Be There

And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be

“I'll use you as a warning sign

That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind

And I'll use you as a focal point

So I don't lose sight of what I want

And I've moved further than I thought I could

But I missed you more than I thought I would”

Her eyelids flew open at a sudden and ear splitting sound. She felt fear seep into her bones from she knew not what, but she was paralyzed in bed waiting for something . Her eyes found the door and the window next to it. Miran . 

She heard it again. A gunshot. 

No!

She ripped the covers off her body and stumbled to the floor on shaky legs.

“Miran!” she rasped a scream as she ran to the door.

Her hands shook as she twisted the lock, panic and the last dregs of sleep making it difficult to open. When she heard the click she whipped the door open to run outside. If she were in her right mind she would have thought about how reckless it was to run toward gunfire, or about how contradictory it was to want to rescue a man who left her for dead. But she wasn’t in her right mind so her heart ruled instead. 

She expected to be met with some horrifying scene, but she was instead met with a strong back and wide shoulders. She gasped when she collided with the back of him. It took her a moment to register that he wasn’t lying on the cold ground in a puddle of his own blood, but standing right there in front of her. He reacted much quicker, moving his arms out from his sides to shield and prevent her from going any further toward danger. 

“Miran?” she whispered as she ran her palms over the muscles in his back, searching for wounds. 

“Stay back, inside.”

She was about to ask what the hell was going on, when she saw her father, or rather Hazar , standing directly in front of them. He had his right arm extended to the side, the gun still hot in his hand. She quickly deduced that he had come for her and met with opposition. In the past she would have felt relieved; that no one was hurt, that her father had come to get her. Now she was just angry. What right did every single man in her life have to squabble over her and wave their guns around? She was sick of being treated like a little lamb; shepherded around, sold to the highest bidder, sacrificed to the lion. That’s what they thought of her. That she was a young, innocent, stupid creature that needed protecting or directing. She’d had enough.

“Miran, let me through.” her anger fueling her determination.

“Kuzum? I’m here. We can go home.” Hazar met her eyes and lowered his gun, the hard look on his face melted into relief as he put his gun away.

“Miran.” she uttered his name like a plea as she placed her hand on his shoulder in reassurance.

He hesitantly stepped to the side to let her through, but remained close. The lamb had tamed the lion. 

“Babam? Come, your mother and I have been worried sick.” Hazar reached out for her hand, but she moved back and stared at him even more intensely.

“I’m not going anywhere.” her voice was firm and his face was crestfallen.

“Because of him?” Hazar’s eyes shifted to Miran before returning to her. 

She shook her head.

“Because of me . Because I want to be here. Because I don’t want to live in that house anymore.” tears were threatening to fall but she stubbornly held them back.

“Daughter, what happened? I-”

“Don’t call me that!” the force of her words stunned both men. 

“I don’t-” 

“I’m not your daughter. I heard you and Azat this morning. Does everyone know? Has everyone been lying to me my whole life?”

“Reyyan, I...We wanted to tell you.”

“But you didn’t. You let me believe that those horrible people where my family. That I should love them, that they would protect me, that they were the honor I should die for.” her tears spilled out, but she didn’t care.

Both men stood in shameful silence. The guilt of what they had done to her, and not done for her sat stagnant around them like a fog. 

“I’m not going back. Don’t try to find me again.” the heat from her cheeks dried each of her tears as they rolled down. 

Hazar must have understood just from the look in her eyes, because he didn’t try to fight or argue or defend himself. He blinked back a few tears and then lowered his head before turning and walking down the steps. 

She kept her back straight and her face stern as she watched her father walk back to his car and drive off down the dirt road, back to the only home she had ever known. Her tears came faster the further he went until he was gone and she couldn’t breathe. 

But Miran was there. 

He had been there for her in times, and in ways that no one else had. She had been told so many lies that it was hard to decipher what was real, true . He was real. He was the one who caught her before she collapsed on the porch. His heart beat against her chest was the truth.  

He was hugging her tight, holding her up really, and she could feel herself calming. When she had calmed enough he stepped back a little to look at her face. He brushed her tears away and held her face like he had many times before. She looked into the eyes of the man who ruined her life and saw the man who had put it back together again, who still was. She chose to come here, she confronted her father, she chose to stay. And he chose her . Over and over again he proved with his actions that she was his priority, over everything. 

“Stay with me?” she whispered.

“Yes. Always.” he answered.

She reached for his hand and led him inside their cabin.