sinful | s. walsh

XIV.

"Ain't no one look at you like you a shadow."

XIV.

Letting the walkers out of the barn was a group decision made without my father present. Shane had told the group we shouldn't have to worry anymore and the group decided he was right. I for one was against it. No, I didn't like that there was a barn full of walkers by where we slept but as my dad had said before, it isn't our land. Hershel was letting us stay here, we were guests, we do not have the right to go against him regardless of how the world works anymore. Which just brings up another point, we need to keep some humanity and respect. This was a devastating blow to Hershel and his family. You could see it all over their faces as the group kept shooting the walkers as they came out of the barn. Although, I didn't like it, I had helped take them down. It was when the last person to walk out the barn broke us all.

Seeing Sophia walk out, no longer living breathing Sophia, but walker Sophia, that was a hard pill for all of us to swallow. All this time and energy spent into looking for her yet here she was. Daryl almost died for her and there she was, in the barn this whole time. Some of the group believed Hershel knew she was in there but from their faces when she walked out, I could tell they had no idea.

After the incident Carl wouldn't leave my side. At first he was clinging to my mom and as soon as I tried to talk to him he just wanted to be around me and go where I went. I didn't mind, seeing Sophia as a walker made me think what if it was Carl who got lost? My whole world would crash if it was Carl in that position.

"I always thought it was going to be me who found her. I thought I'd find her in a cave somewhere or in a tree and bring her back." He says as we sit up against a tree looking out onto the land. I look down at him to see him just staring off. I know he was hurt, he wanted to find Sophia and he really believed we would find her. He had hope and now I could slowly see hope leaving him.

"You wanted to be the hero." I state and he nods.

"Carl, sometimes heroes don't just save people. Sometimes heroes lead people and have hope. You had hope, that's always a good thing to have."

He sighs, "I guess."

"Hey, you're a hero to me." He smiles at that and I can't help but smile too.

"Carl, can I talk to your sister for a minute?" Shane comes around the tree playing with his cap in his hand. Carl looks at me, I nod. He gets up and walks off back to the house. I look up at Shane and then stand up. It had been two days since our fight and we hadn't spoken since, I cried the past two nights not being able to sleep next to or kiss him.

"You okay?" He asks.

"Doing just fine all things considered."

"Can we talk about us?"

I sigh feeling like we're about to have the same conversation all over again.

"No. I said what I needed to say, Shane." I go to walk away but he grabs my wrist to stop me.

"Please."

"Everything okay here?" My dad asks walking up to us. Shane wasn't his favorite person at the moment seeing as Shane was the one who spoke up and suggested killing the walkers in the barn. That's when Daryl and Andrea agreed and then T-dog, eventually the group was outnumbered.

"Yeah, I was just trying to ask Jade to talk to Maggie. I know we ain't their biggest fans right now but maybe since she's friends with her..." Shane shrugs. I almost snort at the horrible lie. I would never use my friendship with Maggie to negotiate us staying here. I didn't want any of this to happen in the first place.