The Domino Effect

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"You're fucking insane, move from me!" I screamed with tears running down my face. My heart was racing faster that I could keep up with it, everything looked fuzzy.

"You need to be quiet." the voice said.

"No are you dumb? Move!" I continued to scream as I felt my voice leave my body. I felt my body shake as I sobbed uncontrollably. I never felt more fear over anything until I met "the voice". The voice made you feel as though there was no real way out— I was terrified.

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I took a deep breath through my nose as my eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, and slowly exhaled out of my mouth. I looked over to see Shakoor sleeping peacefully, mouth slightly open and all. He was a light snorer and I couldn't help but smile, it was cute. I couldn't help but stare at him, take in all his features. His long eyelashes, his strong jaw, the small scar he had over his top lip that has faded overtime... Shakoor was real handsome. I looked at how he had his arm linked to mine and held it close to him like a baby, and I shook my head.

We never had sex. I really couldn't do it... I replayed what could've led earlier to what could've been later and I bit my tongue. We were so close and then I just froze up... I knew I wanted it and I wanted him, but selfishness on my part seemed like entirely too much. It was way too big of a step between me and Shakoor that I could not take. There was just too much that came with us that I was too scared to be ready for any of it. Not to fucking mention that we were possibly being watched, I was freaked out. I had a deeper love for the kid more that I could understand, and I just wasn't going to act on that. He was different...

I looked up towards the ceiling, sighed, and slowly unlatched my arm from his. He moved a bit in his sleep to adjust himself and I froze. Oh shit, please do not wake up! I thought to myself as his head shifted a bit. I stayed frozen for a good two minutes waiting to see if he was going to wake up. I looked over at his alarm clock to see the time, 2:06am. When he started lightly snoring again, I let out a sigh of relief and quickly slid out of the bed. Instantly, the coolness of the room hit me, and I wished I stayed in bed with him because his body heat was nice. Goosebumps started forming along my body and my nipples got hard. I remembered that I was still shirtless with my boobs out and quietly looked around for my shirt. It didn't take too long to find along with the rest of my shit, I slipped everything on as fast as I could.

Was I pulling a whole play and ditch? Yes. But was he going to be fine? Of course, he always was. I sighed as I looked over at him while I made my way to the door. I stopped and made my way back to him, and kissed him lightly on the forehead. He smiled a bit in his sleep and I felt warm on the inside.

"I'm sorry..." I said quietly before I finally slipped out of his room, shut the door and made my way outside into the night.

His house was about ten minutes away from mine so I started walking, and thankfully the weather was good. The transit stopped running after 1 so thankfully, I knew my way home from there. There was a warm breeze blowing and the roads were seemingly quiet with a few cars passing by here and there and people going about their business. I put my hands in my pockets and walked with my head straight forward, taking in my surroundings. Everywhere was lit up which surprised me because it was so late, I didn't think that most of these places would be open. I started to hum a soft tune to make time pass by faster as I walked since there was nothing better to do. After what felt like forever, from where I stood, I could see the apartment in the distance and I smiled to myself. I actually walked down here without complaints tonight-- I thought to myself. But right then, I was fully alert. Shakoor's area was perfectly fine, but once you reached mine? All the crackheads, thugs, hoes and all that jazz came out and went about their business. I was not in the mood to have to deal with any of that tonight.