15. Le Grand Gesture (Part One)

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Thatcher texts me that he will pick me up in fifteen minutes. Apparently, his dad is being a huge jerk again, no surprise there, so Thatcher got held up from an argument with him. I get the text while my mom and I sit on the couch finishing up our coconut milk based ice "cream", our after dinner dessert.

"Who was that?" Mom asks after cleaning her spoon.

"Thatcher. He'll be here in fifteen."

She checks her watch. "I thought you said—"

"I did, but his dad started an argument with him about something, I don't know."

She rolls her eyes. "It could be anything with that man."

"Seriously."

"Why doesn't he move in with his grandma?"

"She lives outside of the district. He'd have to switch schools."

She nods. "Got it. Definitely don't want that."

"No."

"And what is the party tonight? Patti and Moth's going away?"

"Just Patti's. Moth is going away, but only I know at this point. And Moth isn't really going away. He will be away on weekends, but his parents can't do what Patti's are and take him out there for a while."

"His sister could, probably. Isn't she getting close to graduating college?"

"Yeah, she's a year away I think, but then she'd have to either not work or get a job in LA."

Mom shrugs as she licks another spoonful of ice "cream" from her spoon. "It could happen, you never know. What are you and Thatcher going to do without them around all the time?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. Just be a couple, I guess? Make new friends? Emma and Sean already invited us to come over to Sean's house to film some sketch comedy scenes for their YouTube channel."

Mom grimaces. "I don't like the sound of that."

"No, this would be a good opportunity for me. Here, I'll show you." I open my YouTube app and go to their channel. I click on the sketch with the most views, a sketch in which they play newscasters reporting on various strange situations in which they also play the weirdos the reports are about. It already has 100,000 views.

Mom's eyes widen when she sees that number, and as the video plays on, she even laughs a few times. When it ends, she leans back and asks, "So this would be something that would allow you to get noticed by agents too?"

I shrug. "Yeah, maybe."

"That's what you want, right?"

"Yeah, I want to act."

"Are you... okay that your friends are going to Hollywood? Are you jealous?"

I have to stop and think. I hadn't really thought about being jealous of Patti and Moth, I'd only thought about my fear of not seeing them again, about our little group separating and never coming back together the same way.

"I don't think what I'm feeling is jealousy. I think it's more so anxiety."

"About?"

"About never seeing them again or, like, never having friends like them again. Like, they'll leave me and I'll be alone, and I won't find another experience like I had, have, with the Misfits. So, we just read 'Self-Reliance' by Emerson in English class, and I read through it and panicked; because I'm not self-reliant. Not at all. I'm super dependent on my friends and on our little theater family. I'm so scared of what I'll be without them."

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