gilded » david dobrik au

twenty four

So it wasn't my most well thought out idea. I could admit to that. I wasn't thinking straight when I did it, and making any life altering decision while crying your eyes out was never good. Still, I had to believe I was right in my choice.

I had been miserable since the day my mom died. It was so hard to even exist in the world without her. Though I had preached to David about opening up and making connections, maybe he was right all along. Maybe it was better to not get attached. At least then, when they eventually were taken from you, it wouldn't hurt as bad. It made sense.

My grandpa was going to be okay. He had to have some kind of surgery to break up a clot in his bloodstream, or a blockage, or some other medical word that I didn't quite understand... but he wasn't dead. If anything, I think my grandma was glad it happened. It would get him off his feet for at least a few weeks, if not months. She wouldn't be constantly worrying about where he was and if he was hurt if he was sitting in his recliner watching TV.

The image of him dying was still permanently etched in my brain, though. The thought of my grandma losing another person dear to her broke my heart and reminded me I was doing the right thing. She would be devastated when he died. He would be devastated when she died. They had so many friends that would be devastated if they died. Why would I force myself to go through that pain if I didn't need to? I could make it through life on my own. It couldn't be that hard.

It turned out, it was that hard. My friends clearly knew something was up. I was sure David had already told them I broke up with him on a whim, and no one knew why. At least they didn't, until David showed up at my house a few days later.

My grandma thought I went out with Corinna and Gabbie. That's what I told her anyways, before I snuck back in my bedroom window to lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling and avoid my phone that was calling my name from across the room. Was that normal behavior? Definitely not, but I didn't want her to worry about me, and it was unlike me to stay holed up in my room every day after school.

That's why I heard the front door open, and my grandma say, "Oh, David, Mona's not here. She's with Corinna and Gabbie."

"She is?" David didn't believe it for a second, which made sense. He could always see through my lies, especially when it came to things like mental health. "I actually came to talk to you, though."

I full body cringed, knowing whatever he had to say to my grandma, it wasn't going to be good. I got up from my spot on the bed and moved to the floor in front of my door. I could basically hear everything, since the walls were paper thin in our house, but I wanted to lock my door anyways and it seemed like the best option.

"You came to talk to me? Is everything okay?" I could hear the worry in her voice, and it almost made me get up and go talk to him myself, just to get her out of the mess I had caused. I stayed rooted on the ground, though. Something was holding me back.

"It's about Mona. I'm really worried about her," David said, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't make my heart melt. "I don't want to be dramatic and assume something is wrong, but. She... uh, she broke up with me a couple days ago, just randomly and wouldn't explain why."

"Oh, no," my grandma seemed particularly shocked to hear this information, probably because we had talked about David like nothing was wrong in that span of time. "Something... oh, no. My husband, Pete, he had a heart attack on Tuesday."

"Oh my gosh, is he okay?" David interrupted, concern clear in his tone.

"He had to have a surgery, but he's resting now. I think it might've put her in a bad mindset again. She's really bad with losing people."

I could've cried at my grandma's words, and at the emotion strong and clear in her voice when she said them.

"I... um, I don't want her to get hurt," it almost sounded like David was choking up, but I couldn't hear him too clearly through the walls. "I really couldn't deal with her getting hurt, so I thought I'd at least come check. I'm so sorry about Pete. If you guys need anything, let me know."

"You're a sweet boy, David," I could hear her smile. "Mona needs you. She's just afraid, like you were. She doesn't want to let anyone in and get hurt. But I know you, and the two of you together is... something else. Don't let her push you away. I know she's good at it, son, but... push back. She'll give in eventually."

"I don't want to force her into anything she's not comfortable with."

"Trust me when I say this, anything she does with you, she will be comfortable with. She's just a little lost right now, but I give her pep talks sometimes, and I think they really clear her mind. I'll talk to her tonight. Don't worry about her too much," she said. "She's stubborn, but she loves you. She's not going anywhere. I'll knock some sense into her, doll."

Little did she know, she already did.

When the conversation was wrapping up, I climbed back out my window and into David's car, waiting in the back seat for him to exit. I wasn't trying to be creepy, but I also didn't want my grandma to see me and know I was depression napping in my room instead of shopping with my friends.

David came out a few minutes later and started the car, not even noticing me sitting right behind him. I felt a little uncomfortable, so I didn't speak for a couple minutes, which only made it more terrifying when I finally said, "Hi."

"Jesus," David swerved a bit, quickly corrected the car back into the lane it was meant to be in. "What the fuck, Mona? What the fuck are you doing back there?"

"Um... I don't know," I half chuckled, suddenly finding it stupid that I snuck into his car in the first place. "I was in my room when you were at my house."

"I figured you weren't with Corinna and Gabbie," he half smiled at me through the rear view mirror. "Are you okay, sweetheart? Like, genuinely okay?"

"I don't know," I shrugged again, this time finding it difficult to meet his eyes. "I'm really scared that everyone is going to leave me eventually. It's going to hurt so bad when everyone leaves."

David pulled over into the nearest parking lot, the parking lot of an abandoned grocery store where the stoners went to smoke weed at night. "Come to the front."

I climbed out of the car and into the front seat, where David grabbed my hand. He said, "Sweetheart, I know it's scary. Trust me, I know how it feels to be constantly worrying that everything you knew could change in a split second. I know you probably don't believe me, but I think about you every second I'm not with you. I worry about you every single second I don't have my eyes on you. If I lost you, I would be devastated, but that doesn't mean I should just lose you now so I don't have to deal with it later. Do I make you happy?"

"Sometimes," I tried to joke to lighten the mood that was weighing on my already heavy heart, but David wasn't having it. He stared at me until I added, "Yes."

"Then, it's worth it, Mona. Let me show you it's worth it."

Im an emo lil bitch but i cried writing this LMAO

xoxo abby