The Untold Story

S3.23_broken

Chapter 23

The flaring eyes were glaring at her, making Soo hold her breath in astonishment. She could tell the emperor had been awake, for more than was her good. The question asked was not because he didn't hear her clearly. No, it was the complete opposite.

"What did you just say?"The emperor repeated through gritted teeth. Her fingertips slowly turned colder.

"Your majesty-" her words came out shaking. "I-"

His grip around her wrist tightened, causing Soo let out a painful yelp. She had no idea what could make him so angry. Wandering through her train of thoughts Soo then realized what was going on.

He is different from how she remembered. It was those words. It was those words which triggered him.

The emperor remembers.

Soo's eyes moved from the hand that was holding hers to the angry eyes that were piercing through her. The emperor's eyes sharpened, his gaze held alarming intent. For long she had not seen that dangerous expression appearing in his face.

That's why he had been cautious of me. He remembers everything, including the past and... her...

Now, she understood why the emperor had been acting like he had, why he had been cold towards her. It was because he remember it all. Every single thing. Every single memory.

How ironic.

She was previously rejected for being a mere shadow and now she was suffering for the same reason. Well, maybe not in same sense but still similar. Before she was neglected because she wasn't Ha Jin, now she was resented cause someone actually mistook her for being Ha Jin. Soo could only mentally laugh at the irony.

Fate just never allowed Soo to have a peaceful life. The more she thought the more disbelieved she became.

Why did all her knots of misery always come back to the person that had nothing to do with? What had she done to Ha Jin in her previous life, to force her fate to continuously be locked with Ha Jin's? It didn't take long before Soo was crossing the bridge to insanity.

Slowly, a sick thought sneaked upon her. If Ha Jin really was the root of all the suffering so why not let it be. If her whole life was to remain in the dark and that everyone would only remember the girl from the future then so it be.

In her mind of rage Soo didn't realize that she was jealous. She didn't know how this evil emotion was whispering wicked thoughts into her mind and threatened to let those sick plans into action. She hated Ha Jin to the core, and screw whoever that would blame her for that.

She had been patience, trying her best to live up to the expectation of a good person, but for everything there is a limit. And that was where she was standing.

Soo knew she wasn't in her right mind and that her coming action might be anything but rational. Yet, she couldn't help it. She wanted to turn every rational thoughts off and just let her storm of anger overflow.

Jealousy had eaten her up and resentment had blinded her judgment. If she was being punished for being someone she wasn't then let anyone blame her for losing her grip.

"Your... your majesty remember too?" Soo said innocently.

Every letter was as a knife pricking at the emperor's heart.

His grip loosened, his finger released its touch around her wrist, leaving the red skin exposed. The emperor's eyes narrowed, his look of both astonishment and disbelief. Her reaction told him that she also had no idea that he remembered the past. But what more stunned him, was the fact that Soo deliberately avoided him despite remembering.

She to a reserved place and stayed at the mountain. She intentionally cut off all chances for them to met each other, thinking that the past would rewind as it has passed. She once left him, but now knowing there was a chance to resurrect the things she chose to leave.

The thought made the emperor speechless, while the pain didn't fail to show in his eyes. He wouldn't know that another soul resided that body, hence could only feel the agony of being oblivious.

Soo wanted him to think that she was Ha Jin. After all she had been suffering from being Ha Jin' picture. She knew how much the emperor cherished that woman, and was sure he would never do anything to hurt her. That she was confident in, painfully confident.

She could be wicked and cunned but the man would not have the heart to hurt her. He would not. Maybe he could be cold when thinking she didn't remember. Then, he would have the right to feel resentment. But now, knowing she remembers everything, he wouldn't have the heart to hurt her. Not after what she had been though.

Although this didn't meant that he wouldn't feel hurt, and for sure the emperor was broken. his eyes said it all.

Soo thought she would feel a sense of satisfaction. She thought she would feel refreshed upon seeing the hurt expression gracing the man's face. Just as he had hurt her, she thought she would feel better when making him pay, but far from it. She felt terrible.

"You remember everything and hid from me on purpose?" The emperor asked.

"I just wanted to have peaceful life, is that such a sin?" Soo nonchalantly asked, shielding her sadness with fake pretentious. Although she only spoke of the truth, it wasn't meant in the same sense. The emperor would think that it was Ha Jin who wanted to start a new life. He would think that the girl had got enough of him and was trying to live a life in which he wasn't included.

Soo intended to make him feel hurt, and no doubt, the emperor was heartbroken.

"No, it's no sin to want a peaceful life," The Emperor spoke with sadness in his eyes.

"If just I've could think of myself like you, then probably I wouldn't feel what I am right now."

After saying those words the emperor walked away, with no one to hold him back. Soo could only watch his figure decrease till he no longer was in her blurry sight of view. As the man was gone she felt terrible, the tears ran down her eyes while the pain stuffed her chest. She knew she was cruel, that she had done something that she shouldn't have.

Soo realised the emperor has been broken and that everything in history had probably changed because he wanted to save her from the tragedy. He gained the throne and got in power just to protect her from death.

Much more, although being cautious of her, the emperor had probably also held back on purpose cause he was afraid to hurt her. Again.

He tried to protect her and build the trust in her but now everything was ruined like a sandcastle meeting the merciless waves. She had ruined everything he had tried to build.

Soo had smeared the reputation of Ha Jin in the Emperor's heart, and hurt him in the process. She was evil and thick-skinned and had no right to lift her head and face the people around her. She was a terrible person and she knows it.

But would people know how she had tried to fight herself, how many times she had fought the urge to let go of her sanity and act reckless and wild? How much she had to refrain herself from being jealous of a person she couldn't rival?

She was not a stone without heart. She was no god who could only act with righteous and benevolence. She was only human. A human who felt pain and happiness. Jealousy and fear. She also was a woman with had a heart. She just wanted to love and be loved.

Bitter tears ran down her cheeks. Soo didn't even know if she had the right to cry but the tears just ran although she tried to make them stop.

A/N:. I just want to say that I have written and deleted like four drafts before coming up with this chapter and I didn't want to post just for the sake of posting.

I am Sorry for the long wait and I promise to upload very soon cause I already have a scenario now. Thanks for being patience and I am so grateful for your support 💛

Btw, how stupid am I to only notice at episode 10 that junk I was a cameo in episode 3 of hotel del Luna? Are you freaking kidding how could I have missed that part?!?