the bird brain

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Qrows POV

I've allways been a solitary man, mostly the conclusion of my semblances ability to royalty mess up my life, while putting others under the stampede of shit that hits me, normaly I can minimize this by doing two things, avoiding people like it's my job, luckily for me being a solo hunter it literally was, the other thing was......
Getting apsolutly, hammered. Wasted. Pissed. You can pick your poison on what to call it, but simply, my normal life is a hangover, constantly feeling unstable, regret from the night before, and an inibility to show my face to anyone in fear of what they would think, while not caring at the same time. So obviously I want to avoid that. So in the words of some random birthday card "people ask me why I never get a hangover, simple. I never stop drinking."

That however is impossible in this world, for some reason the gods have not blessed this land with booze, I've been sober since the first morning.....

With her.

She's my second problem. More specifically, my feelings for her are the problem.

They're so genuine that they feel fake, I told myself, after summer.....

Left.

Although she went with Tai and  I respected her choice, And it didn't hurt to let her go, it hurt to see her leave. After her I knew I could NEVER recover, I've set myself on a lone journey.

And along the way I've met Winter,
I've learned that she, like me has her own problems, her father, her job, her aligences, she feels pressured to carry a chunk of the shnee name and atlas military on each shoulder, she's aggressive, far to formal for my liking, cold, possibly even harsh at times.

But over the last few days. She's been happy, laid back, warm, and kind, I've learned that she cares.

Winter cares about me, I don't know what to do, I've not seen her happyer, but every second I spend with her, I'm putting her at risk.

Gahhhh!!!!!!

What is wrong with me???
Do I want her?
Of course I do, I think I truly love her, but I hate myself for doing so.

I can't be with her.

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