BYLER | I Dare You to Break a Heart

Ch. 21: Step 1: Find Out and Accept Who You Are

Mike grabbed the brass handle and pulled forward opening himself into the quiet hangout that smelled of old pages and wood. He took a breath in and basked in its aroma. It literally smelled like the most peaceful place in the world.

'Damn, I should come here more often...' he thought to himself.

However, soon Mike shifted his glance to the lady at the counter and his spirits were driven away. He cringed, having second thoughts. The lady looked his mother's age and somehow had an extremely passive-aggressive vibe to her. Looked pretty judgemental too. The boy rolled his eyes. Just his luck...

Mike took a deep breath and shuffled his way to the counter where he waited awkwardly, his hands shoved into his pockets. The lady was sitting in a chair casually turning pages in a book she was reading. Mike waited for her to notice her for a few seconds before promptly clearing his throat.

"What." The woman replied, without lifting a glance away from her book.

"Sorry for disturbing you ma'am, I just um... I need some help finding something."

The woman sat her book down and gave Mike her attention. This being said, she still looked massively annoyed, "what're ya looking for, kid?"

"I need to find something for... a book that like has an explanation for... um." Mike looked to the left and right ensuring no one was looking. Eventually, he turned back to the woman who was glaring at him now. Mike sighed and swallowed hard, "I need um... a book on sexualities and the queer community."

The woman behind the counter squinted at Mike and crossed her arms. She stayed put, glaring at the uncomfortable boy with beady eyes. Mike's palms were sweating. All he wanted to do was tell her to never mind, he was just kidding but he knew that if he was going to learn how to accept himself, he needed to learn to accept the fact that not all others will.

Finally, the woman spoke with a voice like ice, "why?"

Mike balled his hands into fists, "I dunno, is that really your business?"

The woman looked taken aback at Mike's sudden attitude, her eye's widened with shock, "excuse me? Who do you think you are, young man, talking to your elders like that? Do you speak to your mother like that? Speaking of which, does she know you're here? Looking for books like that?" She challenged like a stealthy cat.

Mike smirked, "actually yeah, she does. It's for a science project. I'm trying to find what genes have to do with it. Now it's my turn to ask the questions. Does your boss know you're here kicking your legs up, making customers wait for your convenience and then treating them with immense disrespect as soon as you give them your attention? And did you know about that camera over there" Mike pointed at the camera right above them "that's recording everything that happens here so if I decided to ever confront him about the issue, I'll have solid proof and you'll be fucking fired?"

The librarian stared at Mike it total disbelief, her jaw halfway to the floor. Mike put his hands on the counter and smiled kindly at her.

"So I'm gonna try his again. Hello Mrs. Librarian. Can you please show me where I can find some books on sexualities and the queer community?"

The woman wore a tight glare but quickly shifted it into the fake stage smile Mike had ever seen, "sure sir," she spoke with poison "the gay section is over there. With the education novels," her voice came out slimy and ingenuine but it was answer at least. Mike thanked her and headed on his way.

He looked through the shelves and could unfortunately only find one book. The spine was colourfully decorated with rainbow stripes and a fun font that spelled out 'Who Am I Really? - a book explaining what it means to truly be yourself. To truly be Queer!' Mike blushed in embarrassment as he placed his index finger on the spine. The boy looked from his left to right and quickly slid the book out from its slot.