Be There

And nothing hurts when I'm alone, When you're with me and we're alone

“I wanna be alone
Alone with you - does that make sense?
I wanna steal your soul
And hide you in my treasure chest”

She was sure she looked terrible, eyes red and puffy from too much crying, but she also knew that he wanted to see her, to know what happened. She pulled away enough to let him see her, but she didn’t look at him or move from her spot on his lap. The Reyyan from this morning would find it shameful, her wrapped up in him, on a bed, alone . But that girl didn’t know what was going to happen to her, and she couldn’t admit that maybe Miran was the only person that truly knew her. 

When she finally looked up at him she could see that hedidn’t find anything shameful. He did look appropriately concerned, but she could tell by the flush of his cheeks that he had some inappropriate thoughts too. He sort of always looked at her like he wanted to eat her, so she became somewhat used to it. But now he was looking at her with such love , like they were both exactly where they were always meant to be. 

“Reyyan. What happened?” he tilted his head down to hers and brushed a few curls away from her face. 

He was calmer than he ever had been after finding her when she ran away, and she knew it was because she reached out to him for comfort instead of running or picking a fight. He deserved an answer.

“Me and Mavi ran away from home.” she wasn’t ready to say the truth out loud yet.

He smiled like he couldn’t help it. 

“I noticed. And you left your phone at home too.” I missed you. I worried about you.

“I’m sorry. I left kind of suddenly.” I didn’t mean to ignore you. I didn’t mean for you to worry.

“Will you tell me why?” Who hurt you? What did they do?

She bit her lip and nodded, looking up at him from under wet lashes. His hand shook as he brushed her tears with his thumb and she knew it was from restraining himself. The old Miran would have been screaming, accusing, hitting things, demanding answers. But this Miran was trying to be better for her. He wasn’t making it about his feelings, so she felt comfortable enough to share hers.

“I overheard Azat Abi talking to Babam this morning.” she began quietly.

She felt his whole body tense when she said his name, but he clenched his jaw and kept quiet.

“I’m-. They said that I’m-. My father isn’t my real father. They lied to me my whole life.” she had to pause between sentences as the full meaning of her words hit her.

He would have taken a step back if he hadn’t been sitting on the bed with her as he was. She could feel his body recoil in shock. Her eyes were locked on his. He was searching for truth in hers and he found it.  

“You’re not a Şadoglu.” he whispered more to himself than to her. 

“No. I’m no one.” she looked down at her fingers fiddling with the fabric of her dress.

“Everything I did, all the pain I caused you was for a lie.” he was processing out loud.

“My whole life is a lie, Miran. I never belonged anywhere, and now I know why.” she knew she was being pitiful, but she had a right to be.