Next morning I woke up with a terrible headache because of falling asleep almost when the sun started rising.
I get headaches quite often recently because of the lack of fresh air and an unhealthy style of life.
I turned on the other side in my cold empty bed and closed my eyes, avoiding the sun rays. I breathed in Scarlet's scent that my pillows still had and tried to imagine that she wasn't gone to another world, but instead just got up to go to the kitchen to have a glass of water. Just a few more minutes and she'll come back to me, kissing me on the forehead and telling me that it's time to get up...
Perhaps, the most masochistic thing one can ever do is torture themselves with imagining things that their heart dreams of every single day but what will never happen.
My only ways to talk to Scarlet ever again is to write her a letter...as well as using the gun in the cupboard of my desk.
Shaking my head to get rid of such thoughts, I finally got up from the bed to write a morning letter to Scarlet as I usually do. It has become an habit in the past 7 months.
Sitting down, I reached over for a pen and a blank paper before starting to write:
«My dear Scarlet,
I hope that you're doing well....I doubt that anything could go wrong up there though.
Yesterday I visited the festival that I told you about. It went well in general so I'm grateful for your idea. I accidentally met one interesting young girl, whom I shared one of the most unusual conversations I ever had with. I think you would like her too if you were here.
Also, I couldn't fall asleep yesterday. I think I should start taking some medicine because my insomnia is not letting me rest at all. I hate it when your own mind is not letting you sleep. It feels as if you've gotten into your own trap and can't get out. Such a weird and nasty feeling.
If possible, I would choose not to tell you all the details. I don't like worrying you. I know that I can tell you anything I want but I sincerely don't want to worry you too much.
I love you.
Forever yours,
Anthony»
Putting the letter into the envelope carefully, I threw it out to the wind, watching it take my letter away towards Scarlet until it disappeared out of my sight completely.
I was still thinking about my words about mind traps and getting caught in it as I mentioned it in my letter. This thought was rather random and unexpected but these words were worth being used in one of my stories. Besides, it's an interesting theme to think about.
Our mind indeed has something in common with traps. Some people get caught, lucky ones don't. As you could already tell, I wasn't Luck's favorite.
Traps that I'm talking about are different for each person. For some people, this trap is sorrow, guilt, pain, self consciousness, fear or even hate sometimes. After getting trapped, people change. Someone's minds wreck in two, someone becomes suicidal, someone becomes obsessed with something - it's all different for everyone.
A trap is a chain that's not letting you move on. You get stuck in the same emotions, thoughts, events, songs, films, books...Time goes on, but you stay still.
I am trapped too.
I reached over for my black notebook and wrote down the word "trap" as the next reason.
Finally, I rose up and went to the bathroom to wash up and then change into a white shirt and black jeans.
Suddenly a strong wind blew into the room, the curtains trembled because of it and a small peachy envelope landed on my working desk.
It was Scarlet.
Quickly opening the envelope, I started reading the letter.
«My dear Anthony,
You're an idiot. Honestly, you're a complete idiot if you think so. I love you more than anyone else in this whole universe, you can tell me absolutely anything at any time. Don't forget, I'm watching over you. I will get angry if you keep thinking so because I truly care about you and I think that I do deserve your trust. Yes, I miss you a lot. But seeing you any time soon is the last thing I'd ever wish for. Believe me.
By the way, you said that you think that since I'm in Heaven then nothing can go wrong.
My feelings are still with me though. I can still be upset, cry or worry. Death is not a cure to pain as most people think, Anthony. When you die, you just hand this pain to someone else. I handed my pain to you what I feel insanely guilty for.
Please, think about it.
P.S. yesterday my great-grandmother Helen found me. Please kill me again.
Forever yours,
Scarlet»
I smiled softly because of how Scarlet could make me feel better even after her death. She is indeed an incredible woman.
I was about to take my pen and write her a letter in reply, when suddenly I heard my doorbell ring.
Rushing to the door, I opened it hurriedly and saw a woman in her 30s with long brown hair and blue eyes with wrinkles around them. She looked strangely familiar but I couldn't remember where I could have seen her.
"Good morning." I said
"Good morning!" She replied, smiling softly "I'm sorry for bothering you but we are your new neighbors and we just wanted to say hello."
"We?" I asked in surprise
She was about to reply when suddenly, a very familiar face peaked out from behind her leg.
"Yes. My mother and I." The girl who I met on the festival said before remembering me "You?!"
"You?!" I exclaimed in reply
"You are that old guy with pink cotton candy!"
"I'm not old!"
An uncomfortable silence fell upon us as both Elizabeth and me continued to look at each other with disbelief and pure shock. I must notice that her mother was just as shocked as we were...
Well what else can I say...we definitely weren't going to forget this encounter any time soon.
BINABASA MO ANG
A Letter From Heaven
General Fiction«My dear Scarlett, It's been 7 months since the day of your death and I still can't forget you. I know that in your reply you're going to say that I'm an idiot and should have moved on long ago, but I honestly can't do it despite all my efforts and...
