Just For A Laugh [FredXHarry]

Dolores Umbridge

*insert usual disclaimer here* I'm not really following the book in this one, it's more of my own introduction to the old toad...

Fred POV

"What do you mean, she works for Fudge?" Fred asked as soon as the twins' dormitory door closed. "I mean, she was in the courtroom. She works for the Ministry. She's Fudge's second in command or something." Harry said. Fred was totally stunned. Dumbledore has hired a Ministry employee, someone close to Fudge nonetheless, to teach Defence. She was not good news at all. He was furious at Dumbledore for hiring such a hag, stunned at the old toad for insinuating that she was going to take over the school, and overall annoyed that they had such a devious DADA teacher. It was Harry's OWL year, and his and George's NEWT year. With a teacher from the Ministry, they'd never pass. "I'll bet she's got some sick punishment in mind for kids who don't behave." George said. "Yeah. Probably bring back the thumbscrews or something." Fred agreed. Harry sighed and sat on Fred's bed, which had as usual been stretched to king sized. "I don't know. Maybe she just won't let us use magic full stop." Fred and George gawped at him. "What, she's just gonna make us pass through theory? Fat chance." George said. "Whatever. She's not good news, either way." Harry sighed as he changed into pyjamas. "Ron and Hermione should be back soon. I'll go and see them before bed, ask them what they think." The twins bid him goodbye as he left the room. "I can't believe Dumbledore would hire someone that high up in the Ministry, though." Fred said. George held up his hand. "Wait. Wasn't Dumbledore at Harry's hearing?" He said. Fred recalled what Harry had said, about how Dumbledore had come to his rescue. "Yeah, he was. So that means-!"
"- Dumbledore knows who that Umbridge woman works for! He's double crazy!" George finished. "Blimey, what was he thinking? Willingly hiring someone from the Ministry!" George sighed as he pulled a polo shirt over his head. "Well, nothing can be done now. We'll just have to wreak as much mischief as possible for the time being." He said with a sly grin in Fred's direction, which he returned. "We're gonna make her life hell."

The next day saw Fred and George's first lesson with Umbridge. "Good morning, children." She said in her sickly sweet voice. There was a low murmur of welcome. "Well, that won't do now, will it? Good morning children!" There was a chorus of "morning Professor Umbridge." Which the twins ignored. Instead, Fred nudged George. "Oi, reckon we can get detention in the first five minutes?" George grinned.
"First one to get kicked out gets to choose the colour of the next product." Fred returned George's grin. "You're on."
"Boys, is there something more worth your time than this lesson?" Umbridge said beside them. The twins exchanged a grin. "No, Professor. Please continue." They said in unison, innocent smiles on their faces. Umbridge walked over to her desk and checked the register. "You'll be Fred and George, I assume?" She said, her smile becoming more strained. Fred smiled sweetly. "Actually, our names are Gred and Forge." He said. Several people snickered around the room. Umbridge took a deep breath and decided to ignore Fred's comment. "This term you will be following a Ministry-approved text, as per the new guidelines. You can all put your wands away and take your quills out- no magic is to be used in my class." The room went so silent you could hear a quill drop. "We're not gonna use magic at all?" Lee said. Umbridge turned away from him. "Students will raise their hands if they wish to speak in my class." She said. George thrust his hand into the air. "Yes, Mr Weasley?" George leaned across Fred and held the book they had been given up. "How are we supposed to pass our NEWT if we don't practise the actual spells? There is a practical exam, you know." Umbridge smiled sweetly at him. "I'm sure you will be able to pass both your practical and theoretical examinations if you study the book as instructed." She said, giving her girlish laugh before walking away. "You will read the first chapter, and copy it out word for word. I expect it done by the end of the class." Fred and George huffed as they took out their parchment. "This is daft. How can she expect us to pass our exams using nothing but a book?" Fred said. "Agreed. Dunno what the bloody hell the Ministry were thinking."
"Hem hem. Mr Weasley and Mr Weasley, please refrain from talking, or I will have to put you both in detention." The twins exchanged a smirk. "Back to our bet?" Fred said.
"You're on."