A Letter From Heaven

Prologue; to you

«My dear Scarlett,

It's been 7 months since the day of your death and I still can't forget you. I know that in your reply you're going to say that I'm an idiot and should have moved on long ago, but I honestly can't do it despite all my efforts and it's your fault, my dear. You made me fall all in love with you a little too much.

I've finished the story that you loved so much and I've put the last chapter into the envelope with this letter. I hope you will enjoy reading it for I was thinking about you every single second while I was writing it.

How are you? Is it boring up there? I know that it's forbidden to describe this place but, at least, tell me if you're alright. I apologize for my huge curiosity, but I'm afraid there's nothing I can do with it. I love you too much, Scarlet. Too much to control it.

I miss you more than anything.

Forever yours,

Anthony»

After putting down the last full-stop, I sighed heavily and reached over for the neatly folded envelope, which was lying nearby. I put the letter, that I just finished writing, into it and added the promised chapter before closing the envelope, sticking the post stamp to it, opening the window and letting the wind deliver my letter to Heaven by the indicated address.

Today's weather was windy enough for my letter to be delivered quickly.

I stood up from my table and walked over to the opened window to let my eyes rest a bit. When I'm writing for a long time, my eyes start to sore and tear up so that I'm forced to take short breaks like this once in a while.

The view in front of me even managed to force a weak sad smile appear on my face. Skies, colored with the indescribably bright lively colors, made me remember of my dearest Scarlet whose hair were of the same bright ginger color and whose hair ribbon was of the same tender pink tint as that cloud over there.

I shook my head as if it could help me get these thoughts out of my head and continued to look at the oh-so-familiar landscapes as hundreds of letters were flying up to Heaven, held by the wind. I always thought that it was unbelievable. Even if your loved one is gone, you can simply write a letter to them and the wind will deliver it to Heaven just as it can deliver a letter from Heaven to you.

I wonder, has she received my letter already?

This was the way I was staying in touch with Scarlet. Every day, we would send at least 5 letters to each other. It has been continuing for 7 months already for this was the exact amount of time that passed since her death. She died, crossing the road to her house, which was situated in front of mine, when a drunk driver appeared out of the blue and hit her.

The love of my life, my world, my life, my light died in front of my eyes.

I still can't forget her. Scarlet was, without an exaggeration, my everything. I cherished each second I got to spend with her for those were the times that I felt so delight, so light and so in love, that no words in any language are enough to fully describe it. Being with her can only be compared to a walk with angels in the clouds. Now all these memories are burnt to ashes. My life shattered like a glass, everything went downhill and I turned into the unfortunate writer, who hated his own life with every single bit of his soul, and who had only one remained wish: to die.

In the past, Scarlet used to saved me from myself at dark moments like this. Now, there is no one by my side.

I stepped back from the window and headed to the kitchen to prepare some tea for myself.

To be honest, my life has always been this way, but when I was with Scarlet, I didn't notice that and even felt happiness. Scarlet filled every empty hole inside of me, but now all I feel is the void, that's eating me inside.

I want it to end. I'm tired. I miss Scarlet. I was waiting for 7 months for things to get better, but life isn't a fairy tale and the white rabbit won't come and take you to Wonderland, away from your pain and suffering.

I have already decided how I want to die.

In the drawer of my desk, there is a small back gun. Quick. Reliable. Simple. And mostly importantly, I won't be dying in an agonizing pain. What's the point of making yourself suffer if your main goal is to die anyway?

I may have wanted to die, but I have never wanted to suffer.

After the tea was ready, I headed back to my bedroom, where my working desk was.

In fact, there is just one reason, which is holding me back from ending it all.

In one of her letters, Scarlet said that I am allowed to kill myself only after I am convinced that this world is a terrible place with nothing good left in it and if I commit suicide earlier than this, she won't ever talk to me again. The problem is that so far, I'm only disappointed in my life but I'm not completely sure that the whole world is as disgusting as my life is.

This is how I got a task, which I had to complete before my death: I had to decide wether it's worth living in this world or not.

Putting the cup of tea down onto the desk, I noticed a light pink envelope lying down next to my pen. Impatiently, I reached over for it and opened it only to see a letter with just 3 short lines:

«Anthony, you're an idiot. But you're my idiot and I love you.

Forever yours,

Scarlet»