The Voidbreak Crisis

15. Hate

She felt younger than she had in millennia, each breath filling her with new life as she ran. Matilda ricocheted through the forest, bouncing off each tree with barely a noise. She felt the wind rushing by her and tears of joy flew from her eyes as she leapt through a massive clearing. She landed on a tree on the far side and continued her joyous romp through the dense forest before leaping off of a tall tree and into the water of the lake beneath her. She felt the cold water envelope her and swam through unimpeded, bursting through the surface far from the shore. She dove back in and swam to the dock, leaping out and landing on her feet. She could feel a powerful music inside of her soul, and for the very first time, felt joy. Not the lust of battle, not the thrill of the hunt. No, this was a simple joy. She saw the birds flying above her, and felt joy. She could hear the hustle of the small town in front of her, and felt joy. She felt the cold breeze blow by her, sucking the heat out of her fur, and shivered. But she felt joy. Her vision clouded with tears as she sank to her knees, the emotions welling up inside of her as she sobbed. She buried her face in her hands and cried, overwhelmed by this gift she'd received.

"I don't deserve this." She sobbed, falling over and curling into a fetal position, still sobbing uncontrollably. Her joy had been replaced by an all-consuming regret. She remembered every person she had ever killed. She saw their faces flash in her mind, and heard their last breaths in her ears. She suddenly realized what she had done to King. And why he had pursued her across the world, even to this barren place.
"I'm so sorry." She sobbed, unable to get up from the ground.
"You okay over there, sweetie?" A sweet, old voice asked from the shore. Matilda looked up through her tear-filled eyes to see an old woman with thick black sunglasses walking across the dock towards her. She had brightly colored pants, and an even brighter shirt on as she tapped the dock with her cane, walking towards the sobbing, miserable, wet mess that was now Matilda. Matilda felt regret and sorrow fill her heart again as she managed to sob out a reply.
"No." She said, breaking down into tears again.
"Tell me what happened, baby." The old lady said softly, patting Matilda's head gently as she sat on a bench next to her.
"And get up off the ground, baby. Here, sit by me." She said, doing her best to pull Matilda up from the ground. Matilda got up from the dock and sat next to the woman on the bench, still softly crying.
"What are you wearing, sweetie? It's soaked." The lady said, taking the shawl she had around her shoulders and wrapping it around Matilda's, doing her best to rub her dry.
"Now what happened baby?" The lady asked softly as a gentle breeze swept past them, making Matilda shiver and pull the shawl closer.

"I'm a terrible creature." Matilda sobbed, burying her face in her hands again.
"No you're not, baby. You're not. Tell me what happened." The lady said softly, rubbing Matilda's back. Matilda looked over at her, and realized this woman was completely blind. She had dark brown skin, and a kind, weathered face. Just looking at her made Matilda's heart warm a little.
"I was a..." Matilda began, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves. Why was she talking to this person? But she felt like she could tell this woman most of the truth.
"I was a terrible person. I'm still a terrible person. But..." Matilda paused to think for a second as she watched children playing in the lake far from their bench.
"But I didn't know any better." She whispered as she began to cry again.
"Go on, baby. Let it out." The old lady said, still rubbing her hand on Matilda's back.
"I didn't know the difference from right and wrong, I didn't know why I was doing anything!" Matilda sobbed, trying not to yell and scare the children away.
"I hurt so many people." She sobbed, covering her mouth and watching the children splash around in the cold lake.
"Everybody does, baby. It's just a matter of making it right." The old lady said softly.
"How?" Matilda asked softly.
"How can I make this right?" She asked as the tears poured down her face.
"Well, all you can really do is apologize, and try to fix whatever you broke. And then the ball's in their court. If they choose to forgive you or not, that's their job, baby." She said softly.
"He can't forgive me. Not for what I've done." Matilda said softly.
"That's his choice, baby. Not yours. All you can do is apologize, and make sure it never happens again." The sweet old lady said softly.
"What do I do?" Matilda asked, looking over at her.
"I'll tell you what to do." The old lady began, standing up and pulling on Matilda's hand. Matilda stood with her as they walked back towards the town.
"First, you get yourself a shower, and a nice hot meal. Then, you go back to that boy, and you apologize. If he wants to forgive you, he will. If he doesn't, you move on. You pick yourself up, and you move forward. You've got better things to do than cry over some boy, baby." The old lady said, walking towards the town as she tapped her cane against the ground.
"What about the other people? It's been ages since... There's no way I can ask them all." Matilda said. The old lady sighed and stopped walking to face Matilda.
"All you can do is start fresh, sweetie. You turn over a new leaf, and you become a better person. Be the person you wish you had with you, back when... whatever happened, happened. Be the friend you needed back then." The old lady said, taking Matilda's hand softly in hers.