Hey, John right? I didn't get to see you last night, how are you?"

John can't even muster up anger. He just feels empty as he realises what's happened. "Fine. I hope you are too." He fixes his gaze on Jaren. "Well, I just wanted to come over, you know, hang out. But you're clearly busy so don't worry. I'll get going. It was nice to see you both," he states stiffly and walks to the door to see himself out.

"Wait, John!" Jaren's soft voice calls after him. He sighs and turns around. "Are you sure? Do you need something?"

You. "I'm fine, Jaren." He forces a smile onto his face. "I'm good." He turns back and walks away before his friend's gaze can pierce through him and see his lies. Jaren is perceptive like that, but he hopes the distance he'd put between them over the last week or so is enough to falter his vision for a second while John gets away.

He goes home, walking dejectedly until he's in front of his door. Kasey's car is gone. He finds a note on his front step.

Don't worry, no one's stolen my car. I came and took it back because I don't think you were planning on returning it anytime soon, you thief :)

Love,
Kasey x

John takes the note inside and goes straight to his room.

Fuck this. Why is he always too late? His whole life has always been a series of lead ups to dead ends, dreams he can't fulfil. Except Jaren. He'd been the only good thing in John's life and now he's pushed him away. Well done John. Great fucking job.

**********************

Jaren watches John walk away and he can't help but feel like something's... off.

"Hey Jaren, I think I'm going to get going. Thanks for letting me come over. Your games really are great by the way, I'm glad we spent only the whole of last night playing them." Kieran laughs and places a hand on Jaren's shoulder.

He smiles at him. "No worries, Kieran. It was fun to have you around. I guess I'll see you tonight?"

"It's a date." Kieran grins as Jaren feels his cheeks heat a little.

"See you later, alligator."

"In a while, crocodile."

Later on in the day, Jaren jumps on his PC to play some Golf It!. He sees the lobby is the same as earlier that week: Mini, Panda, Ohm and John.

"'Sup losers!" he hollers as he spins in his chair.

"Smii7y!" they chorus.

"Always the last on," Ohm scolds.

Jaren rolls his eyes. "Sorry I have a life that isn't just about you, grandpa."

Anthony's cackle fills Jaren's ears and he lets out a laugh himself, joined by Mini and Ohm. "Ohm, you got told!" Panda wheezes.

John says nothing all this time and Jaren doesn't even acknowledge him. He'd thought that maybe because he'd had the guts to turn up to his house yesterday, they might be on speaking terms again. It doesn't appear he's correct.

They all play golf, John getting gradually louder and more like himself. Once they have enough footage, the five sit in the call together.

"Hey Smii7y," Mini calls. "Fitz tells me you went home with a certain Kieran yesterday."

Jaren laughs. "I did."

The call erupts in raucous cheering. "Spill!" Ohm orders.

"We didn't do anything like that, you creeps. We played games and I have a date with him tonight."

"Oh, this is going to be great," Panda sighs happily.

"Calm your tits, Anthony. It's my date, not yours."

The three wish him luck as he's about to leave the call. Just before he does, he hears a small voice. "Have fun, Jaren," John mumbles.

Jaren inhales sharply. "Thank you."

"No problem. I really hope you enjoy yourself." Jaren looks for the malicious double meaning he's come to expect, but it really is just a wish of good luck. He leaves the call confused.

What is John doing? At least he's being supportive. Jaren shakes his head before turning his equipment off and heads to shower before his date.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Big oof for Johnny.

Thanks for reading :)

~LC