You Can't Do This Alone!

What Have I Done? (Louis)

I have been here for about two months now, and you could say that I love having a family. Nikolai has been behaving like he should, no problems with school. I'm so proud of him! Poppy and I have been really close, we spent almost all day together. I decided to stay with them instead of staying the hotel. I love Poppy with all my heart and I always will. It just shows that our love has grown since the last time we saw each other. Eleanor called me earlier, which brought me back to the real world. Reminding me that I have a wife. I didn't tell Eleanor when I was coming home and I sure as hell never told Poppy that I'm married. What am I going to do, do I tell Poppy that I love her but I have to leave cause I have a wife? Or do I end it with Eleanor and stay with my family. I have no idea where to go from here, I think I'm going to call Liam and ask for his advice.

  "Hey, what's up man?" Liam asked answering his phone.

  "I have a big problem."

  "Let me guess, you're still in love with Poppy and you have no idea what to do?" How the hell did he know?

  "How did you know? And that's not all."

  "You've slept with her?"

  "Dang, dang, we have a winner."

  "All I can tell you to do is follow your heart. How is Nikolai doing?"

  "He is doing so much better! he's clean and staying in school and he even has new friends and a girlfriend! I'm so proud of him!"

  "It sounds like you know in your heart what you want to do." Liam said being his smart self.

  "It does?"

  "Yeah, it sounds like you love your family. Like I said follow your heart. Let me know when you decided." Liam said ending the call. He made it pretty clean what my heart is saying, I just have to listen to it. But what if I choose the wrong thing. I got interrupted by my phone going off.

  "Hello?" I asked answering my phone.

  "Hey, I wanted to let you know that Nikolai's girlfriend Kelsey is pregnant and her parents kicked her out." Poppy said

  "Are you going to let her move in?"

  "Well, I can't let her be on her own! She needs someone right now and we are all she has." Poppy said standing up for the girl. Poppy has always been so nice to people, you seen how welcoming  she was to me.

  "I knew you would, babe."

  "When are you coming home?"

  "I will be there in a few. I'm going to walk, I need to clear my head."

  "Alright I will see you later. Bye, Louis."

  "Bye." I said ending the call. What do I do? I know the right thing is staying with my family, but Eleanor doesn't deserve this. Maybe I should just leave them both, their life's would be so much better without me! But Nikolai really needs me right now. What the fuck am I going to do. Can someone please give me an answer and tell. I'm so confused right now! I looked around and everything reminded me of Eleanor. Her favorite flowers were planted everywhere, our second date at the park. How I bought her ice cream on our seventh at the beach. I swear that I could smell her sweet perfume. Everything reminded me of her! Maybe this is my sign, I should just go to Poppy's and pack and walk out that door and never show my face again! I need to take this sign!

  I headed back to Poppy's and went straight to the bedroom to pack my bag. I need to do this to save my marriage with Eleanor. I'm going to tell her everything and maybe she will forgive me.

  "You're leaving?" I heard Poppy's voice coming from the door.

  "Yes, there is something I need to tell you."

  "Just tell me and get it over with, Louis." I could tell that she's getting pissed, and I haven't even said a word yet.

  "Poppy, I'm married. I have been married to her for almost four years now."

  "Do you have any kids other than my son?"

  "No, we have never talked about kids."

  "You know what's funny, Louis?"

  "What?"

  "We use to talk about getting married and having kids. We have a son together, Louis! And you have never talked about having kids with her! Do you even love her or do you just care about your image! Is that why you never came back after you got that record deal? Because you're embarrassed by me and Nikolai? And if that's the case why did you even come back?" Poppy screamed on the verge of tears.

  "That's not it, I could never be embarrassed of my family!"

  "You have no right to call us your family! You need to leave right now, Louis. And you have a grandkid on the way that will never know his grandfather! You are going to do to him what you did to Nikolai!" I could tell that she was really pissed and once again it's all my fault! "Get the fuck out Louis!" I got my bag and walked to the bedroom door.

   "I'm sorry for everything, Poppy. I'm sorry for all the pain I keep putting you through." With that I walked out her door and went straight to the airport. I just hurt Poppy again, there goes everything I worked for the last two months!

                  

                                                          

                                                 BACK IN LONDON!

  I headed to mine and El's flat, she didn't know that I was coming back tonight. I wanted to surprise her. I opened the door and looked for her all in the down stairs area. I couldn't find her anywhere, I heard noise coming from upstairs and headed up there. I went to our bedroom and opened the door, seeing something that I never ever thought I would see. Eleanor and some guy in our bed, fucking. What the actual fuck?

  "You know I was feeling bad for cheating on you, but now I only feel good about it. I'll be back tomorrow to get my things and you will be getting some papers in the mail." I said turning around and heading to my car. I headed to Liam's house, he's the only one that would understand right now. I got to his house and rang the door bell.

  "What's wrong?" Liam asked opening the door to see my face.

  "Other than the fact that I screwed everything up big time?"

  "And how did you do that?" I told Liam everything that happened between me and Poppy. Everything that happened when I got home. I can't believe the mess that I caused, I guess Karma just took a big bite out of my arse! I can I make a bigger mess out of my life?!?!?