It Will Rain~It 2017 Fanfiction

Waking Up/I Love You Too/Fear

     When I opened up my eyes again, I found myself in a room with white walls, and fluorescent lights. There was an annoying beeping near my head, and I turned my head to see a machine counting my heart rate, pulse, and blood pressure, and dimly realised I was in the hospital. I closed my eyes again, coughing weakly, and felt a warm hand slide into mine. A familiar voice whispered,"Liv, are you awake?" At that point, I wasn't sure how to answer, my body feeling numb and exhausted, and a faint ache in my chest, side, arm, and head. I muttered sleepily,"Maybe..I'm not a hundred percent sure right now", and a familiar laugh confirmed who was in the room with me. I opened my eyes again, and turned my head to the left, staring at Bev. I blinked, and asked,"Am I dreaming?" The smile on her face was quickly replaced by worry, and she replied,"No..Why?" I told her,"Because this is too good to be true. You and me alone in a room, and you not being disgusted by me." My voice cracked on the last few words, remembering everything that happened before I passed out, and gently moved my hand away from hers. "Shouldn't you be with Bill or something?" I couldn't meet her eyes, afraid of what I might see there, and she said in a hurt voice,"No. I needed to make sure you were okay. The doctors said I almost lost you, and that you kept screaming in your sleep." I frowned, and told her,"You don't have to worry about me, you know. I can take care of myself." She sighed, and whispered,"Do you want me to leave? Because I will, if that's what you really want."

       Immediately, I started panicking, the thought of being alone and the clown maybe coming for me too much to handle. "No! I mean..Please stay. I don't wanna be alone. I'm scared to be alone, in case-" She finished,"In case IT comes back for you?" I slowly nodded, ashamed to admit I was scared in front of her, and she said,"I'll stay, then." I slowly looked at her again, and found her gently tracing the bandage around my wrist with her fingers. She asked,"Why do you think you could never be half the hero Bill is?" I swallowed hard, and replied,"Because he saved me and Eddie. They distracted the clown, before you stabbed it, and I just sat there, until it was almost too late." She said,"But you tried to help Eddie. Bill told me..And you protected us..You protected me. Jumping on ITs back? I call that pretty heroic. You got hurt, and still wouldn't let go." I looked down at my blanket, and whispered,"Because I was trying to protect you, Bev. Not everyone else. When IT tried to go after you, I just- I couldn't let you get hurt. I know it's stupid, and..And it's wrong, but I can't help it. I really tried to ignore it, and to be happy that you were happy with Bill, but it just made me mad and hurt instead. It's selfish of me to want the one thing I can't have..Isn't it?" I looked at her, tears in my eyes, and she shook her head. "No, I don't think it is, Liv. You've been through so much shit alone, and stayed strong for too damn long. So wanting one big, important thing that matters to you? I think you deserve that. I think, out of all of us Losers, you deserve happiness the most. Bill lost his brother, but you got something that even a lot of people can't try to heal from; you got a broken heart. And I'm sorry for giving it to you."

       I shrugged, looking away again, and it was quiet in the room for a minute, before she asked,"Is this why you once asked me if I thought it was wrong for a girl to like another girl?" I quietly nodded, afraid that if I said anything, I'd burst into tears. She quietly whispered,"Oh..Fuck, Liv..I mean, you've said you love me, and Henry said it, but I never really thought about it." I said in a broken voice,"Yeah..But you can go back to Bill or whatever. I won't bother you anymore. I'll just..Act like a friend, okay?" Moments later, her warm, strong fingers turned my head to face her, and she said in a stern voice,"You listen to me, Olivia James. I don't give a damn if it's wrong in this town, or if our parents punish us for it..Loving someone is right, not wrong. And if they can't understand that, it's their fucking problem." I blinked, slowly realising what she said, and whispered,"Us?" She nodded, and whispered back,"Yeah..I love you too, Liv. I was just too stupid to admit it to myself. But almost losing you..That's when I knew that I loved you, as more than a friend. I want to make you happy, and protect you, and hold you when you're scared. I want you, Liv." By that point, I was in tears, and she gently wiped them away, looking worried again. "Liv, are you okay? I didn't say something wring, did I? I'm not so great at telling people how I feel, but you don't have to-"

     Before she could finish her sentence, I grabbed her by her overalls, and yanked her towards me, crushing my lips against hers. She didn't move for a second, then, gently, her lips moved back against mine. My heart pounded in my chest, and I gently pulled away, so we could both breathe. She laughed a bit, then said,"Wow..I wasn't expecting our first kiss to be in a hospital , or with a clown trying to kill us, but it was nice." I smiled a bit, and slipped my hand into hers. "I love you, Beverly Marsh." She gently pressed her lips to mt forehead, and said,"I love you too, Liv..You should probably get some rest now." I nodded, and slowly closed my eyes, planning to do just that, when I heard a familiar voice screaming outside the door to my room. Instantly, my eyes shot open again, and I began shaking. Bev glanced at the door, the color draining from her face, and we both looked at each other. I told her,"It's okay..You can let go of my hand, Bev." She shook her head, a determined expression on her face, and ,"Nope..If your dad has a problem with us, he can shove it up his ass." I began shaking more, the flashes of Bev lying dead in a bathtub, killed by my father, shot through my head. I quickly let go of her hand, and she looked both surprised and hurt. A female's voice said,"I'm sorry, sir, but you're not allowed in there. We found markings on Olivia that show that you-" My father shouted,"SHE'S MY CHILD, AND I'LL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT TO OR WITH HER!!" I flinched, having trouble breathing, and Bev grew more worried by the second.

      The door to the room slammed open, revealing my father standing there, his face purple with fury. His eyes locked on me, full of hatred and anger. He said,"You no good, pathetic, dyke! I know what you've been doing! You got what you deserved, and should have died! The world would be better off without your sorry ass!" At that moment, he noticed Bev, and an evil smile spread across his face. "So, the dyke and the slut are girlfriends now? I bet your daddy would love to hear about that.." I heard an alarm going off somewhere on the machine by my head, and started getting dizzy, my nightmare seeming to get closer to reality. My dad would tell Alvin Marsh, and Bev would be hurt or end up dead, because of me loving her.

    I felt my mouth moving, and felt someone holding me down, but I wasn't able to hear what I was saying. I saw Bev's face, soaked with tears above mine, a hand covering her mouth, and dimly realised I was shouting a bunch of threats, swear words, and things he'd done to me at him. I realised that I had never told Bev the full extent of the things my father did, and that she'd only seen a few things through my window, and began understanding the hurt and sick expression on her face. My father must have been shouting back at me, but I couldn't hear it over the pounding in my head. I was able to see a policeman take my father away, and a nurse rush in with a needle, and then, everything went dark again. The next time I opened my eyes, Bev was asleep in a chair beside me, her short hair sticking up everywhere, and I smiled a bit. I whispered,"Firecracker, you awake?" Her eyes fluttered open sleepily, and when she realised I was awake, she sat up quickly. She said,"Liv, I'm so sorry..I had no idea about those things he did to you, I swear. If I knew, I never would have-" I pressed my finger against her lips to shut her up, and sighed. "It's fine, Bev..He's gone now, and he can't hurt me anymore." She moved my hand away, and whispered,"You were so angry and scared..I thought you were having a seizure. I don't think I've ever seen you that terrified." I said,"That's because..My worst fear, the form IT took to scare me, was you being dead in a bathtub, and my Dad..He was the one who killed you, because I loved you. It was my fault.." She froze, and then climbed up on the bed beside me, hugging me. "That's never gonna happen, Liv. I promise..You'll never lose me, and if you did, it wouldn't be your fault. Okay?" I nodded, and the next thing I knew, she'd fallen asleep, her head on my chest, and I gently wrapped my arms around her, before closing my eyes, and falling asleep again..