"How are you feeling?"
You don't know how many times you can be asked this question, and you don't know how many different ways to answer; yet you find a new way all the same. "Everything below my belly button hurts and I can't pee without crying; at least when i finally feel like peeing. And I wanna sleep for a week but I can't. And i'm constipated but I feel like if I try to shit my guts are gonna come out, so I'm good."
The nurse, just getting back from some last minute checks on Kaya, gives you a sympathetic face that does nothing to help the fact that you have stitches in your nether regions. Or that you currently feel like you're wearing a diaper because that's the only form of pad the hospital has right now.
You sent N'Jadaka to go buy you some extra-heavy overnights a while ago, solely so the drive home can be more comfortable for you. He's been acting so grossed-out about it all, although when you confronted him about it he seemed to be more uncomfortable with the fact that you are so uncomfortable rather than the subject itself.
The nurse keeps asking you more questions, almost more excited than you are that you and Kaya are going home. Truthfully, you keep bouncing between the two scenarios with a bit of doubt in your mind. Being in the hospital for two days comforted you in a way that you're going to miss once you go home. Like your hand is being held and now the rest is up to you. It provided a barrier from your more annoying relatives, although you aren't sure many of them actually know where you live anyway.
Still, thinking of the ride home has you stressed the hell out.
The nurse picks up on your nerves, shifting the conversation to the fact that you get to use all of the gifts that you got for the baby shower (both of them, since your coworkers threw you a small one as well). It helps you realize that all of the staff at the hospital were incredible to you and you're glad N'Jadaka's bougie paranoia put you in the nicest one in the county.
Or rather, your insistence did, because he wanted you to have a homebirth with some midwife that was going to fly in from Wakanda.
You're thinking about his royal cousins the entire checkout process, wondering if they particularly care to send you some cool Wakandan teddy bear or something; you have zero idea what babies in Wakanda even play with.
Maybe it's the knowledge that they're completely untouchable and better than America in every way.
By the time N'Jadaka shows back up you're completely ready to escape. You're happy you aren't wearing a hospital gown with your legs spread open and you're happy you aren't hooked up to machines anymore. Instead, you get to be wheeled out in an oversized tee shirt and some cotton shorts that are bright red just in case something shifts.
It's nice and hot outside, and it feels like the sun completely drains what little strength you have as N'Jadaka moves in to take Kaya from you. Predictably, the carseat hookup is in your truck, and you think the extra one might be given to your mother because the idea of your baby being anywhere near N'Jadaka's fast sports car gives you anxiety.
Him driving the two of you home gives you anxiety, but you don't say anything about it; just get in the backseat. Most of the post-hospital check out process is such a blur you don't really process it, too busy nodding off or looking at Kaya rather than pay attention. You just know that there are papers and pamphlets and numbers and references and the exasperated sigh from the driver's seat makes you snort.
"You good?" N'Jadaka asks, glancing at you through the rear-view.
"Nope," is your cheeky reply.
