Chapter 16 Losing it

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At first he was surprised by my bold move but soon caught on as our lips moved in sync, finding eachother's rhythm. After that it got really heated and I was lifted unto his desk as he kissed me like there was no tommorow, like my breath was the last breath he would ever take. My hands found their way to his hair as I had no idea where this side of me was coming from. This was so unlike me so ... Ethan! I was acting just like Ethan and it both scared and amazed me that I had this side to me. Since I've never been able to look or talk to any guy for basically my whole life I never thought I would know how to act around one , but I guess they knew exactly how to coax this side out of me.

Keeping my thoughts solely on Jacob this time , he started trailing hot kisses down my jawline meeting the nape of my neck. This was so unlike Jacob but I liked this side of him way more. Feeling his hands fumble with the hem of my shirt , I pulled back panting as I took a hold of his hand in mine.

"Wait ." I said trying to catch my breath.

"Oh , I um ... I'm sorry." Jacob said feeling guilty as he pulled back and I grabbed his hand again.

"No , it's not that . It's just ... I don't want to get pregnant that's all." I said , tugging a loose piece of my hair behind my ear.

"So you want to ?" He questioned unsure to which I smiled at how he was being such a gentleman about this.

"Yes Jacob. We just need to be more safe that's what I meant. " I smiled as he suddenly picked me up while I wrapped my legs around his waist.

"Then we better take this upstairs. " he said giving me a wink while I hid my blushing face into his chest.

****
I woke up to him smiling down at me adoringly . "Were you watching me sleep ?" I asked , looking up at him .

"Maybe. " He said laughing while I felt his chest vibrate underneath me from his laughter. "Creep" I said playfully as I unfolded myself from his hold, wrapping the covers around my body "I think I need a shower now." I said with a laugh sitting up while he did the same.

"Make that two." He said , lifting me up into his arms bridal style and placing me in the shower letting the warm water hit my sore body.

After our shower , he dressed as it was just about the time for him to get to work too. So giving me a kiss goodbye he left while I stayed behind starting to clean up my mess . I threw the covers to the ground while taking the stained sheets off and throwing them in the wash along with our clothes from last night.

The rest of the day I spent lounging in the living room - since I couldn't do anything else - so Netlix was pretty much my companion for the next 7 to 8 hours.

Hearing keys jingle and the front door open , I jumped up - or slowly stood up for that matter - thinking it was Jacob , only to be met with a confused Ethan.

"Ethan ! Um , hi !" I said awkward, not expecting it to be him being home so early.

"Yeah...hi." he said confused , probably by my strange behavior. Who could blame him ? I was pretty much acting like a complete weirdo.

"You hungry? " I asked , trying to change the subject away from my blushing face.

"Yeah , sure." He said as I tried my best to walk as normally as I could towards the kitchen. But I definitely didn't do a good enough job since I got some pretty weird looks for him . It was my own fault for being so innocent and inexperienced! Had I rebelled this wouldn't have been my first and I wouldn't have been doing the walk of shame right now. Yet , he didn't say a word about it to which I was grateful for. So instead, I avoided the topic all together and gave him his food.

"Would you mind if I went and took a shower? " I asked uncomfortably, not really sure why I was asking his permission in the first place. But it got me out of here sooner so I didn't do anything to prolong this extreme awkwardness.

"Sure." He said nonchalant, taking a bite from the chicken while I said nothing and made my way upstairs before Jacob came home. I showered as fast as I could - wanting to be there when he got home - so I didn't have time to do all of the extra nitty-gritties I usually did . Getting out and dressed I could here them both talking downstairs. No scratch that . Fighting downstairs . Cursing under my breath , I quickly threw on some sweatpants and a crop top. I thought we were passed the fighting already!?

Rushing down the stairs I could start to hear the conversation more clearly now .

"I can't believe you fricking took her virginity!?" An angry Ethan yelled while I halted in my steps hearing what the fighting was all about.

"I didn't take it you ass ! She gave me her consent!" Jacob yelled back while I sat down on the steps hearing them fight back and forth about what happend last night. To think I was so happy when I came downstairs and now ... now they were making me feel guilty for having enjoyed myself last night.

"And what if I wanted that to be me !?"

"Oh come on Ethan , we both knew that it could only be one of us to take it. So don't act like you didn't have a chance. "

"Chance? You mean the night her father practically told her that she meant nothing to him but a go between us ? Yeah Jacob that was my chance. Because I DON'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF GIRLS !" Ethan yelled, making me flinch.

"So you're saying I took advantage of her ? That's rich coming from you -"

"Enough !" I yelled , finding myself in the doorway while their eyes landed on me. "If I thought that I would only be a trophie to whoever could get me in bed first. I would've lost it years ago !" I said , turning around and going up to my room. I didn't even care that they were calling after me , they had hurt my feelings and there was no way they could fix this. They made me feel bad for losing my V to someone I was married to. And for actually enjoying it regardless of whether or not I knew what I was doing. They made me feel like a worthless piece of trash and I hated them for it.

I hated them BOTH for making me feel this way. And nothing they said or did could change this.

I don't know how I quite feel about this one 🤔never really writen a chapter like this one before. PLUS I wrote this one the same day as the previous chapter so I'm still pretty much sick 🤒 But I hope you all enjoyed this anyway. Thank you so much for reading. Remember to leave your thoughts in the comment section below. Until next time, keep howling my wolves. ❤🐺

//updates every Thursday //

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