Be There

And this is the world as I see it now, Turns out that nothing is fair

“Endless distraction, you worry me

But I'm trying to figure out how

You don't have to make any promises, love

I'm afraid I might die for you now

And I'd kill just to watch as you're sleeping

I hope that you'll let me, in time

You don't have to call me yours, my love

Damn it, I'm calling you mine!”

It took him a while to get comfortable out on the porch. Not because the cushions were uncomfortable or because he was outside under the stars, but because his mind was restless. Her beauty and proximity had momentarily dulled his senses, so what she told him hadn’t really sunk in yet. 

“My father isn’t my real father. They lied to me my whole life.”

She was not Hazar’s daughter. The revenge that consumed his whole life was for nothing. He knew that already of course. Revenge destroyed them both; their lives, their relationship, everything they ever thought they wanted. He already knew that he regretted it, that it didn’t serve to cool his heart or clear his head. But now that he knew he hurt her, when it all could have been prevented, when things could have been sodifferent, it made him furious.

Who else knows? Who else has known? Who has been lying to her, to us our whole lives?

She implied that her whole family knew. If that many people could live every day next to her and not tell her, then what else were they hiding? Hazar implied that he knew more about his mother and how she was treated by the Aslanbeys than he was told. Sultan said outright that his father abused his mother, but then back peddled. He knew he was missing pieces of the puzzle, but now he didn’t even know what the puzzle is supposed to look like. 

Nasuh and Azize knew things. They were the only ones alive that knew what happened the night his parents died. His whole life he believed that the Şadoglus would lie to him. And even though they had lied to Reyyan, which he couldn’t forgive them for, they had been more forthcoming than his own family. This only served to confuse and frustrate him further. 

He didn’t know who to believe. He had no one to trust, and it seemed no one trusted him. Except for her .

He was lost, but Reyyan was his true north. If he followed her, he knew he’d find his way. 

She’d been through Hell, he’d put her through Hell, and yet here she was. Life had never treated her fairly, but today was an especially difficult one for her. She must have felt so alone in the world, and the one place she thought to go, a place to hide and feel safe, was the one he built for her. He thought about how she didn’t hesitate to put her arms around him and use him for comfort, for strength . He was honored that she trusted him. Hers was the only opinion that mattered anymore. Hers was the only love he longed for now. 

The crunch of tires on gravel interrupted his reverie. He wasn’t asleep, but had reached a decent level of contentment after the intense stresses of the evening. He had somewhat made peace with knowing he didn’t really know anything. But the car approaching their little piece of solitude was just the physical representation of other’s thoughts and agendas encroaching on their lives. And he had a pretty good idea who it was encroaching on their lives right now. 

He wasn’t surprised to see Hazar’s car pull in close behind his, then jerk to a stop. He sat up slowly as he watched the older man whip open then slam shut his door. He rose and took measured steps toward the locked door as Hazar hastily marched toward the front steps. 

“You!” Hazar had his gun pointed accusingly at him, but he stood sentinel in front of her door. 

He wasn’t armed, but wasn’t worried about it. Mostly he didn’t think the old man had the guts to shoot him, but he didn’t really care if he did. His purpose was virtuous, and if he died in the line of duty, so be it. 

“Why is it always you?” Hazar said as he climbed the stairs, pointing the gun the whole time.

He raised his eyes to the heavens to ask for some patience before bringing them back down to look Hazar straight in the face, daring him to continue.

“I’m going to take her home, and you’re going to let me.” the metal of the gun tinked against the metal of the rings he wore around his neck as the older man shakily held the gun against his chest. 

He was visibly upset, probably riddled with worry from looking for her most of the day and night. 

“I will not allow you to take her anywhere. You have no right to.” his voice was deadly calm, then accusing. 

Something like realization flashed through Hazar’s eyes before he straightened his arm and jabbed the gun into his chest again.

“How dare you, of all people, say that to me. As if you have a right to her.”

“No. I don’t, and you don’t. She chose to come here. And I am choosing to protect her choice.”

“You, thinking you are protecting her. After all you’ve done?” Hazar accused. 

“All I’ve done? I built this place for her, I gave her the only key, I told her to lock the door behind me. I am doing a better job of protecting her than you ever did.” both rage and pride glowed in his eyes. 

“Enough! Step aside so she doesn’t have to see her father become a murderer.” Hazar was resolved.

“No.” and so was he. 

The older man took a breath and took a step back to take aim. As he defiantly stared him down, he couldn’t help but notice, even in darkness, how similar Hazar’s eyes were to the ones he saw every day in the mirror. 

All coherent thought left him as the shattering sound of the gun firing rung in his ears.