The Faded Spark | TID #1

Chapter 23

It was never my intention, to fall in love once again. It's not because I am afraid to the concept itself, but it's because I am afraid . . . afraid to fall for the wrong person, again.

I wasn't looking for anything nor someone after the chaos. But then Zachary suddenly came into my life. He found me when I was lost. He found me at my lowest point. His existence made me think twice. Am I ready to fall in love again? Am I ready to feel the burning pain of love? I never thought I am ready, but he made me feel alive. And I know, he's kind of worth it to take the risk.

One thing's for sure. Falling for Zach is like I'm in a quicksand. The more I fight to get out, the deeper I fall in.

So I decided to quit fighting against it and let myself fall for him.

"Senti mode on si Renae! Akala mo nasa isang music video!"

I neglected Alliah's remark as I twisted the tiny stem of the yellow Tulip. My attention was drawn to its vibrant fragile petal. Up until now, I haven't asked Zach why he's giving me a Tulip. A yellow one to be precise. Maybe I'll ask him later. Sana lang ay hindi ko makalimutan. Maingat kong ibinalik ang Tulip sa maliit na vase nasa bedside table. Bumalik din kaagad ako sa pagkaka-upo.

"Snobber si Ate! Famous! Pa-fan-sign naman?"

Pumalumbaba ako sa aking drafting table, si Manong Rudy pa ang gumawa nito. Napadako ang tingin ko sa bintana, kunyari'y hindi naririnig si Alliah. I sighed as I watched the raindrops fell down on the windowpane. It was raining hard, the reason why the classes was suspended, and of course the examination week was moved.

Hindi ko ba alam kung matutuwa ako na na-move ang exam o hindi. Dahil suspended sa napakalakas ng buhos ng ulan, hindi ko tuloy makikita ang . . . boyfriend ko. Pinamulahan ako sa huling naisip.

Yesterday was like paintings of Salvador Dalí. It was surreal, it's like I'm in between of reality and fantasy. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na kami na nga ni Zachary.

Wait . . . ganito rin ang pakiramdam ko ng maging kami ni Xander, right?

"Hello?! Earth to Renae? Kilala mo pa ba ako, Renae?" Alliah snapped her fingers in front of me. Making me came back to reality, away from my thoughts.

"Ano na naman?"

"Akala ko tuluyan ka nang natuliro, e! Ano bang nangyari kagabi? Bakit parang pag-uwi mo hindi ka na makausap ng maayos?"

She squinted her eyes at me, tila pilit na binabasa ang nasa utak ko. Pabiro akong napairap sa kan'ya.

Kaya siya ganito kasi hindi ko pa nasasabi sa kan'ya na kami na nga ni Zach.

"Bakit pakiramdam ko, may itinatago ka sa akin?" her voice was lace with sulk and hurt.

Napanguso ako sa kan'ya at kaagad siyang niyakap.

"Kasi ano . . ."

Hindi naman sa ayaw kong sabihin sa kan'ya ang relasyon namin ni Zach. It's just that, I'm a little bit shy.

"Kasi ano?"

"Kasi . . . kami na ni Zach," I said, almost a whisper. I looked up to her to see her reaction.

Nakataas lang ang kilay nito sa akin, parang hindi nabigla sa sinabi ko.

"Ano? Iyan lang reaksyon mo? Wala ka bang ibang sasabihin?"

Nagkibit balikat lamang ito dahilan para umangat din ang kamay kong nakapulupot sa baywang niya. Kinalas ko iyon at ipinatong ang siko sa drafting table. Itinagilid ko ang ulo ko habang nakatingin sa kan'ya.

" 'Yan na 'yon?"

Alliah rolled her eyes at me. "Expected ko na 'yan, kung maglandian kayo wagas, e! Kaya hindi na ako nagulat, akala ko pa nga matagal nang kayo!"