The Way Back To You

Chapter 25

Don't forget to vote and comment!

(If you don't, you'll step on a lego)

Follow me to become a member of #TEAMBLOSSOMS!

A L E X

I walk back to the van just as it's starting to drizzle outside, thinking about how dumb it was of me to forget to bring an umbrella. The radios had been screaming about the onslaught of a thunderstorm in the area, and the only reason I listened to it at all was to drown out my father's screeching at a fellow boxer for losing his match as well as the money that came with it.

Although maybe it's a good thing after all. If Joe hadn't been kicked off the team, we'd have another match today. I wouldn't have been able to go to the smoothie shop with April.

But this was just a one time occurrence. A one time thing. To get her off my back about "owing me." I mean, she's a pretty girl and in some  ways she reminds me of Ariana. I don't even know what it is. The smile? The laugh? The personality as a whole? The hair?

It's a lot of things that altogether makes it hard to be around her for too long, but at the same time makes it hard to stay away or completely ignore her. But I really shouldn't be doing this. I've really got to leave her alone. I can't get too close. It seems like the more people I let into my life nowadays, the more people I hurt.

I hold my hands above my head, cupping them over my hair as if to ward of the rain, which is pointless because I'm already drenched. Wet. Cold to the bone.

I shake off the precipitation and run across the road to the banks near the lake where the van sits parked, immobile and sad looking. My teammates are already sprawled across the seats, heads plastered against the windows and all personal belongings in small satchels strewn across their deadweight bodies.

I walk in and pass my father, hoping for a second that he'll cut me a break and let me pass unnoticed, but of course this doesn't happen.

"Where've you been?"

I stop in the aisle but don't turn to look at him. "Out."

"Out where?"

"Since when have you cared?"

"Since Joe decided he would go and become a party-goer. Did you know he was on steroids?"

"He was-what?"

Coach Lawrence nods and lights the tip of his cigarette. "Shocker, I know. He was disqualified."

"I thought he lost the match?"

"Didn't want my boys getting any ideas. But you've got to stay away from that shit, it's not good for you."

I purse my lips and turn to look at him incredulously. The man is literally sitting there blowing smoke out of his mouth and he's trying to educate ME about what is and is not healthy?

"So what were you really doing out there if you weren't taking steroids, huh? All the other ones stay in the van. Have got nowhere to go. And so have you up until we moved here."

I look at him, thinking of how best to respond. I mean, he's right of course. Up until we moved here, in every other district, every other state, every other boxing championship location I was one of them. Them being my teammates currently passed out on their seats. A deadbeat, no life and no day plans.

I'm the youngest member and still had a mandatory high school education to fulfill, so naturally I came and went from school and the lot, but other than the usual party every other weekend and the free gym resources, I stayed in the van.

I hoped he wouldn't notice, but, I don't exactly do that anymore.

"I- Well, I go out. With friends."

I almost cringe as I say it. The simple fact of the matter is I don't have friends. I think of April, but even then, can I even really consider her a friend? Acquaintance, sure. But friend? That's a heavy word.

My father looks back at me and extinguishes the stub of his cigarette, smirking and crossing his legs over the steering wheel.

"Friends?"

He repeats the word, sneering over at me. "You don't need those. You've got me. I'm your family."

"My family is in Indiana."

"And it's because of me that they're alive."

The conversation seems to have taken a turn for the worse. I need to be careful about what I say. He gets easily offended and when it comes to this...Well, it's the one thing he has to hold over me and he knows it too.

"I want you back in the van after school from now one. No more of these parties, I don't want you ending up like Joe. It's school, the gym, and then right back here."

I bite down hard on my lip. Maybe this is for the best. I really can't be out here getting attached to people. We're going to move away once the school year winds down and that's a fact. These are people I will never see again and I shouldn't be too concerned about them. I have a family to think about, not this pathetic excuse for a human being sitting in front of me now, but...Mom. And Ariana.

"Yeah, sure whatever."

I force myself to turn away from him and continue deeper into the van, towards my own seat. I pull out my suitcase, take out my prescription bottle and knock back two pills. I do this every time I come into direct contact with him. 

Sometimes I feel like a conversation with my father is all it takes for me to explode.

I turn onto my side and lean my head against the window. I think about April's invitation to meet Ethan and about how I will never be able to do that. I wonder how these past few months have changed him. He was a broken little kid, utterly exposed to the dangers of life no matter how juvenile it may seem to the outside eye. I wish I could sit down and shield him from it all. Maybe it has to do with the fact that he's April's brother, that he's like me, or maybe because...I don't want him to turn out like me

The thought is a scary one and I push it to the back of my head. It's just one more reason I should stay away, if not for my own good, then for theirs.