Misfit Theater Company 2

23. Coming Home

Angry adults are hilarious. They get all red-faced and yell that whatever you've done earns you some big, huge punishment, like, let's say, not being able to go to the next school dance because you acted in a play. But when the time comes to actually dole out the punishment, they've calmed down and forgotten all about it, to the point that when you and your equally banished boyfriend stroll into the school dance, they smile and say:

"Good evening, Janie. Good evening, Thatcher. You both look very dapper tonight. Have fun in there."

I smile, doing my best not to give it away that Dr. Howard very obviously forgot about his threat back in the spring.

"Thank you, Dr. Howard," I reply as we follow Sean and Emma, who are each other's dates even though neither of them would ever be interested in the other in that way, and as a group, all of us thespians strut into the decked-out gym for Homecoming.

The Homecoming theme is "Coming Home" and it's basically decorated like an early Thanksgiving Day celebration. The lights are tinted in warm yellows and oranges, and fake fall foliage is spread over all the tables and around the door. The photo booth has a picture of an autumn woods scene with a little cabin in the background.

The same DJ that we had at Snowball blasts some 90s song I can't quite remember the lyrics to while we all arrive, and the thespians walking ahead of me begin dancing toward the center of the gym where a very small congregation of students have formed a dance circle. It's still early, so I know more people will be arriving in the next thirty minutes or so; but some of the lights in the gym are still on, and we are so exposed here in the center of everything.

I think about Moth and what he would say to me in this moment. It would be something like, "Ah, c'mon Janie, you know that when you are unapologetically yourself, others will be too." So I take a deep breath and join Emma in some sort of interpretive dance to the song playing through the gym.

And just then, as though my reservations had been heard by everyone, someone turns all the lights off except for the yellow and orange spotlights that dance around the gym along with us. The crowd already inside the gym cheers. Now we can really let loose and be weird. Or at least that's what us Ensemble thespians do.

Emma is jumping up and down and swinging her arms in the air.

Sean is literally on the ground doing the worm while there's still room on the dance floor.

Thatcher steps up his white boy head bop with a little arm crossing action.

And I'm just laughing hysterically at Sean and Emma while doing something with my legs, who knows. Who cares. I'm having an amazing time already.

A circle forms within our Ensemble theater group, and each person takes a turn in the center. Even me. In the center of a whole group of misfits, in the dark, I can do anything and I know I won't be judged.

I try to do a dance I've seen in old movies Mom made me watch with her. I think it's called the running man, but whatever it is, I am definitely not doing it correctly. I don't care, though. I'm too busy laughing.

That's when I hear a loud, obnoxious cheer for me on the side of the circle that I vaguely recognize. I look up: It's Gina, who has slipped into the outer circle and is cheering me on while her boyfriend Dylan watches from behind her.

This is not the Gina I once knew. If nothing else proved to me that she was trying to change for the better, this would be the clincher.

I wave for her to come in the circle and join me. Her smile falls as I can only imagine she runs through all the pros and cons of joining me. Then, as if throwing the list away, she smiles again and shouts, "What the hell," before skipping in to join me.